The Trials and Tribulations of the not-so-New Bear Icon

Austrian weightlifters competing for Germany!



On MSNBC in the middle of the night they showed Matthias Steiner win the gold in the 105+ KG group. His clean and jerk was over 500 pounds. I have to say I liked that he had to adjust himself in his tight singlet before every lift.

Sadly, he lost his wife in an auto accident last year. I guess the gold medal helps, but could he use some consoling? :-)

Hmm. How hard is it to become a weightlifter? Am I too old?

Time for a few answers...

First, braddumm asks: "Explain the moniker "Eggwards"

Back in college all of the Tubads - the tuba section of the Univ. of Houston Marching Band - got nicknames. There's a some thought put into the names and a big naming ceremony for the new guys, much like what you see in "Animal House." I was given the nickname "Egg". Two reasons for that, first, I was new to playing tuba and second it was a description of my shape - belly shape mostly. Needless to say, the name stuck.

When first getting on the internet i needed a name, and I was surprised to see that Egg was already taken. Occasionally people would take my last name, Edwards, and mix it up with the nickname putting it together, hence Eggwards. It's been my online persona ever since.

Once i started getting involved with the bear community I still used the same name and never really changed to something bear or cub related.

Second, Peter (texaspenguin) asks: "What's your favorite part about Dallas?"

That's a tough one. I like that the restaurants are easy to find. heh. There's some good people, but it's hard to get together, especially when you're not one to be outgoing and get everyone together.

Really, Dallas for me means a connection to my family, but it's more of a past connection when my grandparents were still alive. now that they are gone, i find I don't have that much of a connection with the rest of the family, or the city. For all the bragging, Dallas is pretty dull and average. Frankly, San Antonio and Austin are really more interesting cities, though I doubt I'd move to either one.

Sorry, I'm a poor ambassador for the city.

Then there's a barrage of questions from Carlos (paladincub21):

"Have you ever found me attractive?"

Well, I'd have to say I've only seen a couple of pictures of you, and there's some good things, but I'd really have to meet you to know better.

"More seriously, being gay and being into sports is easy for some, hard for others. What has your experience been putting the two together."

Well, I'm not sporty. I seem to lack the physical makeup and the skills to really play sports well. I liked playing softball, but I knew I sucked, and the team wanted to be more competitive so it wasn't fun anymore. I'd love to play on a less-competitive basis, but there's not a league that I've found like that here in Dallas.

As for being a fan, i think I was a bigger fan when I was alone and sports were a good way to kill the time. Right now I just don't have many people in my life that really watch sports, so I find myself drifting away from getting involved there as well. I'll still watch an Astros game now and then, and I'll watch what's going on when we go out to sports bars, but that's about it.

Still, I'd love to get back to playing Fantasy Baseball again. I wonder if I should ask if people on LJ would be interesting to try it again.

"You weren't out very long before you started dating/partnered? I know you love your husband, but how do you feel about how quickly it all happened?"

It was fast, but I think I had gotten to the time of my life where I was looking for something like that. I was more than happy to have something solid and lasting among all of the chaos. I think if Chris wasn't in my life, and I was just going out here and there, I still wouldn't be out to my parents right now. I probably am still a little naive because I didn't spend a long time in the pool, a little less well versed about the community and such, but I think it's worked out great.

And lastly, "What do you like best about your partner? What do you like the least?"

Put me on the spot will you? I like that he understands me, mostly, and he does understand that I'm still a little undercooked and emotionally difficult. Heck, I don't always know myself who I am, and I'm less than confident in many ways. He deals with that well.

I think we both share the worst trait, and that we're both a little passive-agressive. Sometimes i'd like him to take the lead, and often it's the same time he'd like me to do the same. This often comes up when we are going out to eat dinner and we haven't decided on a place. We both just want the other to make a decision, but neither one of us wants to put out an idea that might be shot down. Sometimes decision-making can take a while for the two of us.



Should you be inclined to ask me a question, you can do so HERE, where comments are screened.

➜First, a couple of sidelines. The coverage of the life of Lady Bird Johnson is interesting. I'm really surprised by her and what she did in an era when first ladies really weren't supposed to do anything. Now they are all supposed to have their pet causes. Lady bird doesn't seem like one to cause too much of a fuss, or be much of a feminist or anything, but she was a pretty early environmentalist in her own way.

She was a very prominent Texas, and quite the southern lady. I must put seeing the Lady Bird wildflower center on my list of thing to do.

➜BW3 isn't as interesting when the trivia game is down. Also, the new cub waiter should be our waiter. He delivered our food, but another gal actually served us.

As we were there, some of the televisions were tuned into the Major League Soccer game. The game wasn't very interesting, and this was certainly highlighted by ESPN's coverage. Every few minutes there was an announcement or a commercial telling you the "David Beckham is coming to America on July 21!!!" You couldn't get away from it. it was like the Second Coming had been announced.

So yeah, the local MLS team in Dallas has a big billboard also promoting this, saying that Beckham is coming to Dallas (for the LA Galaxy's one game against Dallas) oh, and tickets are STILL available. This billboard has been up since March.

Let's face it, here he's a lot less famous than his wife. She got more attention for the announcement of a reunion tour of the Spice Girls. In the middle of tonight's Houston vs. Chicago game, the announcers were so bored they did a phone interview with the LA coach about the arrival of such a superstar. I was really wanting the coach to say, "Oh, he's just another player," but it's more likely the league officials were forcing him to make this a "big deal."

If Pelé didn't make soccer a big success, I don't think Mr. Posh Spice will, either.

➜OK, and now about today's performance.

Well, it wasn't horrible.

There were lots of ways I could have done better, and I probably overreached in a couple of places, trying to do more, and provide more than necessary, but I wanted to show I could develop my own materials and go beyond what was given. I ran into some time constraint problems, some of it caused by the "participants" arriving late.

One of the biggest problems was our training region, with the programs and test accounts was down, so everything had to be on paper, and I could only demonstrate so far in the live production region. It made it hard to complete the mission.

If there's any way to overwhelm with handouts, I think I did it.

My class was made up of four managers and one corporate trainer. while dealing with this group is tough, having the trainer there was even more difficult as I know from talking with her that she has formal training, and I'm pretty much self-taught, and may be a little more rough around the edges.

I wanted to encourage participation amongst the students, and I wasn't quite sure if the managers would go for it, but how wrong I was. They actually talked to much, and showed a lot more knowledge than a new associate would, so often I would have to try to recover trying to keep them on topic. I'm not sure I reigned them in enough, and I had to drop some of the extras I had planned.

Heck, when I'm nervous I just keep talking, so I was trying to keep myself on message, and here's this group finding ways to make an item good when it was presented as a bad order item. One of them also went on about how his group would process something differently and I had to keep telling him that an entry-level processor isn't trained to do that. It was annoying, and should have been left out of the discussion. I guess I was lucky to get to the actual live demonstration after discussing the reasons why you would reject and item, and having people conflicting on those reasons.

It's training - the only time these things get to be black and white!

I was a little worried about using the "reward" for a good answer, handing out chocolate. I didn't want it to seem like a bribe, but I'd do it in a class anyway, so I did it today. It seemed to excite them. What's training without candy, anyway?

So I should know if I move on to the next round in a week or so, this after the three weeks between round one and today's mess. They started with twelve, had six do the demo, and will narrow it down to two. I'm thinking I didn't knock it out of the park today. Perhaps with some better time management skills i could have done so, but I didn't bomb, either.

I threw in a little joke at the end, a trainer's evaluation sheet who's only choices were that I was great and got the job or I was the best and got the job. It was more the fact that I would think of the detail of an evaluation sheet over what it said, but heck, if I can't promote myself, who can?

I think I did well not to break character, not falling into the trap of saying "oh, you manager's know this already." I even told them, although we won't be able to process items in here, be sure to have your mentor on the floor help you with your first item. Except for having to bring them back on track, I tried not to acknowledge them and anything but new associates.

I had them create name cards for me, a typical training trick to allow the instructor to call people by name. When Chuck wrote Lloyd on his, I only addressed him as Lloyd. They found it funny, but I wasn't joking.

We'll see where they want to go. Apparently they are about to have a training class next month, so they really need a trainer. I hope I showed them that I can hit the ground running, even providing improvements to what's out there, but with these guys I don't know. I'd cross my fingers, but that never works in my favor.

While Chris and I were playing trivia at BW3 tonight I noticed an interesting poll on ESPN News. It's Mark McGwire's first opportunity to be on the ballot for the Baseball Hall of Fame, and of the Baseball Writers (those who vote on the Hall of Fame inductees) only 25% said that they would vote for McGwire on this ballot.

So 75% of the voters surveyed would say no to McGwire...at least on this round. I think it's a shame because I think McGwire (and Sammy Sosa) re-kindled America's interest in baseball for a short time that few players have. Watching the chase for 70 was thrilling and fun.

Of course the fact that the muscle-bound McGwire was frackkin hot is a whole 'nuther addition to his greatness in my book.

The fact that I was rooting for him when his St Louis Cardinals were playing in the same division as the Astros means that I really respected his talent...or something. Ok, so I was horny in 1998, not like that's anything new.

Unfortunately, McGwire will always be placed in with the drug-enhanced bunch, even though the evidence is a little shaky. Yes, he copped to using Andro to build muscle, but at the time the supplement wasn't on the banned list. (It is now.) Neither was creatine. Perhaps his leaving baseball in his prime was to get out before more could be found, or a test would come up with something, we'll never know. The fact is, the writers are assuming that he used illegal substances without their being empirical proof.

What some point to as proof is that the pictures of McGwire as a rookie show a much less developed man than he was playing for the Cardinals. Sammy Sosa also went through this transformation at about the same time. During this time supplements and strenght training took leaps ahead, so it's not completely out of place for this to be "natural", but again, I'm not sure we'll really know.

McGwire's record of 70 home runs was surpassed by Barry Bonds, a many with even more allegations against him, and an ongoing investigation. Given that Bonds may surpass the record for career home runs will really question if he's Hall of Fame worthy.

in many cases, holding a record, or being on the top ten of a major record (let's say, number of doubles for a career) would get you in pretty easily, but sadly, in this era anyone who has a record season, or record career is automatically suspect.

Is the question to just go ahead and allow substances, and allow everyone the opportunity to go big, or do we try to keep the sport clean...as much as it can? Always there will be those who will try to get an edge, something that might keep them in the game a little longer, or propel them to the stratosphere.

You look at a story of someone who did come forward, who did say that he was taking steroids, Ken Caminiti, and you wonder it it was worth it. Yes, he did win MVP one year, and he was able to play hurt, but in the end, it was a middling career. His admission cost him the Hall, and his own personal demons eventually cost him his life.

So what price fame and glory? McGwire has his head on a little better than Ken Caminitti, so the snub probably won't affect him as much. McGwire has rarely done interviews or appearances since he retired. You're more likely to see disgraced star Pete Rose on the baseball card circuit than you are McGwire.

Still, I would put McGwire in the Hall, all the while I'm rooting against Barry Bonds...perhaps it's hypocritical, but I think much of it just has to do with the man himself. McGwire always seemed appreciative, confident and likable, while Bonds comes off as an arrogant prick. Bonds was never the teammate that McGwire seemed to be despite the sideshow.

Perhaps McGwire will get in on a later ballot, but it looks like for now, the baseball Writers are going to use him to make a statement, that players of the "juiced" era aren't going to be thought of as highly as others. Integrity? Perhaps, but it's sad that it comes down to a man with character to be the sacrificial lamb.

So if the news that Floyd Landis won the Tour de France wasn't a surprise to you, then you were probably one of the millions of americans who thought that no american had a chance at winning, and tuned the whole thing out. Why, since we Americans are a little self-centered, would we care when some other bloke wins a cycling race?

it then comes as a very little shock that Landis was tested, and came up positive for steroids. Any American would come under suspicion, especially after the multiple wins by lance Armstrong, which were always under suspicion by the international community.

There were always rumors, and even some who tried to put up evidence that Armstrong was at least using the after cancer medications to his advantage. Still, after being scrutinized for seven years, it became hard to deny that the man was just athletically gifted.

Still, people didn't know Landis, and suddenly he's on the podium accepting the trophy. All the riders who had been picked to win were in the shadow of another American, and this one, Landis, has a hip injury. How could one get through such a grueling race like that? Landis will have much to explain in the next few days as he will try to defend his title. He'll also be under suspicion in every other race he goes into.

I suppose he'll try to show that whatever showed up in the cup is medicinal, keeping his hip from flaring up during the ride, but on more than one occasion people have been stripped of titles and fired just because they took a banned cough medication prior to competition.

Of course, americans are having enough trouble with the use of steroids, everyone from high school athletes to Barry Bonds, that it's no wonder there's suspicion. When there's so much effort to go higher, faster stronger, and the lure is money, it's a powerful influence to take any advantage your given. so far the American public's reaction has been disapproving, but not condemning.

Still, you have to wonder about this race, and the athletes in it. So a man recovering from cancer (albeit in fine shape) can win seven times, then the next year the race is won by a guy with a bad hip? Heck, I get winded after a few minutes on a bike, and I'm thinking of trying out.

I know, I'm American and don't understand games we aren't good at, like soccer. still, our attempt to export snowmobile jumping hasn't been that successful, right?

I'm going to start placing bets that next year's winner is one of the quadriplegics from the movie "Murderball." This after Steven Hawking is thrown out for trash-talking with his speak and spell.

A couple of days ago, Thursday to be exact, was Texas Independence Day. The day commemorates the day that the Texas rebels, now engaged in civil war with Mexico, signed their Declaration of Independence from Mexico. It is not, however, the actual finale of the skirmish with Mexico, as the US Revolutionary War kept going past "Independence Day", so did the Texan's war with the dictatorship of Santa Ana.

In similarity to the American Revolutionary war, the Texans, very different as American Ex-Patriots in northern Mexico colonies, felt that the leadership from far away Saltillo and Mexico City not only didn't respect their rights but also restricted the colonies growth. Mexico, already worried about the size of the anglo colonies wanted to crack down on the settlements and General Santa Ana himself, leader of the military that was ruling Mexico decided to take matters into his own hands.

It wasn't until the Battle of San Jacinto on April 19th, 170 years ago that the Texans finally found victory in sneaking around and finding Santa Ana taking a siesta on the plain that's now next to the Houston Ship Channel. The war ended not because the Texans were stronger, or were superior, they had lost many a man at the Alamo and other battles. They won because they broke the rules of warfare and attacked the Mexican camp when they weren't expecting it.

In fact, Santa Ana had to be brought to Texas General Sam Houston who had been wounded in the ankle earlier. Santa Ana was forced to end the campaign and take his army back to Mexico, and Texas became a republic for a few years before finally gaining statehood in 1846, but still, skirmishes between texas and Mexico continued until Mexico was finally defeated by the US in the Mexican-American War in 1848 that secured California and the southwest for the United States.

Still, somedays you wonder if the battle was ever over.

Just recently the city of Houston was given the San Jose Earthquakes, a Major League Soccer team that's expected to do better in the largely Hispanic Houston than it did in Silicon Valley. It will have a long way to go, as there are plenty of soccer fans in the city, but they are more attracted to the football teams in Mexico and Central America than they are in the American version of the sport. Several of those teams even visit Houston drawing large crowds for their exhibition games.

Of course the exhibition games are usually low priced, and played at several of the city's older stadiums, or at UH's Robertson stadium, which can be rented cheaply. Major League Soccer needs a permanent home, and one that's likely to cost, since the sweetheart deals the Astros, Texans and Rockets got are probably not going to be available to an upstart team that half the city 's population won't care about. Heck, the support for the Comets (Women's Basketball) went down dramatically when they stopped winning championships, hockey has never taken off as the Aeros have been in three different leagues, and Houston's outdoor and indoor soccer teams (the Hurricanes and the Hotshots, among others) never gotten much traction.

one might think it would be good to have a stadium in east Houston to try to engage Hispanic fans, and the land is cheap, but unless ticket prices are also cheap, it isn't likely to work, so I'm sure the new Houston team will have to do what the FC Dallas (formerly the Dallas Burn) has done, find a suburb with soccer-crazed kid population and hope it works. A few years at Dallas' Fair Park proved futile, and the ticket buyers were the people from North Dallas, Plano and Frisco, not from the hispanic areas of town, so the team moved north to a new stadium in a growing suburb.

Unfortunately Houston is very large, and the satellite cities (such as Sugar Land, Katy and Conroe) are not really capable of taking on such a project. Houston also has a sports funding mechanism the other cities lack, so it's pretty much play ball with the big boys, or get relegated to a high school stadium. Of course the Astrodome, while too big, is still empty.

So how does this relate to the revolutionaries of days gone by? Well, when the team was looking for a name, they wanted something traditional that would remind people of the names of European and South american football clubs. The League has been looking to change the flashy names of it's past, like the Burn, into names more like Arsenal and Manchester United. The ownership team of the Houston Club chose the name "1836" - the year of the City of Houston's founding.

Just a note about that. Houston was founded in late August 1836 by two land speculators from New York who were eager to get in on the land rush in the newly minted country. Why they thought swamp land in the heat of August would make an attractive community, I have no idea, but to help sales they put out a flyer in many US cities to buy land in the city of Houston - a city that didn't exist, cleverly named for the war hero and first president. Houston was pumped up by developers then, and it still is today.

But 1836 is also the year of defeat for the Mexican Army, and the soccer club found themselves in hot water with some of the fans they were hoping to get. Apparently citizens of Houston who may have had ancestors at the battle, or just in Mexico in general took offense to the numerical moniker. The battle, long since over on the battlefield, apparently lives on, much like the US Civil war still seems to give some reason to be mad about losing the "War Betwixt the States".

History, is written by the winners, and Texas has gone on to be the wealthy neighbor to some of the poorest areas of Mexico, driving a cultural influx. Now with political activism and political correctness, even a 170 year old fight still smolders.

So the team announced their new name today, the Houston Dynamo. While neither the proposed or the current name really conjures up any greatness, it's interesting to see what will end up offending others, even when the intention was certainly not there. Sports teams are in the business of making money, not driving away potential customers. Still, many Houstonian's would have rather seen the NFL team named the Toros, rather than the bland Texans. Perhaps Texican's would have been more historically accurate and pleasing?

Still, a change is here in Texas as the majority in the state is now Hispanics. Just as the Anglo colonists came in and eventually took over, perhaps the future will reclaim Texas, if not for Mexico itself, for the people who descended from Santa Ana's army. He may get the last laugh after all.