I'm loving Angels instead...

[eggwards]

I hope you'll all indulge me one more time here. It's been a wild day here in LJ land.

Randy, lostncove, posted some interesting thoughts, personal thoughts, that struck home, and I found the need to comment.

I really felt that I should include those thoughts in my own Journal:


You know I'm not a religious person. It's not that I discount the whole thing, or that I have a need to belittle others beliefs. It's more because I have never felt the pull of it, the need of it. If anything, my youthful experience {of the glory and boredom that is the Methodist Church} left me less spirtual than from when I started.

It's nights like this that make me wonder. I was IM'ed by Buzz just a few minutes after I read the email, and posted my feelings about the loss of furballmark, whom I never met. I'm afraid Buzz got the brunt of my feelings - which have already been on edge lately.

I said, "I was ready to post some more bad news from work (wages are frozen, no raise for me this year), and I got an e-mail from a friend of them {Christopher and Mark} no one I knew. I hadn't even kicked in LJ. I thought, oh, maybe there going to have a commitment ceremony or wedding... Well, I can't say that I ever knew him. But still, it's just so sad. I cried when I read the email. When something seems so right. Man. I couldn't believe. It makes you just want to go scream at God. Why!?"

It's times like these when you want to feel it. You want the reassurance of the divine. You need the comfort of a blanket of love to surround you. Just that little feeling from the cosmos that it will be alright, and you just don't understand-right now.

And lord knows I don't understand a thing right now.

Comments

[kev-bot.livejournal.com]

Whatever the divine plan is - if it is a plan and not random, and if it is divine - I don't think anyone understands it. I certainly don't. And I don't understand why Mark is gone - these type of things make no sense. The only thing to try to do is seek comfort within and without, to accept that death makes as little sense as life does, and try to press on.

I didn't mind taking the brunt, Mike; I just wish I'd had more time to talk.

Buzz