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Goodbye To All Of That
Dec. 31st, 2008 08:51 amI think I'm ready for this year to end. 2008 was certainly full up ups and downs and many changes.
2008 was the first year where I attended more funerals than weddings, but yet I had a wedding of my own. I did the east-coast west coast thing again ending up at Disneyland and New York City in my travels. I met new people and shied away from them at parties as usual. I got a new job and then had to tell people how much their investments had lost as the stock market went down, down down.
It was another year with my fantastic husband, and the first year I could truly call him that.
It was a year where we elected a new leader, and we are just waiting for him to take office, but it was tempered by the fact that bigotry remains a party of this country.
The first half of the year was much better than the second half. I think most of us will be ready to move on.
With that said, here's some things I hope won't make it into 2009:
Novelty Shoe Fashions (aka Uggs and Crocs)
High Gas Prices
So-called tolerant preachers
Hannah Montana
Alaska
Magic Underpants
Israeli-Palistinian Conflicts & War in general
Cancelation of good shows (or at least better than the normal crap)
The phrase "Where's MY bailout?"
Things we need more of in 2009:
More marriages for my friends
More facial hair
More jobs
More friends
More good times
More calm nerves
More progress
More love
2008 was the first year where I attended more funerals than weddings, but yet I had a wedding of my own. I did the east-coast west coast thing again ending up at Disneyland and New York City in my travels. I met new people and shied away from them at parties as usual. I got a new job and then had to tell people how much their investments had lost as the stock market went down, down down.
It was another year with my fantastic husband, and the first year I could truly call him that.
It was a year where we elected a new leader, and we are just waiting for him to take office, but it was tempered by the fact that bigotry remains a party of this country.
The first half of the year was much better than the second half. I think most of us will be ready to move on.
With that said, here's some things I hope won't make it into 2009:
Novelty Shoe Fashions (aka Uggs and Crocs)
High Gas Prices
So-called tolerant preachers
Hannah Montana
Alaska
Magic Underpants
Israeli-Palistinian Conflicts & War in general
Cancelation of good shows (or at least better than the normal crap)
The phrase "Where's MY bailout?"
Things we need more of in 2009:
More marriages for my friends
More facial hair
More jobs
More friends
More good times
More calm nerves
More progress
More love
Ring It Up
Dec. 30th, 2008 09:13 amChristmas was a quiet affair here. I never did get totally in the spirit and neither Chris nor I were really wanting to spend a lot on each other. Chris also went out to California for a few days to be with his family. He returned on Christmas Day and I cooked up a big pot of chili for the two of us. I think this kicks off our attempt to cook more for ourselves and try to save some money.
In the saving money category we went out to the mall Sunday, and I think people have decided to stay away, which was good. There's only one store in our local mall that carries my size, and that's Dillards. Despite being told that retailers have slashed prices to try to get people to buy, Dillards didn't seem to follow the trend, at least not for the big boys sizes. Chris was looking for a new coat and didn't quite find what he wanted. Macys selection was terrible and for some reason they don't have the big-boy love at all. What's up with that?
One thing we did finally do was buy our wedding bands. We had made some attempts to check out some stores, but apparently trying to buy jewelry at retail stores is just a giant rip-off. We went to Robbins Bros., a specialist on wedding rings here in town and totally felt that we were being sold a car. Would you like floormats with your rings? That will be an extra charge of several hundred dollars. The salesman there wanted to give us drinks and sell us something a lot more than what we were expecting. It was ridiculous.
Let's face it, wedding bands shouldn't cost as much as women's rings with diamonds and all. It's a symbol, not necessarily an investment. Right now I don't have the money for a big investment and I don't want to go into debt. If we want something more extravagant several years from now, we can do that later. I personally want to get out of debt, and maybe look at things like a house. Jewelry isn't my main worry.
Well, we finally found a ring we liked that was made of tungsten. It's great, meets my requirement of being inexpensive, and is what we wanted in looks and color, etc. It will be nice to have them before the state of California decides whether we stay married, officially or not.
Work has been interesting these last few weeks. Call volume has quieted a bit, but I had to work Saturday and it was quite busy. I know the next few weeks will be very busy, especially as the new statements come out and people learn that they lost a lot over the last few weeks.
Work has already started reducing our lunches from an hour to thirty minutes, which really makes me mad. I really do need that time to decompress. I'd rather come to work earlier, or stay later than have my lunch cut short.
I've been watching a little more football lately, with the bowls and the NFL playoffs coming. I'm glad the at Cowboys are out of the playoffs because I think their owner, Jerry Jones is an idiot and needs to be slapped in the face and told he doesn't know what he is doing. The man spends a lot of money on talented people, but doesn't understand that they are all cancers to team unity and success. The man gets what he deserves. I wish he would sell the team - a wish I've had since he bought the team, but not one I'm likely to see.
Otherwise in the small, means nothing bowl games, I'm rooting for the Rice Owls tonight in the Texas Bowl. The Owls have been underdogs for years. They have always been the smart school in a league that was too strong for them. This year they almost won the conference and they beat my Alma Mater for the Bayou Bucket.
Speaking of the alma Mater, the Houston Cougars play Air Force in the Armed Forces Bowl tomorrow. I'm rooting for Air Force. I think UH puts far to much money and emphasis on the football program, a program that always loses money. The school would do better, and be more competitive if they moved down to Div II A, but no. They must keep going on playing Div IA and being a middle of the pack team in an awful conference. The School sent out an email begging alumni to attend this game as the school can lose money if the tickets aren't sold. In the same email they said that UH would be looking for it's first bowl game win in 28 years - not a good way to sell the team!
i think the end of the year has sent me into an introspective mood.
In the saving money category we went out to the mall Sunday, and I think people have decided to stay away, which was good. There's only one store in our local mall that carries my size, and that's Dillards. Despite being told that retailers have slashed prices to try to get people to buy, Dillards didn't seem to follow the trend, at least not for the big boys sizes. Chris was looking for a new coat and didn't quite find what he wanted. Macys selection was terrible and for some reason they don't have the big-boy love at all. What's up with that?
One thing we did finally do was buy our wedding bands. We had made some attempts to check out some stores, but apparently trying to buy jewelry at retail stores is just a giant rip-off. We went to Robbins Bros., a specialist on wedding rings here in town and totally felt that we were being sold a car. Would you like floormats with your rings? That will be an extra charge of several hundred dollars. The salesman there wanted to give us drinks and sell us something a lot more than what we were expecting. It was ridiculous.
Let's face it, wedding bands shouldn't cost as much as women's rings with diamonds and all. It's a symbol, not necessarily an investment. Right now I don't have the money for a big investment and I don't want to go into debt. If we want something more extravagant several years from now, we can do that later. I personally want to get out of debt, and maybe look at things like a house. Jewelry isn't my main worry.
Well, we finally found a ring we liked that was made of tungsten. It's great, meets my requirement of being inexpensive, and is what we wanted in looks and color, etc. It will be nice to have them before the state of California decides whether we stay married, officially or not.
Work has been interesting these last few weeks. Call volume has quieted a bit, but I had to work Saturday and it was quite busy. I know the next few weeks will be very busy, especially as the new statements come out and people learn that they lost a lot over the last few weeks.
Work has already started reducing our lunches from an hour to thirty minutes, which really makes me mad. I really do need that time to decompress. I'd rather come to work earlier, or stay later than have my lunch cut short.
I've been watching a little more football lately, with the bowls and the NFL playoffs coming. I'm glad the at Cowboys are out of the playoffs because I think their owner, Jerry Jones is an idiot and needs to be slapped in the face and told he doesn't know what he is doing. The man spends a lot of money on talented people, but doesn't understand that they are all cancers to team unity and success. The man gets what he deserves. I wish he would sell the team - a wish I've had since he bought the team, but not one I'm likely to see.
Otherwise in the small, means nothing bowl games, I'm rooting for the Rice Owls tonight in the Texas Bowl. The Owls have been underdogs for years. They have always been the smart school in a league that was too strong for them. This year they almost won the conference and they beat my Alma Mater for the Bayou Bucket.
Speaking of the alma Mater, the Houston Cougars play Air Force in the Armed Forces Bowl tomorrow. I'm rooting for Air Force. I think UH puts far to much money and emphasis on the football program, a program that always loses money. The school would do better, and be more competitive if they moved down to Div II A, but no. They must keep going on playing Div IA and being a middle of the pack team in an awful conference. The School sent out an email begging alumni to attend this game as the school can lose money if the tickets aren't sold. In the same email they said that UH would be looking for it's first bowl game win in 28 years - not a good way to sell the team!
i think the end of the year has sent me into an introspective mood.
Propped Up
Nov. 5th, 2008 10:59 amI have some thoughts about the presidential election, but I’m going to save those thoughts for later. Right now I’m thinking about something a little more personal.
As a newly married man I’m more than upset about the loss of marriage equality in California. I’m sad that others won’t be able to experience the excitement that I did a few days ago – at least not for a few more years. Sadly, it was so close that you could almost taste victory. I don’t know what more could be done. I gave money to the cause, but in the end I feel very frustrated that I couldn’t have a say in the decision.
When we got to California last week Chris and I were constantly being told by people, friends and family that they were voting against Prop 8. It actually became funny as people at the reception for Chris’ father continued to tell us of their vote whenever it was said that we had just gotten married. It was a knee jerk reaction. I guess it’s similar to saying you are voting for Obama because you aren’t racist. I knew it wasn’t intended that way, but it was an odd way to show support for us as a couple. Surely no straight couple ever has to be told that the congratulator is voting against a bond issue or abortion notification or any other issue when announcing that they are newlyweds.
Again, no love lost with Chris’ family, I know they were being supportive, it was just odd.
The moment we got married it felt odd. There were lots of talk about how it was only applicable in certain states, and we joked about being in a quasi-legal status. I told my work and they are still researching whether I need to report the marriage or not. In Texas it’s as if it never mattered. Chris and I already talked about getting a lawyer and setting up several of the legal protections that are natural in California for us, but you can’t get all of the rights of marriage.
Funny, I didn’t used to care about this stuff. Sure, I want the right to get married, but I wasn’t too worried about the legal side of it, more the equality. Now with the difficulties I see Chris’ mother going through to try to reorganize finances and ownership and everything that had been in her husband’s name, and I realize how much harder it will be for Chris and myself should something happen, it seems to bring the point home.
What’s upsetting about the passage of Prop 8 is that all the same-sex marriages like mine now end up in some sort of twilight zone of existence. Sure, they exist, and at this point and at this moment the marriages aren’t being revoked, or converted to domestic partnerships (though I suspect there will be a challenge to do so), but at this point they will always be seen as an anomaly, or a curiosity. In the public eye they won’t be equal to a “traditional marriage.”
So now Chris and I and many others end up with a second class marriage. One that may be recognized in Massachusetts and Connecticut and maybe New York, but may or may not be recognized in the state it originated in. What a strange place to be in.
Now I’m sure that the people who congratulated us last weekend did go out and vote no on 8, and the millions of others who did were sincere. It was obviously the easier thing to vote yes and say that it didn’t affect you. Certainly the Yes on 8 people did all they could to try to make you feel that you weren’t an asshole if you voted for the measure, but I can’t help feeling that these people were strictly voting against us. It makes me think we’ve come a long way to come so close, but there are still miles to go. Hopefully the new federal administration will be able to pass ENDA. We need those protections.
(Oh, and thanks for all of the congratulations from all of you. I haven’t responded, probably because of the looming Prop 8 vote. I will rectify that soon.)
Chris’ family wants us to have a real reception, since the wedding was done so quickly and under such odd circumstances. It is nice to feel welcome in Chris' family and amongst their freinds. Chris’ mom is insisting on a honeymoon. I guess we’ll have to work on those. I'm not sure if we would have a reception here in Texas, in California or somewhere else
Chris and I talked on the phone last night (he’s still in Lake County with his mom) and said we need to look at rings when we get home since everything has happened so fast. Despite the crazy legal issues, and continued pressure from the majority of people in this country, I think we will always see ourselves as married from now on. Thanks California, for that.
As a newly married man I’m more than upset about the loss of marriage equality in California. I’m sad that others won’t be able to experience the excitement that I did a few days ago – at least not for a few more years. Sadly, it was so close that you could almost taste victory. I don’t know what more could be done. I gave money to the cause, but in the end I feel very frustrated that I couldn’t have a say in the decision.
When we got to California last week Chris and I were constantly being told by people, friends and family that they were voting against Prop 8. It actually became funny as people at the reception for Chris’ father continued to tell us of their vote whenever it was said that we had just gotten married. It was a knee jerk reaction. I guess it’s similar to saying you are voting for Obama because you aren’t racist. I knew it wasn’t intended that way, but it was an odd way to show support for us as a couple. Surely no straight couple ever has to be told that the congratulator is voting against a bond issue or abortion notification or any other issue when announcing that they are newlyweds.
Again, no love lost with Chris’ family, I know they were being supportive, it was just odd.
The moment we got married it felt odd. There were lots of talk about how it was only applicable in certain states, and we joked about being in a quasi-legal status. I told my work and they are still researching whether I need to report the marriage or not. In Texas it’s as if it never mattered. Chris and I already talked about getting a lawyer and setting up several of the legal protections that are natural in California for us, but you can’t get all of the rights of marriage.
Funny, I didn’t used to care about this stuff. Sure, I want the right to get married, but I wasn’t too worried about the legal side of it, more the equality. Now with the difficulties I see Chris’ mother going through to try to reorganize finances and ownership and everything that had been in her husband’s name, and I realize how much harder it will be for Chris and myself should something happen, it seems to bring the point home.
What’s upsetting about the passage of Prop 8 is that all the same-sex marriages like mine now end up in some sort of twilight zone of existence. Sure, they exist, and at this point and at this moment the marriages aren’t being revoked, or converted to domestic partnerships (though I suspect there will be a challenge to do so), but at this point they will always be seen as an anomaly, or a curiosity. In the public eye they won’t be equal to a “traditional marriage.”
So now Chris and I and many others end up with a second class marriage. One that may be recognized in Massachusetts and Connecticut and maybe New York, but may or may not be recognized in the state it originated in. What a strange place to be in.
Now I’m sure that the people who congratulated us last weekend did go out and vote no on 8, and the millions of others who did were sincere. It was obviously the easier thing to vote yes and say that it didn’t affect you. Certainly the Yes on 8 people did all they could to try to make you feel that you weren’t an asshole if you voted for the measure, but I can’t help feeling that these people were strictly voting against us. It makes me think we’ve come a long way to come so close, but there are still miles to go. Hopefully the new federal administration will be able to pass ENDA. We need those protections.
(Oh, and thanks for all of the congratulations from all of you. I haven’t responded, probably because of the looming Prop 8 vote. I will rectify that soon.)
Chris’ family wants us to have a real reception, since the wedding was done so quickly and under such odd circumstances. It is nice to feel welcome in Chris' family and amongst their freinds. Chris’ mom is insisting on a honeymoon. I guess we’ll have to work on those. I'm not sure if we would have a reception here in Texas, in California or somewhere else
Chris and I talked on the phone last night (he’s still in Lake County with his mom) and said we need to look at rings when we get home since everything has happened so fast. Despite the crazy legal issues, and continued pressure from the majority of people in this country, I think we will always see ourselves as married from now on. Thanks California, for that.
