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I've said it before, but my doctor fully believes in better living through chemistry. Over the last few years of seeing him, I never seem to get away without getting some new prescription for something. Over the last year I've been taking two pills, one for cholesterol and one for blood pressure, even though I'm just in the high normal range for both.

He's also got me sticking myself with a little pen that has a diabetes medicine that he has me take more for the supposed weight-loss benefits than trying to actually control my sugars - though it does both! Of course, the CPAP machine was also supposed to help me lose weight.

I was disappointed that when I went into his office and was weighed, the scale showed me at 20 pounds over where I thought I was. I knew I wasn't wearing twenty pound shoes, so I actually had them calibrate the scale. That's when I learned that our gym scale totally lies. Sure, the gym scale is wildly inconsistent, but even the median weight was wrong - and that just made me mad.

Chris nicely says it must be muscle mass. I appreciate that, though I haven't seen it. I think my body is resistant to change.

Still, I thought I had come out of it with only the status quo of paycheck killing drugs until he got the labs back.

For some reason he hinted at something in his questioning phase of the physical, asking if I have been experiencing regular "morning wood." This is where it's nice to have a gay doctor and not feel odd about the question as we've discussed sexual things before, but this question I thought had more to do with blood pressure and sugars than anything else.

Nope, he was checking up on the aging issue. Now with the onset of 40, a whole host of new questions and tests come along. Part of the lab work included a prostate test where I did fine, and a testosterone test. When I called in about the lab results he said I was experiencing a drop in testosterone. He said as you get older the pituitary gland clicks a switch and turns off much of the production of such stuff.

He said I had dropped to about a quarter of a normal level. I'm not sure if that's a normal level for a 40-year-old, or for men in general.

So here it is, the newest drug designed to make sure I have abundant morning wood, I guess. It's called AndroGel, and I think it's what Mark McGwire was on for a few years. Right?

The odd thing is that it is a gel that I have to put on my belly or arms, but not on my chest. Don't these people know I want better pecs?

So there you have it. I'm now on steroids. Maybe finally I'll start seeing some better results from those workouts and be the muscle bear I've always wanted to be, and the total stud I wish I was. Aren't drugs great?

Of course there's a long list of possible side effects, including increased breast growth and discomfort (?), and prostate enlargement. Yikes. Of course it said it can also lead to sleep apnea. I've already gotten that naturally, so I guess I'm OK there.

Needless to say, I am a little worried about this. I was expecting more of a pill solution, and while yeah, I'd like to stay "young and virile", I'm not totally on board with this solution yet. I'll be watching the results very carefully.

What I can't wait for is the 'roid rage. Chris is going to have to make sure he doesn't bring up the man boobs now!
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You know, the future hasn't been all it was cracked up to be.

I was hearing someone talk about the space race earlier today and they said, "You know, our generation was promised this, they were promised to be the first generation out in space." We'll it didn't happen.

I know, it's one of those "where are the flying cars?" kind of things, but it's true. When I was born, in the sixties, the view of the future was bright and bold and the world's problems would be solved. Wasn't there some Age of Aquarius that was supposed to happen?

We still have war, and famine, and disease. somewhere along the way the things like "The Great Society" turned into failed government policies and used by those who look more for handouts than hand up and all that claptrap. Somewhere between then and now, our society changed from thinking about the whole of mankind to just thinking about ourselves.

That space race ended when we, the Americans, won. Did we really have the vision to actually do something further than just going to the moon? After we got there, we sent a couple of other LEMs there to collect a few rocks and drive around the golf cart, then we left it for good. Space became just another place to haul cargo to, not the bold new frontier. I remember watching television wondering if I could go out and live in a space colony, turning above the earth.

Heck, we haven't even gotten to the Jetsons. Think about it, the sixties showed the future would be clean and bright. The earth would be greener (Though in the Jetsons they did have to jack up the apartments to get out of the smog below). Other visions of the future showed wondrous gadgets and TV's everywhere. We're close to that last one, but it seems soon the number of cameras is going to out number the number of monitors available.

The one thing we didn't see coming was computers and the internet. Wow what a difference. It' changed our lives more than the dawn of television changed our parents. We didn't get picture phones, but we got ICQ.

It seems that cars have changed the least. Sure, there's a larger range of sizes and shapes, but when it comes down to it, it's the same engine, just refined slightly. when you think that computers go billions of times faster than they did 40 years ago, how come a car only averages 2 or 3 times the gas milage they did back then? Now that the heat is on, it will be fascinating to see if we get some real change in the next 10-15 years as oil levels start getting scarcer.

Where's that kitchen of tomorrow? The one that delivers a fully prepared meal at the touch of a button? I've got plenty of gadgets, but I still have to pop something in the microwave for the closest to that experience. they tried to convince us we'd be eating pills for all our dietary needs, and for that we've come somewhat close, just ask Barry Bonds. Still, nothing satisfies like tearing into a good steak. Remember when Italian was and ethnic food or Chun King in a can was considered Chinese? now it's passe with more Americans eating Thai, Brazilian, and Middle easter cuisine, we've come a long way towards globalization.

We have seen revolutions in communications technology. Certainly not the things they seemed to expect, with suddenly media is in the hands of everyone. anyone can be published, or produce audio and video and have easy distribution. It's a revolution that may not do in big media, but it's definitely making them re-think how to work in this new world. where a tragedy like we saw yesterday in Minneapolis might have only been covered by journalists rushing to find eyewitnesses, now eyewitnesses can upload their own stories, pictures and video right after the event. It's become necessary to have the people become the fourth estate when they paid journalist are increasingly hampered by ratings, sponsors and corporate ownership.

The personal communications revolution has changed how we communicate to others, over long distances. Who would have thought that typing would still be a useful skill now, and that more kids type away at tiny keyboards on a cell phone than actually make calls on it. Cell Phones are the Star Trek communicators, and now they are getting closer to tricorders with the internet and news and games on them. we used to think portable TV just had a small cathode-ray tube and an antenna, but now it's a wireless connection and a color flat screen and isn't reliant on what the broadcast networks have put on the air.

Still, we haven't completely gotten rid of books, but we're getting closer to ditching music CDs. We use more oil and electricity than we did 40 years ago as there are more electronics and cars out there, but there's also more plastics and more junk.

We've had some of the dumbest, least innovative people running the country. Again, when you think that we've gotten through the civil rights mess, and tried to provide for all so many years back, why do we still have problems with inequality and poverty. why can't we at least agree to provide healthcare for every child? Why can't we work towards a better environment and better schools and better society? We've gone backwards in government as we've seen to many politicians cut corners, and reduce taxes and spending on the wrong things. Once the grand design of the interstate highway system was completed, suddenly, except for pork projects for legislators, we stopped providing proper funding to keep it up. All over the country our infrastructure is getting ready to fall apart, and no one wants to find the funding to do anything about it.

We pay politicians too much money for them to do a half-asses job where they won't make the tough calls to get things right because their campaigning for their next election more than they are actually being the people's representative. the system is broken, but the people who can fix it are the ones who would never do it.

Then it all comes back to the space program. Underfunded. Without leadership. Falling apart. The goal for people wasn't just to beat the Soviets to the moon, it was to find the future. The fifties and sixties seemed to embody the hope that it would all be there for us. All in beautiful gleaming whiteness. We never seemed closer to utopia.

Something changed. Even our views of the future got darker, dimmer. We haven't reached Blade runner or Mad Max, but we still seem tethered to this planet, and it seems to be darker and grittier each time we turn around. How do we get back there? Will a new generation stand up and try to fight for all of us, or will we keep sinking down to watching Lindsey Loahn's latest mistake and laughing?

It's been a wild ride so far, and who knows what's in store for us, but we certainly need something new. we need to give up the impediments that have sent us hurtling backwards for the last 20 or 30 years. It's time to solve things, and beat AIDS and cancer. It's time to make manufacturing more eco friendly, including the car. It's time to finally fund research into new fuels and more energy efficient gadgets. It's time to fund healthcare and social security for the next generations. It can be done, but not with this group of idiots. that goes for both government and the large corporate weasels, more concerned with bottom line and CEO pay than actually doing something for mankind.

A couple of years ago, President Bush said he wanted to send a manned mission to Mars by 2020. People laughed. It's not that the thing can't be done. Sure, there's kinks to be worked out, but we really could do it. It was the fact that it was just empty promises. It was never going to be funded. It was never going to happen. It was to try to build a new space race between the US and China. Once again, it's not about the future. The future has been sold off for a giant pissing contest.

I want the future back. The one we were promised watching Jason of Space Command and re-runs of Star Trek. It's only right.

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