eggwards: (Xmasbear)
[personal profile] eggwards
Several months back, as [livejournal.com profile] bobaloo was picking up some supplies for TBRU, he remarked how funny it was that the "adult novelties" all seemed to have other names to make them sound like they are something completely non-sexual. For some reason, the prudes of the state of Texas long ago felt that if people weren't aware that they couldn't stick a "cake topper" up their various orifices and get some sort of obviously "perverted pleasure" from it, society could be a better place.

Of course, a "cake topper" isn't to accurately portray male genitalia, because if a "cake topper" happened to look like Jeff Stryker's wang, it might send our pure citizens into convulsions, or worse, the enveloping arms of hedonistic lust.

Today I found a new example of such sinful craziness that still occurs in our pure, chaste Texan cities and towns. You can read about it HERE.

Remember, what you don't know about is all for your ultimate good.

Date: 2003-12-17 11:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] garebear.livejournal.com
Bush was governor, and you voted for him for president? I'm beginning to believe that Texas is a scary place...

But, hey, who am I to judge. I'm writing to the Texas legislature right now and asking them change the names of the genitals to something less sexual...Instead of penis I'm going to call it a turkey baster and we'll replace the word vagina with cheese grater.

My God! What if I ever visited Texas and enjoyed trombone playing? What would happen if some man roofed my turkey baster, or I put my turkey baster in his bubble gum wrapper (of course using cinder blocks for disease prevention). But they'd never stop me from getting a xylophone so could heighten our trombone playing pleasure.

Date: 2003-12-18 06:59 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] eggwards.livejournal.com
You got your Chocolate in my Peanut Butter!

Date: 2003-12-18 09:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] garebear.livejournal.com
You got Peanut Butter on my Chocolate!

Was it as good for you as it was for me?

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