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The Outdoors is Not So Great
Jul. 6th, 2007 11:57 pmSince, with the Live Earth concerts starting tonight and going on through the day tomorrow (go Antarctica!), we're supposed to be thinking about the Earth or something. Some sort of of environmental happy-fest.
A few weeks back, Chris asked me if I wanted to go camping. Generally if I'm asked to go camping, the answer is definitely, no.
Sure, this was a gay campground, and there was the enticement of some other hot guys who would also be there, but dang it, camping is much more work, and much less entertaining than it's supposed to be.
My parents wanted to do the camping thing with the kids, and we probably did it twice. Dad bought a whole line of Coleman supplies, lanterns, stoves, coolers, porta-potties, sleeping bags etc. What he found out was having all that stuff was good, but you had to cart all that stuff out there, set it up, take it down, clean it up, then have somewhere to store it. My sister and I were to young to help much, and I remember being bored off my ass while we were at the lake. I'm sure parents hate bored children because they always want you to do something about it.
I was a cub scout. As a cub scout the farthest we ever went was sleeping outside in someone's backyard. While being in sleeping bags was somewhat annoying, their was the convenience of being able to head inside to go to the bathroom.
Eventually I started in the Boy Scouts and there were times the Scouts actually went out into the woods and camped, you know, the making fire with flint kind of stuff. Needless to say I didn't want to go. I liked my luxuries, and my TV (there was a reason I got a portable TV when I was in my teens) and the feeling of being in control...not somewhere where I couldn't easily get home, or call my folks. Yes, I was not the independent sort at that time.
Of course, my parents sent me to summer camp, twice. Camp had the slight advantage of having cabins and toilets, but still there was all that outdoorsy crap, and the forced fun, and the bad food. Camp is where I learned I wasn't very good at baseball, I could capsize a sailboat, and I enjoyed a good book over campfires.
My first camp was run by the YMCA, but the second one was run by the Methodist Church. Both were co-ed, but the church one was less segregated, with girls cabins near the boys. I tried to shower before all the other boys would get back, as i was embarrassed by my big body even then, and somewhere along the way there was a girl in our cabin when I was coming out of the shower. I was mortified. Apparently the word spread and I was then even more embarrassed, especially when I was given an end of camp award called "The Showering With Amy Ain't No Big Deal Award." Yes, i was quite the ladies man.
When I got into college there were a few opportunities to go camping with the fraternity...most of them involving pledging or toying with the pledges - something with current hazing laws can't be done now. The first time you don't have a lot of control, but you want to get in, so you'll give up some niceties and go out to a site you have no idea where it is.
Ahhn but I did. I remember the location of Hell Night was a big, big secret, and pledges always speculated and actives always tried to throw out false hints. Still, once I was blindfolded and placed in the car, I recognized the way we went heading out toward my parents house, and then further out to Huntsville, Texas and into the woods. I remember telling my pledgebrother where we were, and our pledge master getting angry with me for being "smart."
I remember one of the brothers making homemade napalm to get the fire going and nearly starting a forest fire. I also remember being very happy that it was over, and when it was over, it was really late and not worth it to actually stay there the rest of the night.
One year we did it right and stayed at a brother's parent's farm where we could, just like in cub scout days could go in to the house and use the toilet. That was also the year we had a pledge that had never been out of the city, and became really fascinated by seeing cows. We had to tell him that he couldn't ride them.
Really, that's about it. I really prefer to keep my exposure to the great outdoors short and to the point. I get sea sick for one, so my dad's purchase of a boat was also not very satisfactory with me barfing over the side. I like sleeping in a bed, and now I'm thinking the less time in a sleeping bag - even on the floor of someone I'm visiting.
Perhaps I might be lured to go to a cabin if there's some cute eye-candy, but I haven't really ever had the fantasy of sharing space in a tent, or sleeping bag. As much as people might want to do it in the sand on the beach, I think being on regular ground is just as dirty and gritty - and has bugs. This doesn't stir my romantic heart, or make me want to rut in the woods.
Yes, I'm picky, and pampered and a wuss. I want to keep the beautiful vistas, but I'd rather see them from my car or maybe a cruise ship. Let's keep the environment alive so we can stay out of it. It's probably for the best.
A few weeks back, Chris asked me if I wanted to go camping. Generally if I'm asked to go camping, the answer is definitely, no.
Sure, this was a gay campground, and there was the enticement of some other hot guys who would also be there, but dang it, camping is much more work, and much less entertaining than it's supposed to be.
My parents wanted to do the camping thing with the kids, and we probably did it twice. Dad bought a whole line of Coleman supplies, lanterns, stoves, coolers, porta-potties, sleeping bags etc. What he found out was having all that stuff was good, but you had to cart all that stuff out there, set it up, take it down, clean it up, then have somewhere to store it. My sister and I were to young to help much, and I remember being bored off my ass while we were at the lake. I'm sure parents hate bored children because they always want you to do something about it.
I was a cub scout. As a cub scout the farthest we ever went was sleeping outside in someone's backyard. While being in sleeping bags was somewhat annoying, their was the convenience of being able to head inside to go to the bathroom.
Eventually I started in the Boy Scouts and there were times the Scouts actually went out into the woods and camped, you know, the making fire with flint kind of stuff. Needless to say I didn't want to go. I liked my luxuries, and my TV (there was a reason I got a portable TV when I was in my teens) and the feeling of being in control...not somewhere where I couldn't easily get home, or call my folks. Yes, I was not the independent sort at that time.
Of course, my parents sent me to summer camp, twice. Camp had the slight advantage of having cabins and toilets, but still there was all that outdoorsy crap, and the forced fun, and the bad food. Camp is where I learned I wasn't very good at baseball, I could capsize a sailboat, and I enjoyed a good book over campfires.
My first camp was run by the YMCA, but the second one was run by the Methodist Church. Both were co-ed, but the church one was less segregated, with girls cabins near the boys. I tried to shower before all the other boys would get back, as i was embarrassed by my big body even then, and somewhere along the way there was a girl in our cabin when I was coming out of the shower. I was mortified. Apparently the word spread and I was then even more embarrassed, especially when I was given an end of camp award called "The Showering With Amy Ain't No Big Deal Award." Yes, i was quite the ladies man.
When I got into college there were a few opportunities to go camping with the fraternity...most of them involving pledging or toying with the pledges - something with current hazing laws can't be done now. The first time you don't have a lot of control, but you want to get in, so you'll give up some niceties and go out to a site you have no idea where it is.
Ahhn but I did. I remember the location of Hell Night was a big, big secret, and pledges always speculated and actives always tried to throw out false hints. Still, once I was blindfolded and placed in the car, I recognized the way we went heading out toward my parents house, and then further out to Huntsville, Texas and into the woods. I remember telling my pledgebrother where we were, and our pledge master getting angry with me for being "smart."
I remember one of the brothers making homemade napalm to get the fire going and nearly starting a forest fire. I also remember being very happy that it was over, and when it was over, it was really late and not worth it to actually stay there the rest of the night.
One year we did it right and stayed at a brother's parent's farm where we could, just like in cub scout days could go in to the house and use the toilet. That was also the year we had a pledge that had never been out of the city, and became really fascinated by seeing cows. We had to tell him that he couldn't ride them.
Really, that's about it. I really prefer to keep my exposure to the great outdoors short and to the point. I get sea sick for one, so my dad's purchase of a boat was also not very satisfactory with me barfing over the side. I like sleeping in a bed, and now I'm thinking the less time in a sleeping bag - even on the floor of someone I'm visiting.
Perhaps I might be lured to go to a cabin if there's some cute eye-candy, but I haven't really ever had the fantasy of sharing space in a tent, or sleeping bag. As much as people might want to do it in the sand on the beach, I think being on regular ground is just as dirty and gritty - and has bugs. This doesn't stir my romantic heart, or make me want to rut in the woods.
Yes, I'm picky, and pampered and a wuss. I want to keep the beautiful vistas, but I'd rather see them from my car or maybe a cruise ship. Let's keep the environment alive so we can stay out of it. It's probably for the best.
