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Christmas Time is Here
Dec. 22nd, 2003 09:28 amIt wasn't a really big weekend. I felt oddly distant from everything, with that feeling of I could be happy if I just slept through everything. I don't know why I was so down. I guess I could have used some attention in small ways, but groups were freaking me out again. I ended up watching a lot of Tivo'ed Buffy again. That can't be a good sign.
I got up on Saturday and got dressed to go out to TubaChristmas. I picked up my button, and found out that this was actually my 16th one to attend. The time sure has flown. Several of the attendees weren't even born when I started doing this. I was just learning Tuba then, so I didn't know bass clef or the fingerings very well then, now, 16 years later, I'm still struggling with fingerings on my C horn, since I previously only used the B-flat. I sucked, and I was proud of it.
Tank was there, and his mother was with him. There were a few others that I knew, like the guy from USC that is there every year, and Mike, who we call Trunk (long story) was there with his new kid. Tank and I usually go to shop at the Galleria after the performance, but this year, he had to get back to his wife, so I just went back home and did some computer upgrades...whoo, Panther!
Saturday was also the night of the company holiday party. I really didn't feel like going. I had no one to go with, and I didn't want to get dressed up for the whole thing. This year they stupidly named the dress code "holiday festive". What the hell was I supposed to wear for that? Normally the thing is formal, when we used to have it three years ago. Holiday festive to me could mean that I was supposed to show up in one of those old lady sweaters with a big christmas tree on it, but it could also mean that I should appear in just ribbon, christmas wrap and a bow. Hard to decide.
I had mentioned to my team last week that i felt like being a rebel and go in jeans and a T-shirt. I didn't do that, but I did put on a dress shirt, slacks and a tie. I didn't get into a full suit. Why should I be totally uncomfortable at a party i don't even want to be at.
The company hasn't thrown a party in quite a while, so there was a little interest in going, just to see what they would do. The party was in Houston's new downtown arena, The Toyota Center. Our company has 2,100 employees, and if all of them showed with their one guest that they were allowed, that's still just over 4,000 people. We rented out a 20,000 seat arena for 4,000. Yeah, that's not wasting money. There were open bars, and ice sculptures melting away. By the time I got there, some 3 hours into the party, the food was gone.
Parties like this are just a good excuse for women to overdress. Most of them were in their prom finest, and the guys, most of them never see a tie when they're in the office, all looked uncomfortable. I tried to move and mingle, but again I found myself distancing myself from the whole thing, looking at the architecture of a building I had never been in. I saw some of my team here and there, saying pleasantries, meeting the wives, most that I had met before, asking about the kids, when appropriate. The kind of appearance you put in just because you know it's the right thing to do. The cover band sucked, as you would expect. the company, which is involved in the mutual fund scandal that's going on right now, had yet again spent a wad of cash. hopefully it will pay off in employee morale.
I left about 45 minutes after I arrived. I felt lonely and tired. The Houston Area Bears social was also going on till midnight, but not only did I feel overdressed, but completely anti-social. Although the Bears social was on the way home, I couldn't bring myself to go there. I just drove around the park and went home and hit the bed. I know there were a couple of people who were disappointed that I didn't hop on AIM and Yahoo to chat, but really, I just wanted to be alone.
I'm not sure what it was. Perhaps I just felt bad that Chris couldn't be there. Other people had their significant others there, dancing, laughing, and I just wasn't there. All week I had been asked if Chris could make it. All week I had to say no. I guess I was already down on the party before I went. I really can't get into being social with the folks from work anymore. It's a part of the whole work thing. I feel I'm pulling back, not as involved. I don't enjoy working for the company anymore, so it's hard to like being around those people. Perhaps I'm just pulling away, getting ready for the day I leave. I almost wish they would have another round of layoffs.
As I drove home, I listened to the Charlie Brown Christmas album, probably one of the best Christmas albums ever. It's a light touch, not depressing, not overly joyous, and certainly not saccharine-sweet, just a nice, jazzy take on the season. Beats the new Harry Connick Jr. Christmas Album in spades.
Ahh, the depressing part of the season has arrived.
I got up on Saturday and got dressed to go out to TubaChristmas. I picked up my button, and found out that this was actually my 16th one to attend. The time sure has flown. Several of the attendees weren't even born when I started doing this. I was just learning Tuba then, so I didn't know bass clef or the fingerings very well then, now, 16 years later, I'm still struggling with fingerings on my C horn, since I previously only used the B-flat. I sucked, and I was proud of it.
Tank was there, and his mother was with him. There were a few others that I knew, like the guy from USC that is there every year, and Mike, who we call Trunk (long story) was there with his new kid. Tank and I usually go to shop at the Galleria after the performance, but this year, he had to get back to his wife, so I just went back home and did some computer upgrades...whoo, Panther!
Saturday was also the night of the company holiday party. I really didn't feel like going. I had no one to go with, and I didn't want to get dressed up for the whole thing. This year they stupidly named the dress code "holiday festive". What the hell was I supposed to wear for that? Normally the thing is formal, when we used to have it three years ago. Holiday festive to me could mean that I was supposed to show up in one of those old lady sweaters with a big christmas tree on it, but it could also mean that I should appear in just ribbon, christmas wrap and a bow. Hard to decide.
I had mentioned to my team last week that i felt like being a rebel and go in jeans and a T-shirt. I didn't do that, but I did put on a dress shirt, slacks and a tie. I didn't get into a full suit. Why should I be totally uncomfortable at a party i don't even want to be at.
The company hasn't thrown a party in quite a while, so there was a little interest in going, just to see what they would do. The party was in Houston's new downtown arena, The Toyota Center. Our company has 2,100 employees, and if all of them showed with their one guest that they were allowed, that's still just over 4,000 people. We rented out a 20,000 seat arena for 4,000. Yeah, that's not wasting money. There were open bars, and ice sculptures melting away. By the time I got there, some 3 hours into the party, the food was gone.
Parties like this are just a good excuse for women to overdress. Most of them were in their prom finest, and the guys, most of them never see a tie when they're in the office, all looked uncomfortable. I tried to move and mingle, but again I found myself distancing myself from the whole thing, looking at the architecture of a building I had never been in. I saw some of my team here and there, saying pleasantries, meeting the wives, most that I had met before, asking about the kids, when appropriate. The kind of appearance you put in just because you know it's the right thing to do. The cover band sucked, as you would expect. the company, which is involved in the mutual fund scandal that's going on right now, had yet again spent a wad of cash. hopefully it will pay off in employee morale.
I left about 45 minutes after I arrived. I felt lonely and tired. The Houston Area Bears social was also going on till midnight, but not only did I feel overdressed, but completely anti-social. Although the Bears social was on the way home, I couldn't bring myself to go there. I just drove around the park and went home and hit the bed. I know there were a couple of people who were disappointed that I didn't hop on AIM and Yahoo to chat, but really, I just wanted to be alone.
I'm not sure what it was. Perhaps I just felt bad that Chris couldn't be there. Other people had their significant others there, dancing, laughing, and I just wasn't there. All week I had been asked if Chris could make it. All week I had to say no. I guess I was already down on the party before I went. I really can't get into being social with the folks from work anymore. It's a part of the whole work thing. I feel I'm pulling back, not as involved. I don't enjoy working for the company anymore, so it's hard to like being around those people. Perhaps I'm just pulling away, getting ready for the day I leave. I almost wish they would have another round of layoffs.
As I drove home, I listened to the Charlie Brown Christmas album, probably one of the best Christmas albums ever. It's a light touch, not depressing, not overly joyous, and certainly not saccharine-sweet, just a nice, jazzy take on the season. Beats the new Harry Connick Jr. Christmas Album in spades.
Ahh, the depressing part of the season has arrived.
