Glove Tossing as a Sport

Over the weekend we had a scrimmage with another softball team, the one we lost to the week before, actually. I was in no mood to play at 9:30 in the morning, especially after loosing an hour of sleep the night before. I also got some performance anxiety when I found out that I'd be starting at Catcher, and when during warmups, a ball hit my glove wrong and ended up bopping me in the chin, making me bite into the skin under my lip, inside my mouth. When that happened I lost it, threw down my glove and was over it all, walking away from the field.

I didn't quite quit the team, but I really wanted to at that moment. I told the coach that I wasn't going to play today. I felt pressure to play when I didn't feel ready, at a position I thought I liked, but now have no confidence in being able to play. When I had many passed balls playing catcher in practice, and being really unable to crouch down for long periods, I just didn't feel right about it. Luckily we had enough people to cover all our positions, and I sulked for a while, but calmed down and eventually started scorekeeping.

Luckily we needed a scorekeeper, since everything seemed just like a real game with umps and all, but when the league provides a scorekeeper, we didn't have one at the scrimmage. Of course, I think that a scrimmage shouldn't be so serious, and should be helping people learn, rather than having pressures of a real game, but as I'm quickly finding out, too many people take D-League softball way to seriously.

So the good part was watching the two catchers, one was big, beefy Jack from the opposing team (because I was scorekeeping, I know all of their names now), and the other, our own Red who is often showing the red strap of his jockstrap and he squats down to catch. Umm, Yummy!

I kept score during both games. i could, and maybe should have gone in for the second game, but I felt important as scorekeeper, so I stayed out there just baking on the sunny bleachers. So now I guess I just need to steel myself a bit and get back on the field next weekend, especially since two of our players were injured. I still like scorekeeping and being a spectator, though. we'll just have to see.

Back to the questions. Jim (jrjarrett) asks me a few related questions.

So now that you've made the big move: How is it? Is it what you expected? Do you find your relationship growing stronger, weaker, or just the same? Are you making friends on your own, people you haven't met thru Chris?

So many questions there. Dallas is like the second home that's become my first home, so the adjustment wasn't so much that i was in a new city, but that I just wasn't driving through Houston and going to work at my old job. The city is just what Dallas is, some good, like generally knowing where I am going, and knowing some people here and there, and some bad - and usually that's all about the "Dallatude". Still, i knew that was here before I moved.

I find my relationship staying kind of level, really, it's just getting used to being around each other all the time, and learning more about what sets each other off, or what makes the other happy. It's the everyday things that you have to learn after having just a string of "special weekends" in the past. I'm having to learn about timing "bedroom time". Again, it's the difference with the expectation of a weekend vs. a living together thing. Still, there's a few cuddles and hugs every day, which is really nice and therapeutic, and often more intimate than just expecting the wild and wooly all the time. Still, there aren't any big surprises on my part.

Chris is the guy I've known for a long time now, and he didn't really change. I guess he's probably seen me be grumpier than he's seen -wait, I take that back, we did try to go out to some pool parties that featured lots of "Dallatude" and those made me grumpy and mad, so I guess he's seen that too. We both have our down moments and our grumpiness. Mine usually comes with a lack of sleep, his seem to be the same, just with some work stress thrown in.

I'm mostly meeting people through Chris or Matty, but that's been true all the time I've known both of them (which I met both of them within a span of about a week (see this journal back in early 2003). Heck, I hardly know anyone in Houston, since I'm jut not one who easily goes out and meets people. Over the weekend a guy who lived in Houston was talking to me and asking me if I knew several people, and I had to say, I didn't know any of them. In Dallas I have a few acquaintances around town that I've known because they are Houston transplants. Chris hasn't met them, but I've had a hard time having time to really get to see them and have them meet Chris. I need to work on that.

Everything is still going good, I guess the two problems I have are both time related, not having as much time to watch television, or use this journal, but as I get back into focus, everything should iron itself out. Of course I should probably drop a few shows - like Desperate Housewives - Big Love does domestic drama so much better.