Getting Your Custard Out
Sep. 13th, 2004 10:18 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
eggwardsUgh. my legs hurt from all of the standing and *ahem* other activities of the weekend. I really need to build up some leg stamina.
Last night with the folks, and we went to Culver's. I had mentioned that I had been to one in Wisconsin and Mom asked me when I was in Wisconsin...uhm. I hadn't told them about that trip last year. In fact, they also don't know that I went to Tucson last January. It's not that I'm embarrassed about the trips so much, but I just really don't want to explain bear runs just yet. I have to admit that there's not ever a great way to talk about a bear run, now is there. No matter how hard you try, as soon as you mention "gay men" and "get-together" everything goes back to sex.
It might be true, but for the parents, we try harder to not have them think about gay sex. That I have a boyfriend is probably enough. I can see it in my Dad's eyes, when I say "Chris and I had a wonderful weekend together" I can tell he's thinking, "Gay guy I haven't met had sex with my son. Who's the woman?"
Of course I say "Chris and I had a wonderful weekend together", I think of hot, gay sex. I guess it's natural. (oh, and probably something good for dinner one night, but you know...)
Luckily, I know my parent's don't have sex anymore. Those embarrassing years are over.
I haven't explained the bear thing to my folks either. It's probably unnecessary, really. They still haven't made notice of the bear sticker on the car, and lord knows they probably aren't really that interested to know what gets my crank going, or who, or what happened over the weekend. There's things you just don't need to talk about over a scoop of frozen custard.
Does this make me embarrassed of what I've done? Is it an embarrassment to me that I have, and do express my sexuality? Perhaps I am a little worried about perception when I say a big, hairy man turns my head. It's not that I'm beating myself up over it, but it's not always for public consumption. How often do your straight friends tell you that they had a great night fucking? Well, yeah, the guys might.
Sex is still the big taboo. Even with the gains of the sexual revolution, we've seemed to put sex, sensuality, and attraction right back in the closet. Sure, as straight guy can tell you he thinks the Hooter's girl is hot, but what if he thinks Roseanne is actually what gets him off? Bears tell other bears about their love for John Goodman and Richard Karn, but do you remember how unsexily they have been portrayed on shows and movies? Too bad that they are actually closer to the american norm than any of the Queer Eye guys would like to tell you.
For so long in life, we're told that our likes are weird, first it's the whole gay thing, then the whole bear thing, and before you know it, a big chunk of the bear movement gets taken up by guys who still don't look like you! Dang!
Now I don't think I'll change my ways and start spilling the beans to my parents, but maybe I need to look at what keeps me being more open and honest about my sex life. Why must I speak around in so many circles? What pushes me to think that having a little fun, that isn't cheating, since it was pre-discussed with my partner, is something that should be hidden, or at best only hinted at, and added to the, "Gosh, am I a slut?" section of my brain.
It's probably the same instinct that makes it hard to tell someone that I like them...and perhaps want to have some fun. It's also a big thing about society, so geared toward monogamy, and being chaste and proper and frowning like a upset Margaret Hamilton if I were to have go beyond a glance at Shane Hammon. Let alone taking him downtown.
Oh well, I'm going to bed alone tonight anyway, after I head out to the store for some more milk. See society, I am pure!
Last night with the folks, and we went to Culver's. I had mentioned that I had been to one in Wisconsin and Mom asked me when I was in Wisconsin...uhm. I hadn't told them about that trip last year. In fact, they also don't know that I went to Tucson last January. It's not that I'm embarrassed about the trips so much, but I just really don't want to explain bear runs just yet. I have to admit that there's not ever a great way to talk about a bear run, now is there. No matter how hard you try, as soon as you mention "gay men" and "get-together" everything goes back to sex.
It might be true, but for the parents, we try harder to not have them think about gay sex. That I have a boyfriend is probably enough. I can see it in my Dad's eyes, when I say "Chris and I had a wonderful weekend together" I can tell he's thinking, "Gay guy I haven't met had sex with my son. Who's the woman?"
Of course I say "Chris and I had a wonderful weekend together", I think of hot, gay sex. I guess it's natural. (oh, and probably something good for dinner one night, but you know...)
Luckily, I know my parent's don't have sex anymore. Those embarrassing years are over.
I haven't explained the bear thing to my folks either. It's probably unnecessary, really. They still haven't made notice of the bear sticker on the car, and lord knows they probably aren't really that interested to know what gets my crank going, or who, or what happened over the weekend. There's things you just don't need to talk about over a scoop of frozen custard.
Does this make me embarrassed of what I've done? Is it an embarrassment to me that I have, and do express my sexuality? Perhaps I am a little worried about perception when I say a big, hairy man turns my head. It's not that I'm beating myself up over it, but it's not always for public consumption. How often do your straight friends tell you that they had a great night fucking? Well, yeah, the guys might.
Sex is still the big taboo. Even with the gains of the sexual revolution, we've seemed to put sex, sensuality, and attraction right back in the closet. Sure, as straight guy can tell you he thinks the Hooter's girl is hot, but what if he thinks Roseanne is actually what gets him off? Bears tell other bears about their love for John Goodman and Richard Karn, but do you remember how unsexily they have been portrayed on shows and movies? Too bad that they are actually closer to the american norm than any of the Queer Eye guys would like to tell you.
For so long in life, we're told that our likes are weird, first it's the whole gay thing, then the whole bear thing, and before you know it, a big chunk of the bear movement gets taken up by guys who still don't look like you! Dang!
Now I don't think I'll change my ways and start spilling the beans to my parents, but maybe I need to look at what keeps me being more open and honest about my sex life. Why must I speak around in so many circles? What pushes me to think that having a little fun, that isn't cheating, since it was pre-discussed with my partner, is something that should be hidden, or at best only hinted at, and added to the, "Gosh, am I a slut?" section of my brain.
It's probably the same instinct that makes it hard to tell someone that I like them...and perhaps want to have some fun. It's also a big thing about society, so geared toward monogamy, and being chaste and proper and frowning like a upset Margaret Hamilton if I were to have go beyond a glance at Shane Hammon. Let alone taking him downtown.
Oh well, I'm going to bed alone tonight anyway, after I head out to the store for some more milk. See society, I am pure!
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no subject
Date: 2004-09-14 02:34 am (UTC)Let's face it; it's estimated that half of all men have had a homosexual experience once in their lives. It seems that 70 percent deny it, but studies show....
And you have to wonder what half your dad falls into.
And then there are the recent studies regarding being faithfull in a marriage...
Of course, they were young and horny once. To some extent, I don't think the horny ever goes away.
When you reach their age, what will your sex life be like? I hope it's a good one!
But, if they don't talk about their sex life, you shouldn't talk about yours. You should talk about your life, just in the same way your sister talks about hers... and that may include love and suggest intimate times.
Interestingly enough, straight couples do talk about sex; not just the men, but the women talking about their men... if you ever want to roll on the floor laughing, talk to a woman after she's broken up with a man.
And of the more twink type of men... I do discuss bears and chubs with them and it's really no different than any other preferences; although some respond as if I'm into watersports... then I respond to them as if they're into fisting... but it's all in fun.