The Trials and Tribulations of the not-so-New Bear Icon

You know, the future hasn't been all it was cracked up to be.

I was hearing someone talk about the space race earlier today and they said, "You know, our generation was promised this, they were promised to be the first generation out in space." We'll it didn't happen.

I know, it's one of those "where are the flying cars?" kind of things, but it's true. When I was born, in the sixties, the view of the future was bright and bold and the world's problems would be solved. Wasn't there some Age of Aquarius that was supposed to happen?

We still have war, and famine, and disease. somewhere along the way the things like "The Great Society" turned into failed government policies and used by those who look more for handouts than hand up and all that claptrap. Somewhere between then and now, our society changed from thinking about the whole of mankind to just thinking about ourselves.

That space race ended when we, the Americans, won. Did we really have the vision to actually do something further than just going to the moon? After we got there, we sent a couple of other LEMs there to collect a few rocks and drive around the golf cart, then we left it for good. Space became just another place to haul cargo to, not the bold new frontier. I remember watching television wondering if I could go out and live in a space colony, turning above the earth.

Heck, we haven't even gotten to the Jetsons. Think about it, the sixties showed the future would be clean and bright. The earth would be greener (Though in the Jetsons they did have to jack up the apartments to get out of the smog below). Other visions of the future showed wondrous gadgets and TV's everywhere. We're close to that last one, but it seems soon the number of cameras is going to out number the number of monitors available.

The one thing we didn't see coming was computers and the internet. Wow what a difference. It' changed our lives more than the dawn of television changed our parents. We didn't get picture phones, but we got ICQ.

It seems that cars have changed the least. Sure, there's a larger range of sizes and shapes, but when it comes down to it, it's the same engine, just refined slightly. when you think that computers go billions of times faster than they did 40 years ago, how come a car only averages 2 or 3 times the gas milage they did back then? Now that the heat is on, it will be fascinating to see if we get some real change in the next 10-15 years as oil levels start getting scarcer.

Where's that kitchen of tomorrow? The one that delivers a fully prepared meal at the touch of a button? I've got plenty of gadgets, but I still have to pop something in the microwave for the closest to that experience. they tried to convince us we'd be eating pills for all our dietary needs, and for that we've come somewhat close, just ask Barry Bonds. Still, nothing satisfies like tearing into a good steak. Remember when Italian was and ethnic food or Chun King in a can was considered Chinese? now it's passe with more Americans eating Thai, Brazilian, and Middle easter cuisine, we've come a long way towards globalization.

We have seen revolutions in communications technology. Certainly not the things they seemed to expect, with suddenly media is in the hands of everyone. anyone can be published, or produce audio and video and have easy distribution. It's a revolution that may not do in big media, but it's definitely making them re-think how to work in this new world. where a tragedy like we saw yesterday in Minneapolis might have only been covered by journalists rushing to find eyewitnesses, now eyewitnesses can upload their own stories, pictures and video right after the event. It's become necessary to have the people become the fourth estate when they paid journalist are increasingly hampered by ratings, sponsors and corporate ownership.

The personal communications revolution has changed how we communicate to others, over long distances. Who would have thought that typing would still be a useful skill now, and that more kids type away at tiny keyboards on a cell phone than actually make calls on it. Cell Phones are the Star Trek communicators, and now they are getting closer to tricorders with the internet and news and games on them. we used to think portable TV just had a small cathode-ray tube and an antenna, but now it's a wireless connection and a color flat screen and isn't reliant on what the broadcast networks have put on the air.

Still, we haven't completely gotten rid of books, but we're getting closer to ditching music CDs. We use more oil and electricity than we did 40 years ago as there are more electronics and cars out there, but there's also more plastics and more junk.

We've had some of the dumbest, least innovative people running the country. Again, when you think that we've gotten through the civil rights mess, and tried to provide for all so many years back, why do we still have problems with inequality and poverty. why can't we at least agree to provide healthcare for every child? Why can't we work towards a better environment and better schools and better society? We've gone backwards in government as we've seen to many politicians cut corners, and reduce taxes and spending on the wrong things. Once the grand design of the interstate highway system was completed, suddenly, except for pork projects for legislators, we stopped providing proper funding to keep it up. All over the country our infrastructure is getting ready to fall apart, and no one wants to find the funding to do anything about it.

We pay politicians too much money for them to do a half-asses job where they won't make the tough calls to get things right because their campaigning for their next election more than they are actually being the people's representative. the system is broken, but the people who can fix it are the ones who would never do it.

Then it all comes back to the space program. Underfunded. Without leadership. Falling apart. The goal for people wasn't just to beat the Soviets to the moon, it was to find the future. The fifties and sixties seemed to embody the hope that it would all be there for us. All in beautiful gleaming whiteness. We never seemed closer to utopia.

Something changed. Even our views of the future got darker, dimmer. We haven't reached Blade runner or Mad Max, but we still seem tethered to this planet, and it seems to be darker and grittier each time we turn around. How do we get back there? Will a new generation stand up and try to fight for all of us, or will we keep sinking down to watching Lindsey Loahn's latest mistake and laughing?

It's been a wild ride so far, and who knows what's in store for us, but we certainly need something new. we need to give up the impediments that have sent us hurtling backwards for the last 20 or 30 years. It's time to solve things, and beat AIDS and cancer. It's time to make manufacturing more eco friendly, including the car. It's time to finally fund research into new fuels and more energy efficient gadgets. It's time to fund healthcare and social security for the next generations. It can be done, but not with this group of idiots. that goes for both government and the large corporate weasels, more concerned with bottom line and CEO pay than actually doing something for mankind.

A couple of years ago, President Bush said he wanted to send a manned mission to Mars by 2020. People laughed. It's not that the thing can't be done. Sure, there's kinks to be worked out, but we really could do it. It was the fact that it was just empty promises. It was never going to be funded. It was never going to happen. It was to try to build a new space race between the US and China. Once again, it's not about the future. The future has been sold off for a giant pissing contest.

I want the future back. The one we were promised watching Jason of Space Command and re-runs of Star Trek. It's only right.

I’m listening to the new Dixie Chicks album, Taking the Long Way this morning as I’m here at work. It’s a really great album. Of course I was influenced into buying it because of the Chick’s political statements, and sort of “voting” with my purchase, but it really is a worthy album that won’t get any attention or praise from the mainstream country crowd.

There’s a lot of themes about loss on this album, loss of friends and support that stem from the choices one’s made. Of course there are many parallels that one could see to the Chick’s current situation, and I guess that’s good, write what you know as they say. Still, nothing is “hit you over the head” autobiographical, no “Ballad of Natalie Maines” though there is a anti-war song. Certainly the sound is a little less country, and more in tune with a general audience, as they know they’ll have to get sales from a more diverse crowd than that of your redneck crowd.

I know the Houston and Dallas stations (mostly Clear Channel controlled) have refused to play any Dixie Chicks music, but leave it to Austin to buck the trend. Give ‘em a few years, when this administration goes away, and people will likely forget.

Yes, I do feel that Natalie Maines’ statement that she takes back any apologies not only is for her sensibilities, but also to sell records, as it’s getting less risky to criticize the president these days.

I wish they were playing Austin City Limits Festival this fall. I’m also listening to Gomez’s How We Operate, and they are playing ACL, so that makes me happy!

Otherwise, I’m thinking about the fact that this was my last week as a leaseholder for my apartment in Houston. Although I turned in my keys back in February, I still had an actual lease, and rent payments until this month. Now it seems more that I don’t have a home there anymore, but it still feels like home, even though I have a great home here in Dallas.

Last night I was getting gas and a guy came up to me and asked me for some change. Normally I don’t give these guys money. It’s more of a thing that I don’t trust panhandlers, and think that there’s better ways for these folks to get help than panhandling.

Now this guy did seem to have his family, and a truck that, from what he said, lost a fan belt, so it was a bit of a different situation. Still, it wasn’t until he said, “I’m from Houston, and we’re just trying to get home,” did I finally decide to give up the two dollars I had in my pocket.

Of course, I rarely carry more than a couple of dollars in my pocket anymore, as I’m a firm believer in the debit card, but that’s just a little tangent.

I guess I still try to keep in touch with Houston a little bit, checking the Chronicle’s online website for news more than I check for news about Dallas. Of course I need my Astros updates, and it doesn’t hurt that the Chron has all of their comics available on line (except for Sundays).

I still send emails back and forth with my friend Hans, just like I used to in my old job, but now he’s often telling me about what’s going on in the city, or with the fraternity. I tend to tell him of my troubles in playing softball. I also get a few emails from my old team, telling me who else has left, or that someone has been promoted to fill the loss. I also missed watching The Amazing Race with Jerry this year. Go hippies!

I need to get back there soon and go see an Astros game, but now I’ll have to get a hotel room, or go stay with my parent’s in Conroe. I guess the bonus there is that I would get to sleep on the bed that was in my apartment. The negative is that that mattress probably should have been thrown out five years ago.

Perhaps it would be a little different had I moved farther away, like Chicago or Seattle or Boston, where the culture is different, as well as the seasons and the stores and restaurants. Dallas is still Texas, and the differences are minor. Still, I guess the homesickness would be more magnified, but there may have been more excitement, too. Some days I feel I just moved down the street.

I guess I’m hoping to carry on TV night because it’s a great way to have friends around. I’ve noticed that most of the people we hang around with are people Chris or Matty introduced me to, and while that’s not a negative thing, it’s not like I’ve exactly been making my own connections here. Then again I was mostly a loaner in Houston, too, so I guess it is good to have some one to introduce me to people, as I won’t normally do it on my own.

It’s interesting having someone else at home with you all the time. After living on my own for a few years, it’s nice to have someone to talk to, but also you have to change your mindset where it’s not all about you. Sometimes I have to think, can I watch this program, since Chris wants to see it too, or should I drink the last of the milk since Chris will probably want some for his cereal.

I find I still think like a bachelor at times, though. I haven’t learned how to grocery shop for anyone but myself (well, the fact that we’ve been eating out a lot hasn’t helped), nor have I been able to work on doing the laundry together, worried that I’ll mess something of his up, or won’t know where to put something away. I still can’t fold socks like he does. Still, I often wait for him to come home to go out to eat, and I’d rather eat with him than eat alone.

I guess I just need to keep easing into my new situation. It’s very different from anything I’ve ever done, so it more a reaction to change that makes me think about the old apartment. I miss it because it was a really nice apartment, with a nice view and decent location. Luckily Chris’ house is also well located to about everything but our jobs. It’s been a while since I’ve had a commute like this! What a waste of time!

Well, times up here at the old factory, so I guess I’ll be heading back home to enjoy the Memorial Day weekend. Enough of this rumination! There’s a pool party going on this afternoon, so I need to get in a good state of mind. I also need to decide how willing I am to pull off my shirt today, as I have a large bruise on the side of my gut from a botched Byetta (medicine) injection from a few days ago. Not that I’m self conscious, or anything!

✷I'm bored, but can't seem to channel the energy, or creativity to break out of it and do something. I guess I rely too much on the television to fill time, but in early January, nothing is on. I spent a few minutes actually watching some strange program on the Travel Channel where television star whore Jack Osborne tried (and succeeded) in losing weight by attempting several extreme sports. I guess this was better viewing than the continual slow reveal of Congressional corruption through fund-raising and lobbying, or the odd thought that God was madder at PM Arel Sharon for trying to create peace in the region than he would be at those who would cause instability and pain. Instead, it's the spoiled child of a aging rocker able to run around the world and get fit. Meanwhile, I eat my Whataburger.

✷Chris was talking about the possibility of getting a tattoo at some time in the future, if he ever finds that holy grail of designs. I don't know if I'm really wanting to do the same, ever. I thought about getting something with my fraternity's letters and the Animaniacs back in the early nineties, but now I'm glad I didn't do it. It's not that I don't love the frat, or Yakko, Wakko and the Warner sister, Dot, but it's not quite as red-hot as it was back then. Generally I'm not turned on by tattoos, and if there's too much, they can be a turn off. I guess this is another case of, if it doesn't excite me, why would I want to emulate it? Now piercing - that's a whole different thing. I find a few piercings very appealing, especially nipple rings and PA's, but I'm way too timid to get them myself. I'm pretty anti-pain. So I guess my body will stay whole and unadorned, for now.

✷I've picked up a few new "friends" for my reading here on LJ, and a couple of them are writers. good writers making a living of it. They are also branching out into other media, radio and television appearances because of their work in writing for magazines, books and online. I have never meet them, but I have that 3 degrees of gay separation thing going on. I'm watching their career with interest, because I want it. I wish that I could find a way to follow a similar career. Of course, it probably helps that they live in LA, but that's not where they got their start - from what I know so far.

As you can guess, it's another case of, why didn't I do that? I guess I spend too much time and effort on wondering why i don't have that life, instead of trying to look for opportunities. Still, if things go as I'm trying to plan them, I may be more concerned with having continuing employment, when planning a move, than trying to take a leap into a unknown realm.

I want to make 2006 a year that I take more risks, but now I just need to focus in and really look at what I can do, and how to implement those changes. I need to know what constitutes risk, and what is just plain crazy. Currently, I'm stuck in a rut.

Oh, and I want more sex in 2006, too. Just so you know.