Questions of Science and Progress
Aug. 23rd, 2004 08:34 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
eggwardsFirst, Happy Birthday to Dave, ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
drmrdave, hope it's a good one!
The weekend was crazy, interesting, nerve-wracking, loving and about a hundred other things. Between bartrips, pool parties and other messes I think I saw about half of the gay population of Dallas sometime or another. I'll have to get to the other half sometime later.
The word "acceptance" kept coming up, time and time again, and I may go into it further this week. There was a lot of navel-gazing and reflection going on this weekend, from dealing with the doctor's office finding that I've gained weight instead of losing it, and that my knees a in much worse shape than I thought, to dealing with feelings of selfishness and self worth. Strangely, they do go together. I continued to deal with self-image and prudishness, when others were able to let go and, well, let's just say that I saw a lot of winky being flashed this weekend.
There were high spots, certainly running into Mike (nomadvak) at the Round Up, and continuing the Minnesota connection meeting Dan (musicbearmn) at one of the aforementioned, scantily-clad pool parties. It's always good to meet people, especially when you've read them for a while.
I was sad as I left last night, trying to clear away tears as I left Chris' doorstep. While it's true that this coming and going is getting to be taxing, I think we're both a little scared and unsure about the eventual move-in. Another issue to deal with, but right now, it still is just speculation. *sigh* As I was leaving, Jason (t8r) called and asked me if I was alright. I tried to put my best voice forward, but he could tell I was upset. He talked to me all the way past Corsicana.
Jason's got a sense that I've been unhappy as of late, and I guess it's true. The uncertainty and the changes this year have been tough, and I haven't always been my chipper self. Growing pains, I suppose. If 2003 was my big coming out year, and learning about the community, 2004 has been the year of internal change. My politics have changed, my outlook has changed, the way I see things has changed, and not always for the better. I guess it's just a realignment, and that's tough for my control-freak self to deal with.
Work calls, and it's going to be a tough week, as the product that my team was created for actually goes live next week. there's a ton of last minute finishes that need to be done that are going to keep me busy. hopefully tonight I'll get to come home on time, because getting in at 2 am this morning didn't give me a lot of sleep time. At least I didn't get a ticket.
drmrdave, hope it's a good one!The weekend was crazy, interesting, nerve-wracking, loving and about a hundred other things. Between bartrips, pool parties and other messes I think I saw about half of the gay population of Dallas sometime or another. I'll have to get to the other half sometime later.
The word "acceptance" kept coming up, time and time again, and I may go into it further this week. There was a lot of navel-gazing and reflection going on this weekend, from dealing with the doctor's office finding that I've gained weight instead of losing it, and that my knees a in much worse shape than I thought, to dealing with feelings of selfishness and self worth. Strangely, they do go together. I continued to deal with self-image and prudishness, when others were able to let go and, well, let's just say that I saw a lot of winky being flashed this weekend.
There were high spots, certainly running into Mike (
nomadvak) at the Round Up, and continuing the Minnesota connection meeting Dan (musicbearmn) at one of the aforementioned, scantily-clad pool parties. It's always good to meet people, especially when you've read them for a while.I was sad as I left last night, trying to clear away tears as I left Chris' doorstep. While it's true that this coming and going is getting to be taxing, I think we're both a little scared and unsure about the eventual move-in. Another issue to deal with, but right now, it still is just speculation. *sigh* As I was leaving, Jason (
t8r) called and asked me if I was alright. I tried to put my best voice forward, but he could tell I was upset. He talked to me all the way past Corsicana.Jason's got a sense that I've been unhappy as of late, and I guess it's true. The uncertainty and the changes this year have been tough, and I haven't always been my chipper self. Growing pains, I suppose. If 2003 was my big coming out year, and learning about the community, 2004 has been the year of internal change. My politics have changed, my outlook has changed, the way I see things has changed, and not always for the better. I guess it's just a realignment, and that's tough for my control-freak self to deal with.
Work calls, and it's going to be a tough week, as the product that my team was created for actually goes live next week. there's a ton of last minute finishes that need to be done that are going to keep me busy. hopefully tonight I'll get to come home on time, because getting in at 2 am this morning didn't give me a lot of sleep time. At least I didn't get a ticket.
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no subject
Date: 2004-08-23 06:38 am (UTC)I wouldn't have guessed.
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But, I am thinkin' 'bout ya and sending good vibes your way.
no subject
Date: 2004-08-23 08:34 pm (UTC)The prudishness is all about the factor that I won't drop trou at a pool party, in front of 40 people. Others will.
Smaller venues might differ.
no subject
Date: 2004-08-24 06:51 am (UTC)I get ya now.
Okay. You are a prude. (HAHAHAHAHA)
Seriously, though, I think everyone would be pleased to have your trou drop.
no subject
Date: 2004-08-23 07:56 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-08-23 08:37 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-08-23 10:20 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-08-23 08:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-08-23 12:06 pm (UTC)Secondly, seeing you two together was a lot of fun. It's so evident that you care deeply about each other. In time, the move will happen. The right job will open up. It will work. Just don't rush it. Everything in its season.....
**big hugs**
no subject
Date: 2004-08-23 08:45 pm (UTC)It was great meeting you. You made the pool party really good!
no subject
Date: 2004-08-23 01:46 pm (UTC)Just 'cause. :)
no subject
Date: 2004-08-23 08:40 pm (UTC)