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Alright, time to turn on the randomizer...

* First, there's a pick-up truck in our parking garage - one of many as you might guess, we have people driving everything from trucks with acetylene torches for welding to ones where the guy advertises his cattle ranch. Seriously, he'll sell you fresh beef from his ranch. Still, this one truck is out there and the entire bed of the truck is filled with empty oil bottles. On the back window there's a sticker that says "Save Ocean Wildlife".

Luckily for the seals the oil slick is under this guys truck, and not out at sea.

* Next, apparently Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia defended the US use of torture by giving his support to the efforts of fictional character Jack Bauer. He stated, "Jack Bauer saved Los Angeles. ... He saved hundreds of thousands of lives," Judge Scalia said. Then, recalling Season 2, where the agent's rough interrogation tactics saved California from a terrorist nuke, the Supreme Court judge etched a line in the sand.

Yes, Jack's techniques work because the writers wrote that it would work. That's kind of like endorsing vigilantism because Batman's effective.

Really, does anyone in Washington know what reality is anymore?

* Here's an odd, morning addled conversation Chris and I had, as much as I can recall it.

I'm at the computer and a noticeably hungry Chris is ready to go get breakfast. I turn and ask him where he's going, and he states he has to get something to eat before he comes over and eats my hand off. I said, "So, eat my hand off, huh?" He replies, "Yeah, then what are you going to do?" "I don't know, wait for the bleeding to stop then stump you?"

Stumping - verb - A sexual act of penetration involving an amputated limb.

Chris, clearly put off by the image starts to walk down the stairs. I needed to pile on. "So, would stumping be something like "Phantom Fisting?"

Chris was done with me for a while.
eggwards: (Labeled Bear)
A who's who of entertainers--from Tom Cruise to Tom Hanks to Tom Petty--has agreed to assemble Friday night February 2nd, for an unprecedented telethon on ABC, CBS, NBC and Fox to aid the victims of this weeks week's horrific Mooninite attacks in Boston.

The live two-hour event, called America: A Tribute to Paranoia, will "raise funds and raise the spirits of all who have been touched by the horrific tragedy that has struck America, but only caused a problem in Boston" according to a joint press release Tuesday from the four networks.

"America: A Tribute to Paranoia will seek to unite a shaken city with words and music while paying tribute to the indomitable spirit, unfaltering fortitude and courage that truly makes America 'the land where people can get scared by a guerilla marketing campaign,' " the press release reads.

As one of the night's stars, George Clooney says of the event, "We are shocked and our hearts go out to those who were kept in absolute terror by the appearance of these plastic and battery-powered devices. A telethon is just our way of trying to get back to normalcy." He said they hope to raise tens of dollars for the effected victims.

Billed as "an unforgettable and uplifting evening filled with music, memories, hope and inspiration," the event will be simulcast live and commercial-free on ABC, CBS, NBC and Fox from 9-11 p.m. ET and 8-10 p.m. CT (it will be tape-delayed in Mountain and Pacific time zones). In addition, the feed is being made available to all other broadcast and cable networks and radio stations, with the Bravo, CMT, E!, Style Network, The N and The Knitting Channel among those planning to carry the telethon. Turner Network stations have declined to participate.

The sheer star power is staggering. Participants will include Tom Cruise, Tom Hanks and Tom Petty, along with (in alphabetical order) Bon Jovi, Amy Brenneman, Jim Carrey, George Clooney, Sheryl Crow, Cameron Diaz, Celine Dion with Rosemary Butler, the Dixie Chicks, Robert De Niro, Clint Eastwood, Calista Flockhart, Dennis Franz, Kelsey Grammer, Faith Hill, Billy Joel, Alicia Keys, Larry the Cable Guy, Conan O'Brien, Ray Romano, Julia Roberts, Paul Simon, Will Smith, Bruce Springsteen, Sela Ward, Robin Williams, Stevie Wonder and "Weird Al" Yankovic, with more likely to be added in coming hours.

All funds raised by America: A Tribute to Paranoia will be earmarked for the post light-brite attack relief effort.



(This is all in fun, folks - don't take it seriously)
eggwards: (Labeled Bear)


Seems that Bigfoot has shed a few pounds. Luckily we have the Weekly World News to tell us about it. I suppose that they got the scoop from the big guy himself, since Steve Austin isn't scaring him off these days.

I'm not thinking this is so much news, as it seems like the Simpsons already covered this story.

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