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Column Fodder: Where's The Sense in That?
Feb. 8th, 2004 02:35 pmI just finished watching The Laramie Project. It's the filmed version of the play, from HBO. Tivo picked it up several days ago, and I just got around to seeing it.
Lunch, that I prepared so I could eat it during the film, is still on the coffee table, partially eaten.
Sure, you could comment about the star power that they were able to get for the film, or you could talk about the performances, but these things are unimportant. What is important is the words.
I'm sure most of you know about the play. A group of playwrights went on the road to Laramie after the beating and eventual death of Matthew Shepard in 1998. They spent days, months even getting reactions and candid conversation from people who live in Laramie. Some that new Matthew, some that were directly involved with the case, and others who just represented the town. What resulted is a portrait of a town and all of the different feelings and reactions to the tragedy.
Some people were moved, others took action, and unfortunately, others either didn't understand, or didn't care. A few, or at least I hope it's a few, didn't feel it was wrong, because of one aspect of Matthew's life.
I guess with my own coming out process over the last couple of years, I've become a little hyper sensitive. Everything is gay, gay, gay, but in reality I may be homosexual, but I'm also a manager, an ex-musician, a dreamer, fat, a pretty good driver, a writer, brunette, a person who pays his bills, a son, stubborn, a baseball fan, and tons more. The gay aspect of my life is just one part. Sure, I've been exploring it lately, but I did the same thing with fraternity life several years ago. I wanted to know all about it, and try to see what it was all about.
Homosexuality stands out because it's different. It's not the norm. It's a source of fascination for some, derision for others. It challenges people because the modern movement has happened in many of our lifetimes. If you went back to 1960 and asked someone off the street if they knew someone who might be homosexual, even just a public figure, a few cultural types might be able to give you Oscar Wilde, or Noel Coward. this in a time with Liberace and Rock Hudson. it would be surprising to find a person who knew much about this.
Now, here it is on television, and in regular life. Commercials poke a mild fun at homophobia and it seems every few days someone's giving their opinion about same-sex marriage. I'm not surprised that the number of gay-bashing incidents has risen in Houston the last few months. Still, it's pushed below the surface, Because we, as a society, don't want to be those kinds of people.
Somewhere in this country, someone's still applauding the men who took Matthew Shepherd away. I will never meet Matthew, but Lord knows I'd want to. How did this one man create such a stir, and as the play shows, really it's something he was only marginally involved with. It wasn't by choice or plan. An action like this just stands out, because it stands for so much more, just lingering under the surface. I guess I'd want to know Matthew just to discover what he was like, perhaps to know the man who, though his death has been built up to so much more. I'm sure he'd shudder at the thought. Still, he stands as so much more than just one man.
In Houston, more than ten years ago there was a beating, an death of a man, Paul Brussard. He got attention on the local news. His attackers, teenagers from The Woodlands, a town close to where my parents live, were tried and convicted. there was never the catharsis that there was in Laramie. Perhaps it's because the drove into the big city. Gays live in the big city. Sure, his killers came from the suburbs, actually driving into the Montrose, looking for trouble, but things like this happen, in the big city. There were vigils, all within the community, and the fear stayed, in the community.
There was a little footnote the other day. One of the former teens had broken parole and was found in a Houston area motel room. Unlike Matthew's tormentors, Paul's were teens and they got a lighter sentence. These people are out there, and I've never heard anyone in The Woodlands say they were sorry, or they had learned something from this incident. The Woodlands is now one of the largest master-planned communities in the country, and you know that there must be gay people there, just like in Laramie.
I've thrown off several of my fears, but I know, when I do go to the bars in Houston, that the neighborhood is dark, it's in residential streets that are small and the bars, many of then, try to blend in a bit with the houses and townhomes. Any time you're down there, a van full of stupid teenagers could come by throwing epithets at you, or worse. One thing that did come from Paul's death was a greater increase of HPD patrols, but it will never catch everything.
The play doesn't try to find the reasons the two guys picked up Matthew shepard that night. It's more of a journalist's experience, reporting what happened, including the confession of one of the men as it was presented at his trial. The account is chilling, especially since you can't figure out if the man is deluded, angry, or just stupid. It all seems so nonchalant. Your not sure if he's pure evil, or just did it because Matthew was there, and it was a lark. One Laramie citizen goes on to say, "You'd hoped that he was from somewhere else, so you could say, We don't raise kids like that, but apparently we do raise kids like that."
I can't quite understand what causes such hate, even casual hate. I've seen some, here and there, usually in innocuous phrases thrown out by people who would swear that they aren't bigoted, but that's wrong, and they get what the deserve. Of course, there's my favorite, Hate the sin, love the sinner. As if that made the difference. I'm not a saint myself, I've had thoughts that I'm not proud of, I have had times where I've hated a person, or hated what they had done, but to try to say you're compassionate since you can separate that person's actions from their being seems to throw a naivete in your dealings in the world.
Last night a radio show was trying to understand what happened with the girl in Florida who was abducted and killed. The host had started to question where God was, and how would he allow something like this. One caller called in and started speaking of her life, and how rotten it was, until she found Jesus. The caller didn't mention anything about the case, or horrible crimes like that. She just pooped in with what worked in her life, and recommended it to others. I'm glad this works in her world, but it made her experience seem so distant from the world the host was talking about. There's this thought that if you'll just find Jesus (was he missing?) your life will be gardens and sunshine. Still, for all of the believers out there, we still have our Carlies, and Pauls and Matthews. Insulating yourself through your religion still doesn't stop these things from happening, and then you turn away, stating if they had only come to God - like that's a shield from trouble.
People in the film kept asking, "why?" Why in their town, in there state. Hadn't they just said live and let live? There were a few who would actually admit, if he wouldn't have flaunted his homosexuality, this would have never have happened. This is of course, an justification. Did little Carlie flaunt her little-girlness? Had she stopped doing that, would she still be alive today? In the long run, it didn't matter who Matthew was, he was a human being, murdered.
I'm a really sensitive person when it comes to films. Heck, I teared up in Brother Bear. still, something in this film, in this story moved me. The movie was short, just an hour and 40 minutes, but I was crying for about half of it. the whole act just seemed so stupid, and they, like myself, feel helpless. As I see more and more people come out, and I experience that subtle animosity in my own life, even from some old friends, fraternity brothers, and even my own parents, I wonder why? Why from just who I love are you so scared? Why can't you see the rest of me?
I wish that every person in this country could see this film. Unfortunately I think it will only preach to the converted. The movie was made in 2002, so it may have already run it's course. Still , the film would work better than the silly "diversity training" they try in so many places. If the late Matthew Shepherd can't get through to people, who can? What will it take? It's a shift of greater proportions than I guess I even understand.
Perhaps I'm trying to make a change in a day that other minorities have taken decades to achieve. Women, blacks, Asians, Hispanics, it's taken years of mistrust and fighting to get to this point, and I want a switch to be turned and then feel that I can live in peace? Unrealistic, I know. Still, I would hope that Matthew would be proud that some good did come out of a horrible tragedy. Who's to know? Certainly I don't.
Words that some of these people gave to the playwrights may have seemed to be just throwaways at the time, but they speak volumes. They're little insights into the soul, as you can tell they are just trying to make sense of their world. I guess we're all just trying to make some sense of it.
Lunch, that I prepared so I could eat it during the film, is still on the coffee table, partially eaten.
Sure, you could comment about the star power that they were able to get for the film, or you could talk about the performances, but these things are unimportant. What is important is the words.
I'm sure most of you know about the play. A group of playwrights went on the road to Laramie after the beating and eventual death of Matthew Shepard in 1998. They spent days, months even getting reactions and candid conversation from people who live in Laramie. Some that new Matthew, some that were directly involved with the case, and others who just represented the town. What resulted is a portrait of a town and all of the different feelings and reactions to the tragedy.
Some people were moved, others took action, and unfortunately, others either didn't understand, or didn't care. A few, or at least I hope it's a few, didn't feel it was wrong, because of one aspect of Matthew's life.
I guess with my own coming out process over the last couple of years, I've become a little hyper sensitive. Everything is gay, gay, gay, but in reality I may be homosexual, but I'm also a manager, an ex-musician, a dreamer, fat, a pretty good driver, a writer, brunette, a person who pays his bills, a son, stubborn, a baseball fan, and tons more. The gay aspect of my life is just one part. Sure, I've been exploring it lately, but I did the same thing with fraternity life several years ago. I wanted to know all about it, and try to see what it was all about.
Homosexuality stands out because it's different. It's not the norm. It's a source of fascination for some, derision for others. It challenges people because the modern movement has happened in many of our lifetimes. If you went back to 1960 and asked someone off the street if they knew someone who might be homosexual, even just a public figure, a few cultural types might be able to give you Oscar Wilde, or Noel Coward. this in a time with Liberace and Rock Hudson. it would be surprising to find a person who knew much about this.
Now, here it is on television, and in regular life. Commercials poke a mild fun at homophobia and it seems every few days someone's giving their opinion about same-sex marriage. I'm not surprised that the number of gay-bashing incidents has risen in Houston the last few months. Still, it's pushed below the surface, Because we, as a society, don't want to be those kinds of people.
Somewhere in this country, someone's still applauding the men who took Matthew Shepherd away. I will never meet Matthew, but Lord knows I'd want to. How did this one man create such a stir, and as the play shows, really it's something he was only marginally involved with. It wasn't by choice or plan. An action like this just stands out, because it stands for so much more, just lingering under the surface. I guess I'd want to know Matthew just to discover what he was like, perhaps to know the man who, though his death has been built up to so much more. I'm sure he'd shudder at the thought. Still, he stands as so much more than just one man.
In Houston, more than ten years ago there was a beating, an death of a man, Paul Brussard. He got attention on the local news. His attackers, teenagers from The Woodlands, a town close to where my parents live, were tried and convicted. there was never the catharsis that there was in Laramie. Perhaps it's because the drove into the big city. Gays live in the big city. Sure, his killers came from the suburbs, actually driving into the Montrose, looking for trouble, but things like this happen, in the big city. There were vigils, all within the community, and the fear stayed, in the community.
There was a little footnote the other day. One of the former teens had broken parole and was found in a Houston area motel room. Unlike Matthew's tormentors, Paul's were teens and they got a lighter sentence. These people are out there, and I've never heard anyone in The Woodlands say they were sorry, or they had learned something from this incident. The Woodlands is now one of the largest master-planned communities in the country, and you know that there must be gay people there, just like in Laramie.
I've thrown off several of my fears, but I know, when I do go to the bars in Houston, that the neighborhood is dark, it's in residential streets that are small and the bars, many of then, try to blend in a bit with the houses and townhomes. Any time you're down there, a van full of stupid teenagers could come by throwing epithets at you, or worse. One thing that did come from Paul's death was a greater increase of HPD patrols, but it will never catch everything.
The play doesn't try to find the reasons the two guys picked up Matthew shepard that night. It's more of a journalist's experience, reporting what happened, including the confession of one of the men as it was presented at his trial. The account is chilling, especially since you can't figure out if the man is deluded, angry, or just stupid. It all seems so nonchalant. Your not sure if he's pure evil, or just did it because Matthew was there, and it was a lark. One Laramie citizen goes on to say, "You'd hoped that he was from somewhere else, so you could say, We don't raise kids like that, but apparently we do raise kids like that."
I can't quite understand what causes such hate, even casual hate. I've seen some, here and there, usually in innocuous phrases thrown out by people who would swear that they aren't bigoted, but that's wrong, and they get what the deserve. Of course, there's my favorite, Hate the sin, love the sinner. As if that made the difference. I'm not a saint myself, I've had thoughts that I'm not proud of, I have had times where I've hated a person, or hated what they had done, but to try to say you're compassionate since you can separate that person's actions from their being seems to throw a naivete in your dealings in the world.
Last night a radio show was trying to understand what happened with the girl in Florida who was abducted and killed. The host had started to question where God was, and how would he allow something like this. One caller called in and started speaking of her life, and how rotten it was, until she found Jesus. The caller didn't mention anything about the case, or horrible crimes like that. She just pooped in with what worked in her life, and recommended it to others. I'm glad this works in her world, but it made her experience seem so distant from the world the host was talking about. There's this thought that if you'll just find Jesus (was he missing?) your life will be gardens and sunshine. Still, for all of the believers out there, we still have our Carlies, and Pauls and Matthews. Insulating yourself through your religion still doesn't stop these things from happening, and then you turn away, stating if they had only come to God - like that's a shield from trouble.
People in the film kept asking, "why?" Why in their town, in there state. Hadn't they just said live and let live? There were a few who would actually admit, if he wouldn't have flaunted his homosexuality, this would have never have happened. This is of course, an justification. Did little Carlie flaunt her little-girlness? Had she stopped doing that, would she still be alive today? In the long run, it didn't matter who Matthew was, he was a human being, murdered.
I'm a really sensitive person when it comes to films. Heck, I teared up in Brother Bear. still, something in this film, in this story moved me. The movie was short, just an hour and 40 minutes, but I was crying for about half of it. the whole act just seemed so stupid, and they, like myself, feel helpless. As I see more and more people come out, and I experience that subtle animosity in my own life, even from some old friends, fraternity brothers, and even my own parents, I wonder why? Why from just who I love are you so scared? Why can't you see the rest of me?
I wish that every person in this country could see this film. Unfortunately I think it will only preach to the converted. The movie was made in 2002, so it may have already run it's course. Still , the film would work better than the silly "diversity training" they try in so many places. If the late Matthew Shepherd can't get through to people, who can? What will it take? It's a shift of greater proportions than I guess I even understand.
Perhaps I'm trying to make a change in a day that other minorities have taken decades to achieve. Women, blacks, Asians, Hispanics, it's taken years of mistrust and fighting to get to this point, and I want a switch to be turned and then feel that I can live in peace? Unrealistic, I know. Still, I would hope that Matthew would be proud that some good did come out of a horrible tragedy. Who's to know? Certainly I don't.
Words that some of these people gave to the playwrights may have seemed to be just throwaways at the time, but they speak volumes. They're little insights into the soul, as you can tell they are just trying to make sense of their world. I guess we're all just trying to make some sense of it.
