Even If Things Get Heavy

[eggwards]

I continue to be a child in a man's body...an overgrown man in fact.

For a long time, I've been lamenting this fact, having trouble reconciling the fact that I get excited, like I did as a six-year old looking through the Sears Christmas Wish Book at the latest offerings, and making a list to give to Santa.

Then comes the disappointment when Santa doesn't bring you exactly what you want. I unfortunately find I still experience the same emotions, though the catalog has changed, greatly.

I keep expecting that somewhere the hormones will stop kicking in, and I'll be a mature man, making rational decisions, and not regretting my over-expectant hopes.

Of course I'd probably be mindlessly boring if it were to come to that. The endless beating up of my own ego would just be supplanted with a dull white noise blur. Sometimes emotions can be for the good.

"And we'll all float on ok"...Modest Mouse

Comments

[lfkbear.livejournal.com]

Pray that those mature-guy hormones never kick in. It's those feelings of youthful hope, over-expectant desires, and everything else that we equate with being childish that keeps us from being just like everyone else... useless and lifeless.

You and I should start chatting off-site. I read your journal everyday. Aside from truly enjoying your writing (you're quite gifted), I find that we often agree.

Hope you're day is going well... and that your feelings of disappointment fade soon.

xo

[eggwards.livejournal.com]

Thank You Larry!

We should chat more...I just know our schedules are a bit off, When i wake up, you've already been on the radio for an hour. when I get off of work, it's already 7 o'clock in NYC. And of course, work won't let me IM. (Boo work!)

I'll look for you on the weekend!