For the Jury

[eggwards]

Maybe it's bear-run mentality. It's gotten into my brain in such a short amount of time.

Maybe there's just something to the fact that our lives aren't all about sex, but yet we're identified by our attraction more than other people.
Openness leads to the fact that attraction is there, but yet acting on it is completely up to you. You have the power.

Is it wrong that I might work sexual attraction into a model of friendship? Then again, I might not.

I find myself in the awkward spot of not necessarily defining a person by my attraction to them, but certainly creating a first impression that way. How do they look? Does that first glance cause a stirring somewhere lower? Am I a lower person for starting at that base level?

Will you judge me lower for starting there?

Comments

[dakoopst.livejournal.com]

Will you judge me lower for starting there?
No lower than I judge myself.

I think gay culture (hell, ALL culture) suffers from this a great deal of the time, but in different expressions.

There's something interesting about the interaction between societal expectation that most of a person's closest friends will be of the same gender and the fact that that's the gender one finds sexually attractive. It certainly complicates things; straight men often have the same sex-leaning difficulties in friendships with women, but without the gender-expectation thing.

I would say just be aware of it, and fight it if you feel it's out of hand. Other than that, don't spend too much time beating yourself; as long as you can still become friends with someone you don't find attractive, or you can see through someone's physical attraction to see the asshole they really are, you're doing fine.

BTW..I wrote a post on this exact topic a while back, but it would take me a while to locate it...and I'm notoriously lazy. ;)

[eggwards.livejournal.com]

Yes, I recall you making mention of this, and I think there was another breakout of "why are bears always trying to sleep around with each other" then, too. I guess the debate will never be over.

My problem is, I never seem to be able to pick up on the signals, when it the right time, when it's the wrong time, and when to just stay the hell away, so I never know what's appropriate, so I either make the wrong move, and leave with my tail between my legs, or don't make a move and feel frustrated.

And to think I spent 4 hours last night trying to write that - and couldn't - and there it is in a few minutes of a response. Sheesh.