The Bed That We Sleep In
Jun. 28th, 2004 08:23 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
eggwardsMom and Dad showed the new house to me last night. Smaller, but only by one bedroom. I'm so going to fill the guest bedroom with all of my crap that's still at their house. I guess it's not a big deal since Laura and I have both stated that we'll probably never stay there.
We went to dinner, a sort of make-up for father's day since I was out last weekend, and we went for steaks. Call me a cheapskate, but I was not having fun paying the $80 tab (and none of us ordered anything alcoholic). Personally, if a meal costs me more than $20 a plate, I'm not happy...
They asked me how work is going, which is OK, but I haven't told them that I'm looking elsewhere. Dad wasn't thrilled a while back when I said I might start looking. He's one of those who thinks if you have a good job you should be able to make a career out of it. Not what he did, but that's what he says. I think he romanticizes his father a bit much, Granddad Edwards was at the same brick plant for more than 35 years running the operation.
On the way to take them back home, after I got gas at the lowest-priced place I know ($1.68!) I mentioned that I was in the parade the night before. Mom, who was all in her 20 questions mode earlier in the evening, asking about Chris and how last week's TCC concert went, etc., was interested. Dad, not so much, but in my car they were a bit of a captive audience.
I told them about the route, and what was going on. I didn't tell them much about the Big Men's Club - heck, I haven't explained bears to them either, so I'm not really ready to explain sub cultures to them. I did mention, for Dad's benefit that I was just in a T-shirt and shorts, not some outlandish get up. I also mentioned all of the families that cam e out to see the show. It was nice to discuss this with them. Still think Dad was a little uneasy with it.
I also got to throw in a little history lesson, explaining that most parades are in June because of the Stonewall riots, and how that one bit of resistance took a small movement and jump started it into what we today. Still a ways to go with the folks, but I was happy to give them this little tidbit.
At their home, Mom told me that they had been talking about meeting Chris. (Well, more like my Mom has been talking to Dad about meeting him.) Mom took my sentiment that I didn't think Dad was ready and didn't come up for dinner when Chris was here for Memorial Day. Mom told me that they (read Mom) would like to meet Chris if I brought him up for dinner, but they didn't want to come to my apartment and see us there.
Huh?
Now, in the three years since I moved from Conroe to Houston, Mom and Dad have never seen my apartment, and have shown very little interest in doing so. Mom's made a mention occasionally, but not enough to do anything about it (and make me take down those male dress-up magnets). Still, I don't exactly know what having Chris over changes. Maybe the association of the bed and us? What in the world will you do when I move in with the man, huh? Strange.
I promise, if he's here, and you want to come to the apartment, I'll make the bed. Would that help? I see your bed all the time (of course, nothing's happened there for years).
Well, we take it a little at a time. Progress, even in small increments, is good.
We went to dinner, a sort of make-up for father's day since I was out last weekend, and we went for steaks. Call me a cheapskate, but I was not having fun paying the $80 tab (and none of us ordered anything alcoholic). Personally, if a meal costs me more than $20 a plate, I'm not happy...
They asked me how work is going, which is OK, but I haven't told them that I'm looking elsewhere. Dad wasn't thrilled a while back when I said I might start looking. He's one of those who thinks if you have a good job you should be able to make a career out of it. Not what he did, but that's what he says. I think he romanticizes his father a bit much, Granddad Edwards was at the same brick plant for more than 35 years running the operation.
On the way to take them back home, after I got gas at the lowest-priced place I know ($1.68!) I mentioned that I was in the parade the night before. Mom, who was all in her 20 questions mode earlier in the evening, asking about Chris and how last week's TCC concert went, etc., was interested. Dad, not so much, but in my car they were a bit of a captive audience.
I told them about the route, and what was going on. I didn't tell them much about the Big Men's Club - heck, I haven't explained bears to them either, so I'm not really ready to explain sub cultures to them. I did mention, for Dad's benefit that I was just in a T-shirt and shorts, not some outlandish get up. I also mentioned all of the families that cam e out to see the show. It was nice to discuss this with them. Still think Dad was a little uneasy with it.
I also got to throw in a little history lesson, explaining that most parades are in June because of the Stonewall riots, and how that one bit of resistance took a small movement and jump started it into what we today. Still a ways to go with the folks, but I was happy to give them this little tidbit.
At their home, Mom told me that they had been talking about meeting Chris. (Well, more like my Mom has been talking to Dad about meeting him.) Mom took my sentiment that I didn't think Dad was ready and didn't come up for dinner when Chris was here for Memorial Day. Mom told me that they (read Mom) would like to meet Chris if I brought him up for dinner, but they didn't want to come to my apartment and see us there.
Huh?
Now, in the three years since I moved from Conroe to Houston, Mom and Dad have never seen my apartment, and have shown very little interest in doing so. Mom's made a mention occasionally, but not enough to do anything about it (and make me take down those male dress-up magnets). Still, I don't exactly know what having Chris over changes. Maybe the association of the bed and us? What in the world will you do when I move in with the man, huh? Strange.
I promise, if he's here, and you want to come to the apartment, I'll make the bed. Would that help? I see your bed all the time (of course, nothing's happened there for years).
Well, we take it a little at a time. Progress, even in small increments, is good.
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no subject
Date: 2004-06-28 06:51 am (UTC)Yeah, I know that sentiment. I think my parents thought that a little bit when I broke the news I was moving to Madison. That's their mindset, their generation, and I admit, it was mine too. But that's not the state of today's economy. Make your career moves YOUR moves, not being the pawn of large faceless corporations.
But I have to say, my mom and sister have been REAL troopers about this, coming to help me clean and pack -- my sister's taking a day off work to help me when I have a garage sale.... and Mom said Dad wants to come up at least once more before I move....
I promise, if he's here, and you want to come to the apartment, I'll make the bed. Would that help? I see your bed all the time (of course, nothing's happened there for years).
HEHE, at least your parents sleep in the same bed. When my parents moved, my mom took one bedroom to herself, and my dad the other....
I don't ever want to get like that with Dave. Even if it ever gets to the point where we don't feel like "doing" anything, I want to feel the comfort of going to sleep beside him and waking up beside him.
no subject
Date: 2004-06-28 08:13 am (UTC)So you may have made your dad a little uneasy in the car; nothing wrong with that. Comes with the territory. If you back off from talking about this stuff, he'll never be at ease with it. I think you're doing a great job of educating your parents.
As for visiting you at home, my parents are the same way, and my dad doesn't even know I'm gay. I think they don't like to be reminded that I'm more my own person than their child now. I think in this case it doesn't matter that your partner is a man - I think they would react much the same way if it was a woman.
LOVE your new icon.
no subject
Date: 2004-06-28 08:48 am (UTC)Being on your turf would put them at a distinct disadvantage. Things seem to be moving fast for them and as things change, they're probably finding a need for familiarity.
Way to go!
no subject
Date: 2004-06-28 09:30 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-06-28 02:01 pm (UTC)On the other hand, Scott's mom is a frequent visitor to our place.
You never can tell with parents.
Maybe you and Chris could meet your mom for lunch without your dad since she seems ready.
Remember how long it took you to come out and feel comfortable with your sexuality. Give your parents the same amount of time to process all the emotions and feelings.
no subject
Date: 2004-06-28 02:36 pm (UTC)Wonder what the odds are of them coming up to Chris' place when you move up there? Seeing his massive stage of a bed? And all those lovely mirrors in the bathroom...
heh-heh-heh
no subject
Date: 2004-06-28 06:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-06-28 06:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-06-28 07:30 pm (UTC)Chris, you get the other ear...
no subject
Date: 2004-06-28 08:58 pm (UTC)I'll never be safe again...(and I don't wanna be!)
I confess: I'm sitting in my hotel room alone remember that night/morning and its associated sensations. Somehow, adding an audience and camera makes me giggle. But, then there'd be documentation of the arc, since I had my eyes closed.
no subject
Date: 2004-06-28 09:39 pm (UTC)