May. 14th, 2006

eggwards: (Uphill Climb)
Here's the last thing you need to hear at a $5 concert, "We're on our 25th anniversary tour, and tonight, we're going to play one of our albums in it's entirety!"

Yep, that was from the Go-Go's Belinda Carlyle who was playing with her band at the Taste Addison! festival tonight. Her band followed the Gin Blossoms. Last night, where luckily we had better things to do, the headliner was Hootie and the Blowfish.

Tonight's big album, Beauty and the Beat, which apparently had a couple of hits, and a whole lot of tracks that time has forgotten. Luckily, once they finished the album, they got to their other hits. I couldn't tell if Jane Weidlen was touring with them or not this time.

Sure, 25 years is a long time to be in a band, but you know, the Go-Go's among many 80's artists don't really have the gravitas to pull off a "here's some great art of the past" event in a concert. Springsteen, yes, U2, maybe, but the Go-Go's aren't that far away from being the Thompson Twins, you know?

We went out with Mikel ([ profile] soonercubntx), and the large crowd at the event put me right on edge. I find myself less and less able to deal with being in a large crowd of people, and after running around the many food vendors a few times, I needed to get away to somewhere that was at least, less crowded. The people were all coming and going in different directions, and I couldn't seem to get away from them. I guess I start feeling a great need for physical space.

Finally, later I could come back, once they settled down to watch the show - or leave. Still, I felt the need to find my solace on a park bench at the very far end of the festival grounds. I his out, even from Chris and Mikel, who I should have told them that I was going to be leaving for a bit, rather than just disappearing, so they could have enjoyed the show more, rather than looking for me.

It's not the first time I've pulled a stunt like this, and probably won't be the last.

It's interesting how this contrasts with last night, when we were at the going-away party for Matty ([ profile] mattycub). There, when I thought I was going to have to deal with a very crowded bar, it was actually rather empty and it was nice being able to talk to people on the upstairs balcony. It was good seeing Scott ([ profile] xkot) againand getting to meet Ed ([ profile] edbearaustin), and see several others who I don't always get to see.

We ended up in the more crowded Round Up, and for a bit I was uncomfortable, but eventually calmed down. I know that someone might tell me that I should drink more, but I think it would actually make matters worse, not better.

I've been very much on edge for the last several days, and I'm not sure why. I guess a part of it is not feeling that I'm living up to a lot of expectations, including my own. One of those expectations is softball. we haven't played much, due to rain and all, but when we actually have to play another team, I get anxious, nervous and down right irritable. I'm really thinking that I should just quit. I can help out with practice, but I don't want to be involved with the games. I feel that there's far too many people with grand expectations for this team - that we'll bee some big champion or something, and I just don't think I can play that way.

I don't want to let the team down by making errors and looking like an idiot on the field, so, in my usual way, I'd rather bow out than try to fight it. Those who have read this journal for a while know I'm really good at retreating.

It's also not helping that the coaches are fighting, part of it brought on by people who are being, in my opinion, far to competitive and serious about this game, so they are trying to play the coaches against each other to get what they want, more playing time, people benched, etc. It's really ruining any sense of fun I was having with the game.

Of course there's two games tomorrow, and I don't even know if enough people will show up to play, let alone allow me to ride the bench. I was hoping it would rain tonight, but it doesn't look like there's much chance of being saved that way.

Vacation...had to get away?


May. 14th, 2006 11:49 pm
eggwards: (Default)
I did actually play softball today. The team played two games, and I did scorekeeping the first game, and played 3rd Base the second. While I continue to hit well, I feel like my fielding is a complete mess.

We had a long wait between innings, and we even went out to lunch with the Mikes ([ profile] starzcub and [ profile] mikeybeartx). Unfortunately we went to McDonalds, and after waiting through another extra-inning game after that, I didn't know if it was my nerves making me queasy in the stomach, or the Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese.

Still, we were down a few players this week, so out I went onto the field, and nervously tried to wait for each ball to be hit. When I'm out in the field, I feel like I'm in some sort of odd Russian-Roulette meets firing squad kind of thing where the ball's going to be coming for your head at any moment. It's not necessarily being ready to catch the ball, but being more afraid that you won't catch it.

Of course not catching it means two things, either being hit by it, or missing it all together and letting the runners advance. I did more of the latter today. If it wasn't for our rather terrific shortstop, Forrest, the game would have been much, much worse. Forrest actually did get hit in the face at one point.

I'm not saying I was all bad. I did stop a few balls from getting past, and like I said, hitting doesn't seem to be a problem - except for hitting where they ain't, as the saying goes.

Still, there were a couple of times I had the ball, and I wasn't sure where to go with it. Do I throw to first? Home? should I have run up to catch something? All those years of watching and analyzing baseball, and I find I still know very little about the game. Of course, once again one of the players didn't trust me enough to throw to me in a play. that's getting on my nerves.

We lost both games. It's not all because of me, but still, I'm not sure I'm helping so much. I know that wisdom comes with continuing to do something, and learning. I guess i still need to be coaxed into continuing, though.

I'm a little sore right now, and still unsure about the game. Luckily i wasn't a total disaster out there, but no great shakes either.

Otherwise, tonight we went to TV night over at Matty's and watched Lost, which continues to amaze me. The show has gotten so intricate that I wonder if they'll really start to lose viewers with all you have to keep up with? I know that they will have trouble getting new viewers just because it's so difficult to keep up with events that happened a year ago that are just now coming to fruition. It's a difficult show, but I'm hoping the rewards will be good.


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