Pointing Out The Obvious, I Guess

[eggwards]

I've been meaning to get back to my Boston recap, but sometimes life just gets in the way.

Chris and I went out to Tin Star, one of our favorite places for dinner tonight. Since I've got a cold that's working overtime (love those post-flight colds, my ears are still stopped up), so we decided to forgo a bigger, fancier dinner for a time where I might be actually able to taste it.

So we ordered and went to the soda fountain and got our drinks. As we chose a table I could see that there was a small group of free-range children hanging out at a table. They were staring at me. Especially the littlest one who was probably 4 or 5. I could here that they were whispering something.

Of course I've heard this before. Young kids are generally very frank and honest, since they haven't been given those filters. I'd be surprised if any of you big boys didn't know how this feels, as you can tell they see you as different.

I could hear him talking to his brother and sister and whispering that there was this fat guy in his vicinity. His siblings agreed I could tell, but they weren't quite as vocal about it. there was a bit of giggling and I could feel them staring at me. The youngest one finally decided to address me directly, stating loudly, "Wow, You're really FAT!!"

I turned around, looked at the youngest one directly and said, "Yes, I am fat, and you're parents are awful."

I surprised all the kids by responding. Yes, I was a little harsh with the parent's remark. Still, I was certainly willing to forgive the kid's youth, but yes, I was affected by the remark. Kids do have a way of laying you out. Chris was surprised by the whole thing and knew I was hurt although I was trying to brush it off.

The kids scrambled back to their parents table and there was some talk going on over there. I would guess that the kids were defending/covering up for the youngest, and since the kids were ready to leave, the parents were getting up to go as well. Chris was rather concerned that there wasn't a move made by the parents to apologize. I chalked it up to the normal Plano types...not really concerned about anyone but themselves. Out they went, and I got on with my meal.

I have to admit that I kind of wished the boy would grow up to be a chubby chaser. Bitter? Maybe a little.

I saw that the family was taking a long time getting into the car, hanging around the parking lot outside the restaurant. We were about half way through the meal when I saw the mother and the youngest child come back in. The kid looked like he had had a talking to, and looked like he had been crying. The mother came to me and said, "I'm sorry, but I have heard that our son said something offensive to you." It was a bit of an awkward phrase, but there was the hint that she did not know what had happened.

I said that yes, their was something said, and she turned to the boy and said, "What do we say? You need to look him in the eye and tell him you're sorry. The boy did not want to do it. It was a humiliation of the worst kind, and i wasn't sure if he really understood what he did, or was just upset by the punishment. After a little more coaxing he finally turned towards me and gurgled out, "sorry."

I looked at him and said thank you, just plain and simple. He quickly turned away. His mother said that she didn't know about the incident until they got out into the parking lot. apparently one of the other kids tattled on him. I thanked her as well, and she turned and left. All in all, an unusual ending for the evening.

Like I've said, this isn't the first time it's happened, but I think it was the first time that the parent came back and had the kid apologize like that. Other times, if the parent is in earshot they might say a quick "sorry", and off they go, sometimes embarrassed, sometime not.

I guess I feel a little better about Plano families right now.

Comments

[furrytxcub.livejournal.com]

Wow. I'm so sorry, honey. That kid has shitty parents. :(

[joshualore.livejournal.com]

Agreed.

[pteroglyph.livejournal.com]

Shitty parents drive away laughing at their precious little one's antics. This parent did no such thing. Raising children takes presence of mind and courage. She might have approached someone with far less grace than Mike and received a torrent of abuse for her trouble, but she took the risk to correct an errant child. She deserves praise not scorn.

[furrytxcub.livejournal.com]

I disagree with you, sir. I think the mother took a step in the right direction by bringing the child back in to apologize, but even at that young age, he should have some sense of manners. She should have had "presence of mind and courage" to have already gone over that things like this should not be said.

[eggwards.livejournal.com]

That's really a tough thing to say. I don't think kids get as much social training as they once did (seen and not heard, for example) and since no one in his immediate family was overweight, I'm kind of guessing that seeing an overweight person is a bit of a novelty for him. I could tell that he didn't really understand what he had done, so this was a real lesson for him.

Again, children can be very frank, and haven't always developed that filter that comes with age - and embarrassement.

[teddyb.livejournal.com]

This is where I'd give credit to the mother. She could have just let the situation go, but she didn't. The used it to teach her children a lesson in manners in a way I am sure they will all remember.

As you said, young children just don't have those "social poise" filters when they are very young. That develops in time, as is the case with all those civilized behaviours we call manners.

You gave the mother an opportunity to teach her kids a lesson in manners, and I'm glad to see she was wise enough to use the sitation to teach that lessson.

[eggwards.livejournal.com]

I have to agree with you there. I was very suprised that she brought the kid back in at all. She could have easily done nothing, got in the car, and driven home, rather than have to have her child face me.

[beardoc.livejournal.com]

I think the kid did the wrong thing, yes - but I'm sure you agree that the mother did the right thing when she knew someone was done wrong. Hopefully the kid won't do it again.

I know you're feeling better about Plano families, but are you feeling better about the whole situation?

[garebear.livejournal.com]

Hugs.

I admire the mother. It takes guts to have to march back in and make the kid apologize when it would have been much easier to just leave. Despite the best efforts of parents, kids don't always turn out the way you want them to. That's one of the blessings of being gay I suppose. I guess we know who wears the pants in that family

What I do fault the parents for is having free-range children. Leashes people leashes (and perhaps a cattle prod).

As being "fat," I think it something we should accept and be proud of -- just like gay pride. I've seen several news stories that have proclaimed the metrosexual as dead and the new sex appeal of chubby men. Of course, that's straight society.

[aadroma.livejournal.com]

I applaud your response to the kid, honey -- while you might think it was a bit harsh, I know several who'd've said far worse in response to a comment like that~~

I give the mother at least some credit.

[crbear.livejournal.com]

Yes, she should have raised her child to be more polite. However, she did do the right thing by making him apologize. Hopefully, it will make the right impression on the kid, (their little minds are kind of malleable at that age.) Of course the best punishment that fate could deal him is for him to become overweight, (even thin people can develop weight problems), so he can see hou it feels.

[teddyb.livejournal.com]

Good for you to have said something, and to have put in motion an opportunity for the kid and his siblings to have learned something.

I have to say I'm on the side of those who would give some credit to the mom for not just blowing off the situation, but setting herself up for a little embarrassment in order to make sure you got the apology you deserved and that her children all learned something from the experience.

I'll bet those kids are going to remember this incident for a while, and think twice in the future before blurting out something that can be hurtful.

I'm glad you didn't just internalize the hurt and anger, and instead turned it into something positive.

Good for you, man!