eggwards | Oct. 17th, 2004

Thanks everyone for your comments on last nights post. I will respond to some of them later.

So last night I did go out, first for coffee, then out to the Ripcord. I talked to some friends, probably not looking too open for anyone new to approach me, but that's cool. I really didn't fell like getting into all of that. For all my body issues, I certainly know when I go somewhere like that, I'm going to be judged. I just wish I could handle my perception of their reactions better. I don't know what is going on in their minds, but I do tend to create my own ideas, based on my own feelings. It's a bad process.

Still, I won't say that I'm above judging others. Again the guy who wears the dishtowel was there. His towel slips and slides, and folks, everyone there knows what he's got. I'm not at the Ripcord often, but I've never seen him go home with somebody. It certainly doesn't help that his garment makes him look, to me, more desperate.

As the weather gets cooler, I noticed more people were in leather drag last night. While I like the look, last night I only saw a couple of people who actually carried it off well. Again, this makes me question why I consider buying various articles of clothing that could be considered "drag'. Things like kilts, leather harnesses and chaps, and overalls (the latter is something I do own). In fact, while looking for a wind-breaker/light jacket on JC Penney.com I saw some Carhart jackets and considered buying one. Then I though, do I want one because it's a good coat for me, or that I've seen that label on other hot guys, and think I'd look hot in it too?

I asked Chris last night if I should wear the overalls to the bar, or just go with jeans. After he said "jeans" I asked why, and he told me that the overalls are cute, but not hot. So i had to question myself, what message am I trying to send? Still, I wore the jeans. I don't think i dressed up or anything.

Still, I did get lucky. Not with someone I don't know. I'm not real big on the anonymous sex, nor do I like a hello-goodbye situation. Judge me if you will, but I guess you might say, Mission Accomplished, even though it was a bit of a half asses try to hook up. in fact, it surprised me. Horniness Factor now lower.

Otherwise, my parents are on their way. I'll have to give them the grand tour of my little apartment, the grounds and the local area of Houston. It's not like they've never been to Houston, but they really don't get out much at all. I know that this is more for my mother, as Dad probably doesn't really care. That's cool.

I cleaned up the house. I've broken the kitchen faucet, so that will have to be called into the management. Good thing I signed the new lease, I guess. The hose is in good shape, but certainly not perfect. You'll find some dust, somewhere, and I didn't clean off the desk and such. the place looks like someone lives here. What a shock.

I decided not to take down the magnets. I'm not taking down the pictures of Chris or the bear run lanyards, or the pictures of various LJ'ers I have about the house. Sure, I don't have Out Magazine or male nudes all over the place, it's just my place. If they have questions, I have answers. I'm going to show them where I live, as it really is. Why shouldn't I?

I'm more concerned with the maintenance men who will come in to fix the faucet than I am my parents seeing the stuff in my house. They are strangers, my parents are not. Still, i think you'd notice I'm a baseball fan or comic book fan before you'd notice that I'm gay.

Hell, maybe we'll finally discuss the "bear" thing, or maybe we won't It depends on what they want to discuss.

I wonder If I can convince them to take me to Fogo de Chao tonight?