Those Two Guys Shopping In The IKEA Commercial

[eggwards]

So I'm now sitting here in my new super cushy office chair from IKEA. Sure, we went out to look at desks, but I ended up with a chair. It's much better than the wooden chair I had back at the apartment, or the piano bench I've been typing away from for the last two weeks.

When we got to IKEA yesterday, we went all over the store, spending most of our time looking at desks, but not really fining anything we liked. I could use a new desk for the computer, one that fits this room along with another one for Chris. Yeah, I know, matching desks are so damn cute. Still, part of it is trying to match the dark wood of the lawyer's bookcase we got from pajamas_johnson a few weeks ago. We also found a little wire shelving system for Chris that was much less expensive than the Elpha ones at the Container Store. We're both in need of some closet organization now with the closer quarters.

As we got to the checkout at IKEA, we chose the line with the cute straight guy that we had seen earlier (he was holding hands with his girlfriend). Thank goodness we did, since the family in front of them decided that they needed three different credit cards and a couple hundred dollars in cash to pay for their six hundred dollar purchase. That transaction took something like fifteen minutes. Unfortunately we were already trapped in the lane and couldn't go to another. By the time we were up, Chris just put the whole thing on his card, rather than have me pay for my chair separately. Now I owe him the money.

This is just one of those little nuances that I'm having to learn how to work with. While it's no problem to repay him (except that I need to do it electronically or in cash, since I haven't found my checks yet), it's more of the little give and take. Since he bough groceries last night as well, I'm also trying to decide how much I owe him there, too.

I know it's trivial, but of the many things I've never really shared with another person, finances is definitely one of them. The closest I've come is a roommate or two, and after rent and utilities, our obligations to each other were over. Now I have to start working to budget with Chris, and do more than just pay for every other meal we eat out.

For one thing, home upgrades. I'm already wanting to help him (or maybe push him) into getting a better stove and eventually a bathtub that I can actually take a bath in and not be freezing cold as most of my body is out of the water. I know, again, nothing important, or things I must have to live, but certainly nice things that I'd like to have one day. The problem is how to save for it, and making sure there's communication between us to make sure it's something we both want.

Communication is different when your not just visiting, but actually live here. I want to help out, but I don't always know when Chris is wanting the bathroom cleaned, or the floors vacuumed. On the flip side, I wanted to see how he emptied and filled the dishwasher, so I'd know how to do it his way, but he had already done it before I knew.

I guess it goes down to TV as well, not expecting that Chris would want to watch a television show, like say, Smallville, I was halfway through it before I heard that he wanted to see it. I guess that's the bad thing about assuming all he's want to see is Lost and Battlestar Gallactica. Now I just need to make sure he knows if I'm watching something more than just a Pink Panther cartoon or something.

It's just the little things that come up as I'm trying to get to know the everyday Chris, and he gets to know me. It's nothing too serious, and just a few minutes ago we were all huggy in the bed. Still, he goes to bed earlier than I, so I ended up snuggling past his bedtime. Still, when he goes to bed, I can write, or catch up on things.

I also have to be up earlier than he does, so I'm still trying to sort out how I can be quiet in the morning, and not wake him up. It's not easy, as it takes about four or five slaps of the snooze bar before I wake up.

I'm also recovering from Friday's workout, then Saturday's softball practice that really took a toll on out-of-shape me. Still, I may be a little bit of a slugger, but one that can't field. We'll see. I'm not convinced yet that I want to be a regular player on the team. I also got way to distracted by the red-headed teammate taking off his shirt. I'm not sure my head is in the game.

Comments

[sftekbear.livejournal.com]

Sounds like a little communication is in order.

My mom had a similar situation with her stepkids. She would always complain to me how they come over her house and she cooks dinner for them, and they never lift a finger to help clean up. The next I was visiting my mom and they came over, I observed that they never had the chance to help out because my mom jumps up from the table to start cleaning. It's not they they aren't courteous, it's just that they never grew up in an environment where the family cleaned up immediately after a meal was finished.

My point to ass this was that you just moved in to Chris' space. In order for both of you to develop a routine that works for both of you, you need to talk to him about what he expects from you and what you expect form him in terms of sharing space. Not talking about it and one or both of you trying to tailor your routine around what you perceive of the other may build up and cause hurt feelings.

[sftekbear.livejournal.com]

I so didn't proofread before I clicked Submit

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[eggwards.livejournal.com]

Yes, I agree to what you are saying, wholeheartedly. I think we're both guys who have a hard time talking about such issues, especially when they may be refering to restrictions or desires of the other party that may result in an argument. We'd rather hold back and only deal with the aftermath, should it happen. Still, it's not a healthy way to approach this, so I'm trying to figure out what conversations we should have.

Hopefully we'll get there sooner than later.

[jrjarrett.livejournal.com]

What he said. In spades. (hearts, clubs, and diamonds.)

[eggwards.livejournal.com]

Yepers. Perhaps There should be a list of what to talk about with your partner when you move in. I bet the lesbians know these things.