eggwards: (bearded Mike)
[personal profile] eggwards
I had to explain to Sean [livejournal.com profile] schnitz_mi, when he visited my apartment this past weekend, what was the yellow liquid that was on the outside balcony that stretches the length of the building, right in front of my, and everyone else's, front door.

Yep, that's dog piss.

All of that, and there is a good bit of it, is from the little, black toy poodle that lives...three doors down (see, even iTunes has a sense of humor as I write this-Loser by Three Doors Down). Every morning, and every evening his owner takes him for a walk. Our little...well, I don't know what sex our little Brillo pad of a dog is, marks his/her territory with a pissing vengeance the world has never seen before. It's all over, from one end to another, about ten apartment units.

I never actually catch the dog and owner, a stick-figure of a woman. Kate Moss-ish. They are out walking at times I never am. I've asked the front office to clean it up, and send her the bill, but to no avail. hell, these are the people who still haven't fixed the dryers in the front part of the complex, forcing us to all use the laundry rooms in the back. There's 400 different apartments here. Grr.

I'm debating on leaving the good old "anonymous note". Sure, it's a wuss move, but hey, what do I care? I have no reason to care, I'm just tired of tracking in dog urine on my shoes. It could go something like this:

Dear Kate Moss, or current resident,
Do you think that your little dog could actually find a tree or bush to piss on rather than flooding our balcony with his/her golden showers? please have some courtesy for the other residents who must walk through the warm glow of your little dog's waste in order to enter our homes.
Signed,
Concerned Residents Against Poodles


Why should I play hopscotch to get into my house?

Date: 2003-05-21 08:36 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] clauditorium.livejournal.com
Two things:
Definitely leave the anonymous note. It can't hurt, and the bitch (I'm not talking about the dog here) certainly deserves it.
There are certain laws landlords have to obey. There's a tenant commission you can bring your complaints to. Do it.

Date: 2003-05-22 06:07 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] eggwards.livejournal.com
Yes, there are certain things the complex must do, but I've noticed that the complex is definitely going downhill. I hope to get out of here soon!

Tenant Commission? This is an alien concept down here. This would work if it was a condo. Management companies rule the apartment universe.

"tenant commission"

Date: 2003-05-22 02:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] clauditorium.livejournal.com
Sorry, the problem was that I didn't have the correct wording; I meant to say what ultraboy said.

Date: 2003-05-21 08:46 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yclept.livejournal.com
Concerned Residents Against Poodles

That makes for a great abbreviation.

Date: 2003-05-22 06:09 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] eggwards.livejournal.com
The first rule about C.R.A.P. is don't talk about C.R.A.P.

Yeah, funny, but to point it out in the post would ruin the fun of it!

Date: 2003-05-21 11:13 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ex-ultraboy803.livejournal.com
Give the apartment complex a copy of a formal letter and ask them to sign one that you are keeping.
if after a week make one that says '2nd notice' and do the same thing.
AFter that you are free to bring it up as a violoation of health and public safety laws and could cause some serious fines for your complex.

Date: 2003-05-22 06:10 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] eggwards.livejournal.com
I think that's a great idea! Thanks Jai!

Vigilante Justice

Date: 2003-05-25 01:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] alphaschnitz.livejournal.com
Or you could just take a piss on her front door late at night...

*hands [livejournal.com profile] eggwards a couple gallons of water and a huge pot of freshly-cooked asparagus*

Re: Vigilante Justice

Date: 2003-05-26 11:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] eggwards.livejournal.com
Also a thought, certainly. I might need a little enouragement to be so bold, though!

Re: Vigilante Justice

Date: 2003-05-26 01:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] alphaschnitz.livejournal.com
Aaaah! EXcelllent!
VE have Vays of making you bold!

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