![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Fear and Loathing in the Rat Race
Oct. 1st, 2004 08:10 amHappy birthday to Jeff (![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
jeffbear63) and Alan (redcub)!
Yesterday I took Zack, one of my associates, out to lunch. He won it as a part of our incentive game. They came up with the idea of doing lunch. Personally I don't think it's much of a prize, as I wouldn't care to have lunch with my boss, but that's just me. He was trying to appeal to my sensibilities by suggesting a burger joint, but I told him I'm not like my boss Lisa and her breakfast demands. Where did he want to go (within economic reason)?
We still ended up at Prince's Burgers, which was fine with me. We got into directions, and Zack is a recent divorcee, with two kids and past navy service. He's just working on getting back to school and is looking for an IT degree. I said there isn't much opportunity for me to help him. We just don't do many projects that call on IT experience. I had him testing web applications at one time, and that was the best I could do. I've known his desire to move to IT for a long while now.
I told him the best opportunity would be for him to get certified, and get his education (I think DeVry offers degrees now), it's a much tougher job market without it. I thought in the back of my mind that it sucked that he didn't get the Help Desk position back in 2000, it was his best shot to get out. Still, he's been on my team for 3 1/2 years now, and we know each other pretty well. I'm trying to get him to stop dating loud-mouth Kelli.
He asked me about my direction, and why I haven't become a manager. I said that i might go for it if I saw the right spot, but with being focused on Dallas, it didn't seem right to go for something here, especially if I had to learn something new. I looked back and saw opportunities missed, moves I should have considered more, jobs internally I could have interviewed for that would have helped my resume and given me a better chance for some of the positions I'm trying for now. I should have gone to marketing, to gain the knowledge, if not for the sales experience.
Still, we get calls from those marketing fools everyday asking questions about our new product. Seems as though their training on it wasn't as extensive as our own. I'm proud of that.
Still, Zack, and the rest of the team know I'm looking to move on, that I'm gay and I'm following my bliss. This scares them. In fact, the team is very unsure about the new product that they were moved over to serve. They get calls from clients, tough calls they don't feel ready to handle. I try to smooth out the rough spots and unruffled feathers. they have the knowledge, on-line if not in their heads, they just have to use it. I put out a guide on how to handle rejects - 10 pages. It is intimidating.
It doesn't help that we still haven't actually sold one of these plans. We wait with some excitement and lots of trepidation. The waiting is building on the fear. there's also the errors they can get if an item is set up wrong. Add to the fact that they know I, the guy with the most knowledge in his head, am not destined to be there forever, and the new revelation that Lisa just applied for a new job, and suddenly I have a nightmare of skittish associates.
They didn't ask to be on this team, and Zack confirms that they are scared that they will be hurt by being here, and I'm way too honest to try to dispute it. If I have one downfall in management it's the fact that I can't be fake-positive about a directive from upper management if I don't believe it myself. It makes for awkward moments, but I think my guys respect me for it.
I want out because I've done this job, and I want a new start. they want out, but aren't sure what to do. While I'm here it's still my job to help them. I wonder if I can.
jeffbear63) and Alan (redcub)!Yesterday I took Zack, one of my associates, out to lunch. He won it as a part of our incentive game. They came up with the idea of doing lunch. Personally I don't think it's much of a prize, as I wouldn't care to have lunch with my boss, but that's just me. He was trying to appeal to my sensibilities by suggesting a burger joint, but I told him I'm not like my boss Lisa and her breakfast demands. Where did he want to go (within economic reason)?
We still ended up at Prince's Burgers, which was fine with me. We got into directions, and Zack is a recent divorcee, with two kids and past navy service. He's just working on getting back to school and is looking for an IT degree. I said there isn't much opportunity for me to help him. We just don't do many projects that call on IT experience. I had him testing web applications at one time, and that was the best I could do. I've known his desire to move to IT for a long while now.
I told him the best opportunity would be for him to get certified, and get his education (I think DeVry offers degrees now), it's a much tougher job market without it. I thought in the back of my mind that it sucked that he didn't get the Help Desk position back in 2000, it was his best shot to get out. Still, he's been on my team for 3 1/2 years now, and we know each other pretty well. I'm trying to get him to stop dating loud-mouth Kelli.
He asked me about my direction, and why I haven't become a manager. I said that i might go for it if I saw the right spot, but with being focused on Dallas, it didn't seem right to go for something here, especially if I had to learn something new. I looked back and saw opportunities missed, moves I should have considered more, jobs internally I could have interviewed for that would have helped my resume and given me a better chance for some of the positions I'm trying for now. I should have gone to marketing, to gain the knowledge, if not for the sales experience.
Still, we get calls from those marketing fools everyday asking questions about our new product. Seems as though their training on it wasn't as extensive as our own. I'm proud of that.
Still, Zack, and the rest of the team know I'm looking to move on, that I'm gay and I'm following my bliss. This scares them. In fact, the team is very unsure about the new product that they were moved over to serve. They get calls from clients, tough calls they don't feel ready to handle. I try to smooth out the rough spots and unruffled feathers. they have the knowledge, on-line if not in their heads, they just have to use it. I put out a guide on how to handle rejects - 10 pages. It is intimidating.
It doesn't help that we still haven't actually sold one of these plans. We wait with some excitement and lots of trepidation. The waiting is building on the fear. there's also the errors they can get if an item is set up wrong. Add to the fact that they know I, the guy with the most knowledge in his head, am not destined to be there forever, and the new revelation that Lisa just applied for a new job, and suddenly I have a nightmare of skittish associates.
They didn't ask to be on this team, and Zack confirms that they are scared that they will be hurt by being here, and I'm way too honest to try to dispute it. If I have one downfall in management it's the fact that I can't be fake-positive about a directive from upper management if I don't believe it myself. It makes for awkward moments, but I think my guys respect me for it.
I want out because I've done this job, and I want a new start. they want out, but aren't sure what to do. While I'm here it's still my job to help them. I wonder if I can.
