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Home for the Holidays
Dec. 20th, 2004 09:23 amDinner with the parents started with Dad pointing out proudly that he had picked up those magnetic "support our troops" ribbons on their vehicles. Trying to suppress my feelings about home much I dislike the twisted patriotism most have while displaying those items, I did manage to say, "I'm a little disappointed that you would fall for those, that's the latest version of the "baby on board" fad." Mom was quick to say that no, it wasn't without giving any reason why it wasn't. A typical Mom reaction.
Dad said that a store was giving them away free (thought someone had to pay for them, and damnit, though I'd never display one, I sure wish I was the guy making money off the idea, because someone's making a fortune off of people's patriotism), and that he would support what he wanted to support. Of course this went perfectly with the fact that he was watching a John Wayne movie before I got there. Still, I will say it again, I'll support the troops, and not the conflict.
So off we went to the Olive Garden, for the thought of cuisine, and talked about how the county is trying to get out of their problems by privatizing the jail, which may hurt my Dad's chance at getting full pension in two years if it goes through. Mom was doing here usual job of talking mostly about nothing, and was disappointed to learn that I won't be home for Christmas - though she already knew that, but since my family doesn't do anything special, there's no reason for me not to be with Chris.
When we got back home, I helped Dad with some computer upgrades, though he's actually a little better with some Windows apps than I am. I also ripped a couple of CD's for him to listen to in iTunes. While we were doing this I noticed that all of the pictures and photos had been moved up to the loft where the computer is. Since they moved into the new house a few months ago, they hadn't put up any of the pictures.
Dad told me that he had asked her to place the pictures where she wanted them, and he would hang them, but she had staked them away, not wanting them on the walls. Dad realized that he would have to do it himself. I asked him why, and he replied, "She doesn't want to get used to this house. She's ready to move into a nursing home." Mom is 61. I had heard this rumor before.
Mom isn't hurt, she isn't incapacitated, she functions well enough. What she doesn't want to do is cook and clean. She wants this done for her, and I guess the idea is, that if she can't get a maid, the next best thing is to move into a old folks home and have a staff that does this. Of course, Dad wouldn't do this, so she'd have to rely on her money, which is all from inheritance, and to move into a community that, if she lives as long as her mother, would allow her to live for the next 25 years, it would have to be kind of cheap. Mom wouldn't like this.
Part of Mom's money went into getting this house. If you knew you didn't want to do this, why did you agree to this? Some things will never be known I guess.
So Mom will probably put up with this for a while. I don't think Dad would actually move into a home until the very last moment, so that would be interesting, to say the least. It's an interesting push and pull between two people who really don't belong together anymore.
Since I would be away for the holidays, Dad went ahead and gave me my gift for Christmas, $100. He's been doing that for the last ten years or so. He's not much for shopping, and I really don't fill out that Wish Book list anymore. Mom tried to compete last year and gave me money as well, an she said she hadn't given me money. I told her that I really wish she would save her money (since she doesn't actually earn more), but she said that she'd give me some when I saw them again. It's weird to be in the middle of a sort of competition now.
I don't know what to do with these people any more. I still haven't found mom a gift. Dad I found a Steve McQueen movie - retro cool, without being John Wayne. Mom, what do you get the woman who doesn't want to do anything?
Dad said that a store was giving them away free (thought someone had to pay for them, and damnit, though I'd never display one, I sure wish I was the guy making money off the idea, because someone's making a fortune off of people's patriotism), and that he would support what he wanted to support. Of course this went perfectly with the fact that he was watching a John Wayne movie before I got there. Still, I will say it again, I'll support the troops, and not the conflict.
So off we went to the Olive Garden, for the thought of cuisine, and talked about how the county is trying to get out of their problems by privatizing the jail, which may hurt my Dad's chance at getting full pension in two years if it goes through. Mom was doing here usual job of talking mostly about nothing, and was disappointed to learn that I won't be home for Christmas - though she already knew that, but since my family doesn't do anything special, there's no reason for me not to be with Chris.
When we got back home, I helped Dad with some computer upgrades, though he's actually a little better with some Windows apps than I am. I also ripped a couple of CD's for him to listen to in iTunes. While we were doing this I noticed that all of the pictures and photos had been moved up to the loft where the computer is. Since they moved into the new house a few months ago, they hadn't put up any of the pictures.
Dad told me that he had asked her to place the pictures where she wanted them, and he would hang them, but she had staked them away, not wanting them on the walls. Dad realized that he would have to do it himself. I asked him why, and he replied, "She doesn't want to get used to this house. She's ready to move into a nursing home." Mom is 61. I had heard this rumor before.
Mom isn't hurt, she isn't incapacitated, she functions well enough. What she doesn't want to do is cook and clean. She wants this done for her, and I guess the idea is, that if she can't get a maid, the next best thing is to move into a old folks home and have a staff that does this. Of course, Dad wouldn't do this, so she'd have to rely on her money, which is all from inheritance, and to move into a community that, if she lives as long as her mother, would allow her to live for the next 25 years, it would have to be kind of cheap. Mom wouldn't like this.
Part of Mom's money went into getting this house. If you knew you didn't want to do this, why did you agree to this? Some things will never be known I guess.
So Mom will probably put up with this for a while. I don't think Dad would actually move into a home until the very last moment, so that would be interesting, to say the least. It's an interesting push and pull between two people who really don't belong together anymore.
Since I would be away for the holidays, Dad went ahead and gave me my gift for Christmas, $100. He's been doing that for the last ten years or so. He's not much for shopping, and I really don't fill out that Wish Book list anymore. Mom tried to compete last year and gave me money as well, an she said she hadn't given me money. I told her that I really wish she would save her money (since she doesn't actually earn more), but she said that she'd give me some when I saw them again. It's weird to be in the middle of a sort of competition now.
I don't know what to do with these people any more. I still haven't found mom a gift. Dad I found a Steve McQueen movie - retro cool, without being John Wayne. Mom, what do you get the woman who doesn't want to do anything?
