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Bedtime Musings
Nov. 16th, 2003 12:31 pmI woke up in chris' bed this morning. Chris had already gone off to work...many hours ago. It was odd. I'd never really felt like the wife who was staying home when the husband went off to be the bread winner. Just an odd association.
Chris has to go to work at 6am. He'll be stocking and moving displays around to get the store ready for opening at noon. Most retail stores have shorter hours on Sunday, usually noon to 6. It's a lingering legacy of the Texas blue laws that kept the stores closed on Sundays. The laws were slowly repealed in the late 1980's, about the time I started working retail. I remember older workers got overtime for working Sundays for a few years to compensate for the day off they used to have. For consumers, Sundays are great, for those who have to work it...
Back to this morning. Chris wakes up, showers and gets dressed. His closet is next to where I'm sleeping, and being 5:15 in the morning, he needs to turn the light on. I'm mildly lucid, but I still have my CPAP mask on. Chris jumps into the closet flicking on the light and closing the door. I'm laughing at his attempt to be kind to me. I did have to tell him that it was nice, but unnecessary. Before he ran out the door he gave me a kiss, and I listened to him go through the rest of the house, and the car pulling out of the driveway, and fell back to sleep.
Strangely enough, the incident with the closet reminded me of something my mother did. Not that I'm equating Chris with my mother. If I did that, I think I need to start saving up for a lot of therapy bills.
My mom is a housewife, and has never really had to work. When my dad's business was failing, there were some really odd jobs that she took to try to help, none lasting more than a couple of months. Because she didn't have regular hours, she ended up developing a really strange schedule after Laura and I were getting older. Mom likes to nap in morning, after dad would go to work and before he main soap opera came on. This allowed her to stay up very, very late.
Mom had a thing for doing laundry every night. Since I was a bit of a night owl, she wouldn't even start until after I went to sleep, usually after midnight. Somewhere around 2am the hallway light would come on, mom would come in, turn on the closet light and hand up the clothes and put the folded clothes away. For the longest time this would wake me up, but eventually I learned to sleep through it.
Of course now I have to hang and fold my own clothes, but I do it about once a week.
Otherwise, Again it felt odd being left behind like that. It's not like Chris hasn't gone to work when I've been around before...I guess I'm just thinking too much. My sister's boyfriend, Ed asked me last night where I think this is going, and I said I think it's getting good, but as long as it's a long distance thing continues, it's really hard to know exactly what's going to come of it. I love Chris, and I want to be closer, and I'm working to make it happen.
Ed asked if I thought it was a was still at the dating stage or is it a long term deal. I think it could be long term, I think there's something here, but it's only been six months, and I need to spend a little more time on it. I guess that it's still such a new thing for me...there's still so many questions and experiences, that I need to get past a few things . It's not a lack of commitment, it's just a learning process.
I'll learn.
Chris has to go to work at 6am. He'll be stocking and moving displays around to get the store ready for opening at noon. Most retail stores have shorter hours on Sunday, usually noon to 6. It's a lingering legacy of the Texas blue laws that kept the stores closed on Sundays. The laws were slowly repealed in the late 1980's, about the time I started working retail. I remember older workers got overtime for working Sundays for a few years to compensate for the day off they used to have. For consumers, Sundays are great, for those who have to work it...
Back to this morning. Chris wakes up, showers and gets dressed. His closet is next to where I'm sleeping, and being 5:15 in the morning, he needs to turn the light on. I'm mildly lucid, but I still have my CPAP mask on. Chris jumps into the closet flicking on the light and closing the door. I'm laughing at his attempt to be kind to me. I did have to tell him that it was nice, but unnecessary. Before he ran out the door he gave me a kiss, and I listened to him go through the rest of the house, and the car pulling out of the driveway, and fell back to sleep.
Strangely enough, the incident with the closet reminded me of something my mother did. Not that I'm equating Chris with my mother. If I did that, I think I need to start saving up for a lot of therapy bills.
My mom is a housewife, and has never really had to work. When my dad's business was failing, there were some really odd jobs that she took to try to help, none lasting more than a couple of months. Because she didn't have regular hours, she ended up developing a really strange schedule after Laura and I were getting older. Mom likes to nap in morning, after dad would go to work and before he main soap opera came on. This allowed her to stay up very, very late.
Mom had a thing for doing laundry every night. Since I was a bit of a night owl, she wouldn't even start until after I went to sleep, usually after midnight. Somewhere around 2am the hallway light would come on, mom would come in, turn on the closet light and hand up the clothes and put the folded clothes away. For the longest time this would wake me up, but eventually I learned to sleep through it.
Of course now I have to hang and fold my own clothes, but I do it about once a week.
Otherwise, Again it felt odd being left behind like that. It's not like Chris hasn't gone to work when I've been around before...I guess I'm just thinking too much. My sister's boyfriend, Ed asked me last night where I think this is going, and I said I think it's getting good, but as long as it's a long distance thing continues, it's really hard to know exactly what's going to come of it. I love Chris, and I want to be closer, and I'm working to make it happen.
Ed asked if I thought it was a was still at the dating stage or is it a long term deal. I think it could be long term, I think there's something here, but it's only been six months, and I need to spend a little more time on it. I guess that it's still such a new thing for me...there's still so many questions and experiences, that I need to get past a few things . It's not a lack of commitment, it's just a learning process.
I'll learn.
