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The Crush...
Jan. 27th, 2003 11:54 pmI promise that this does not star Alicia Silverstone. Though, Cary Elwes can be really cute.
I was going to call him Mr. Crusher, but that's stupid and reminds me of Will Wheaton. For some reason I still feel like I must withhold his name. I don't have to, but there's something nice about being coy. Besides, you really can see him if you look for him.
Who is he? He's the man that I was thinking about when I had a good cry the other night. He's the crush of this post right here. He's not the reason for the bit o' breakdown, but it certainly is a log on the fire. I find him attractive and funny and fascinating. What else could you want?
Two things: To live closer, and to be available. He fails in those two areas by no fault of his own.
Now the big news. I've talked to him. Twice. I initiated it too. I spent a long time on Saturday night trying to decide whether I should IM him. I had another reason to say hi, anyway. Took me a long time, but I did it. We spoke, then he started questioning me about the entry. Despite my trying not to tell him that it was - well, him. I fended off a couple of questions, but he saw right through it. He reads my journal, and we've talked before. I think that subconsciously I wanted to contact him just to tell him, and after a few questions, the right one came.
The Crush: I keep wanting to ask something, but I don't want to press the issue. (smiley)
ME: Go Ahead.
The Crush: I was wondering if your (crush) was...me?
ME:Yes. (I had typed it in from the moment I sent Go Ahead, knowing what was coming)
The Crush: I didn't want to ask But you know, I'm...just badly nosy, (smiley) and extremely flattered.
So that's out of they way. The relief sent a few tears down my cheeks. I felt so vulnerable. I had been discovered - even though I had contacted him.
And now the let down. I already knew it was coming. He has someone else in his life. It's a very positive thing for him and he wants to see where it goes. I have no problem with that. Certainly he has the need to see how things will go with, well, I'll call him Mr. Smitten. He's not sure how it will go, but he's really excited about this relationship that's just starting.
Perfect timing for me. Well, I've had crushes go wrong before. I'm strong. Hey, I've only known him for about the time I've been on LJ - three months. Still, there is a silver lining. He likes what he knows about me, and says that the door isn't closed, but now is not the time. So I guess the door might be opened a little, but there's a screen door outside, and I'm on the porch.
There's a lot to be learned, but I do think that he's special. I want to go visit him where he lives, but it can't happen now. Maybe this summer - but if that happens, I've got to go see a baseball game and see yet another stadium! (maybe I'll get to them all by 2035)
And yes, it's still a crush. And for now that's it. All that it can be. There's still some secrets, but mystery can be fun. Do you really want to know who he is? ( Click here! )
I was going to call him Mr. Crusher, but that's stupid and reminds me of Will Wheaton. For some reason I still feel like I must withhold his name. I don't have to, but there's something nice about being coy. Besides, you really can see him if you look for him.
Who is he? He's the man that I was thinking about when I had a good cry the other night. He's the crush of this post right here. He's not the reason for the bit o' breakdown, but it certainly is a log on the fire. I find him attractive and funny and fascinating. What else could you want?
Two things: To live closer, and to be available. He fails in those two areas by no fault of his own.
Now the big news. I've talked to him. Twice. I initiated it too. I spent a long time on Saturday night trying to decide whether I should IM him. I had another reason to say hi, anyway. Took me a long time, but I did it. We spoke, then he started questioning me about the entry. Despite my trying not to tell him that it was - well, him. I fended off a couple of questions, but he saw right through it. He reads my journal, and we've talked before. I think that subconsciously I wanted to contact him just to tell him, and after a few questions, the right one came.
The Crush: I keep wanting to ask something, but I don't want to press the issue. (smiley)
ME: Go Ahead.
The Crush: I was wondering if your (crush) was...me?
ME:Yes. (I had typed it in from the moment I sent Go Ahead, knowing what was coming)
The Crush: I didn't want to ask But you know, I'm...just badly nosy, (smiley) and extremely flattered.
So that's out of they way. The relief sent a few tears down my cheeks. I felt so vulnerable. I had been discovered - even though I had contacted him.
And now the let down. I already knew it was coming. He has someone else in his life. It's a very positive thing for him and he wants to see where it goes. I have no problem with that. Certainly he has the need to see how things will go with, well, I'll call him Mr. Smitten. He's not sure how it will go, but he's really excited about this relationship that's just starting.
Perfect timing for me. Well, I've had crushes go wrong before. I'm strong. Hey, I've only known him for about the time I've been on LJ - three months. Still, there is a silver lining. He likes what he knows about me, and says that the door isn't closed, but now is not the time. So I guess the door might be opened a little, but there's a screen door outside, and I'm on the porch.
There's a lot to be learned, but I do think that he's special. I want to go visit him where he lives, but it can't happen now. Maybe this summer - but if that happens, I've got to go see a baseball game and see yet another stadium! (maybe I'll get to them all by 2035)
And yes, it's still a crush. And for now that's it. All that it can be. There's still some secrets, but mystery can be fun. Do you really want to know who he is? ( Click here! )
