The Trials and Tribulations of the not-so-New Bear Icon

So, what's been going on? For me it's been mostly working. It's the worst time of the year to be in financial services, but yet it's when I can make the most money, so I try not to complain too much about the long hours.

We do get Good Friday off. There's not much point to having it off, but it's a day the New York Stock Exchange takes off, so we get it too. At first they were going to let people come in and get some overtime hours, which was fine with me, Chris has to work, and I might as well make some cash, right? Well today they decided that our volumes are down from what they were last year, so we won't be allowed to come in. No extra cash when we're not as overwhelmed as before.

This is all good, but Friday was the designated Jeans Day for the quarter. That's right, the quarter. Chris gets a jeans day every Friday, but we're all stuffy about it because some bigwig might come in. luckily we don't have to wear ties, I've been in those jobs, and hated them. Still, with so few opportunities to dress down I like to have those days.

Of course some people dress pretty sloppy anyway, I'm not the best dresser, but I'm not the worst, either. the best dresser is Mr. Dolche and Gabbana. He's always got sweaters draped over his shoulders and suits and super pointy shoes. He occasionally wears a D&G wool hat on his head. He dresses like the kind of older twink that you expect him to be. Very fussy, very Felix Unger.

One nice thing has been that Sourpuss has been moved away. She's on another row now, and I'm really grateful. I don't think I've ever known more about a co-worker's family, children's problems, home repair, and medical history. I know this because she would always talk about these things very loudly on the phone. I'm not sure how she could have ever been productive as she was always on a personal call.

I've heard calls about how she didn't want her daughter in the special ed classes, how she didn't get permits to have the landscape work done in her back yard, and her constant bickering with the people at the weight-loss clinic about what she could and could not eat on her plan. She did know that I could clearly hear her. one day she turned to me and stated, "You know that I suffer from depression, right?" Actually, I didn't until then, and now what am I supposed to say? "That's Great?"

Of course that doesn't mean that all of my other co-workers are quiet. Sitting in the cubical across from me is "Lord Help Me, Jesus!". I call her this because at any interval of the day, when she gets the slightest bit frustrated with work, this is what she screams out. She's not very well equipped for this job, so I hear it a lot. personally i feel that the refrain is falling on deaf ears, much like God probably doesn't care who wins the Superbowl, and probably doesn't do much with the outcome.

Sometimes she actually asks her coworkers for help. Wait, that's all the time. I get all sorts of questions, many are ones that if she had some training and know something about finances, she might be better at the job, but the company isn't big on training, just production, without seeing the benefit more training would have on the other. When I get questions about how mutual funds work, then I know we're in trouble.

That's a big problem with the job as it is, the managers are looking at straight numbers, and little else. I have a new manager, my third in the past year. He has said a full sentence to me about four times. It's just showing me that they really aren't paying attention to their people, and even worse, really aren't trying to improve their workforce. This is how people like "Lord Help Me, Jesus!" manage to stay in these positions when they clearly aren't cut out for it. I hate seeing this because i know what I could do if I was made a manager...and I'd want to make it better. I want that job, not the one I'm stuck with!

One last thing..."Lord Help Me, Jesus!" was asking people if they had seen a movie...one that i think was a religious movie of some sort, so she was probably trying to check up on people and to bring them to the Lord through cinema. So she asks me, "Michael, Have you seen My Special Something?"

I was confused by this, but it also sounded like a strange come-on, so in my usually loud voice I turned to her and said, "Glenda, No, I haven't seen your special something." She turned red and giggled in the "that was funny but I go to church and don't really approve" way as other people around us heard and were a bit confused. Someone joked that HR would need to be called in.

Oh well, that's what's up for me. Hopefully I'll enjoy the cafeteria's $1 burger day next week. So much for the full meal we were comped lat year! Otherwise, unless there's something better, I'll be studying for my licensing exam on Friday.

So, a couple of weeks ago I mentioned that we sometimes start saying "Big Boy" and "Fluffy" when people get those voice recognition call menus that I hate so much, mocking the Citibank ad.

Well, I think we've found the correct password that seems to get you past most of those prompts and directly to a person. It came from a conversation about Tom Cruise.

The Word? Xenu. So far it has a pretty good track record with most of the financial companies with voice commands.

Who knew they were all aligned against the true way?

So I signed up for the gym at work yesterday, and I'll probably carry a gymbag tomorrow to encourage myself to actually use the facility. Of course the place doesn't have a pool or anything, but it has circuit training machines, cardio machines, free weights locker rooms and the like. Except for tennis and racquetball courts, it's pretty much like the gym of the Houston City Club that I had a membership to for a while. Of course the city Club cost me $75 bucks a mont, and I never used the tennis courts or the dining facilities, so economically, it really wasn't a good deal.

The gym at work is $19 a month, no restrictions, quit at anytime. A pretty good deal, really. The problem is, it is a long way to drive on weekends and they only have memberships for people who work there. The other problem is that Chris can't join. It's not a discrimination thing, no partner/spouse can join, unless they also work for the company, at our campus.

Chris has been wanting to shape up a bit for a while, and has been thinking about joining a gym. Now I'm willing to participate in a joint membership because I would like to have a workout partner. It helps get me motivated. sure, it's an expense, but I think it will be good for the both of us.

Now Chris had found a coupon of sorts from the Discovery channel to test out Bally's for a few weeks, so tonight we went over there to see what the facility looked like. It's a lot further than a 24 Hour fitness location and several other privately owned gyms that are in our area. Still, there was this coupon...

now so you don't think that I haven't been around the block before, yes, I've been to a gym and gotten the sales pitch. Several years ago I went to Q, The Sports Club looking to get a gym membership, and suddenly I was being sold a package with multiple locations and options and all sorts of stuff. When they got me in their little car salesman room and wanted to get me on a contract and draft my account for three years, I knew that it was trouble, and I wanted to get out. The experience was a lot like car sales, where he even brought in his manager to "sweeten" the deal.

Here's some lines to avoid - "It pays for itself in a few months", "You can always leave after a month (but not telling you how to break the contract)", and the insulting "Well, you know you need this, how will you ever reach your goals?"

This is where you should run, not walk, out of the dealership fitness center.

So tonight we had Bobby who took us on a tour of the Bally Total Fitness location on Preston near Belt Line. The gym looked OK, and I have to admit, I liked the pool - though the smoothie bar and nutritional supplement center was unnecessary ("but you get a 25% discount on this stuff!"). Everything was going well, until we saw that we were going to go into that little sales room.

Yep, from here the spin started. Certainly we would want the full package, and we could try that out free for a month and it would give us access to many different bally's locations. Certainly this was better than the free Discovery Channel offer that would last for two weeks more than the one month offer! Oh, and we'll need your bank information for the full trial period (The one that you can quit after that month if you remember to shut down your checking account).

What was skeeving me out is that the guy kept talking and looking at me, not Chris. It was the classic couple divide and conquer technique where you sell the other partner on it and they can convince the main decision maker. Suddenly i was the easy to convince wife. I didn't much like this, and he wasn't going to get to me, because I already had a gym. It was all Chris' decision to make.

Seeing that he wasn't getting very far, he suddenly lowered the rate, though it was already on a second sheet that was already filled out with that special rate - oh, but we'd have to decide tonight, because "that rate isn't even supposed to be in the computer anymore!" Wow! Imagine our luck.

I had had enough, and pretty much shut up, while Chris tried to get another couple of questions answered, like what their real rate and enrollment fees were. Bobby, of course, deflected these inquiries. I wasn't playing the demure wife who knew we needed to get in shape, so why don't we pay this? When he asked me point blank if I needed to be working out, I said, "I'm really not making this decision, he is." I was now out of any further conversation.

Chris then asked for any paperwork we could take home, and Bobby said there wasn't any, so that pretty much sealed the deal. We asked if we could still use the "lesser" Discovery Channel trial, and leave it at that, and he begrudgingly gave us cards that we could use to get in on the freebee. Of course he shorted us a week.

Personally, I was pretty mad. I think this is the lousiest form of salesmanship around, and I wonder why this actually works with people. I know people buy cars under pressure, and they also sign these ridiculous contracts for these gyms, then never use them again, but can't get out of them. I had a co-worker who once did collections for another gym, and they were using tactics that would make loan sharks proud. Very few contracts are as iron clad as a gym membership.

I just wonder where they train these jocks on how to make these awful sales pitches. Certainly it's pretty intense, and it removes their hearts and conscience. Can you really think your really serving your customer, or just corporate greed?

Still, I'll take my fitness my way - but as Bobby says "If you don't come here at least three times a week, you'll never see results." He'd certainly know that insulting my commitment would do the trick to get us to sign. Of course, I'm convinced now. Just as convinced as I was by the guy several years ago at Q, who also told me that I had to have this, or the guy who tried to sell me a car at what ever payments were best for me without telling me the price of the car, or the APR percentage. Bobby also pulled the "so is this how much you expected to pay" line to see if we would cough up more information for his next pricing pitch. Sorry, i don't fall for the shifting price trick.

Really, if the guy had just been honest, and given reall answers, he would have gotten a lot farther. The he wouldn't have to convince the wife here of anything. We made a hasty exit after he delivered the cards to us.

Here's a tip, make sure you use your mental fitness before swimming with these sharks.