Cool Chocolate Shakes and Grandmothers
Nov. 27th, 2002 11:30 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
eggwardsSo, since I'm going to my friend's house for early Thanksgiving, and then to my Parents after that, I'm staying at my apartment tonight. Jeff, Paul and Spencer have already left for their homes. I watched Birds of Prey, which I think is a great show...too bad they already canceled it. Then I watched South Park.
And then it came .. the urge... the urge for a Chocolate Shake. Unlike many people, I never took to coffee, so instead of Starbucks, it's Baskin Robbins. There's both in a 5 block radius. I almost chose to go for hot chocolate because it's actually cool here in Texas (most of you will laugh, but 44 degrees is pretty cool around here).
So, I get my shake before B-R closes, and decide to drive around for a while. I love to drive when there's no traffic and explore new parts of the city. I do some of my best thinking in the car.
I was driving around a neighborhood that had a lantern light in front of each house. Strangely, no one had Christmas lights on yet. It was interesting that these lights were to give character and a sense of security to the area, but they were so dime, that they actually did neither.
The neighborhood - which had nice homes built in the late '60s/early '70s (Houston Boom Time) reminded me of going to the Grandparent's houses in Dallas for the holidays. We usually saw them a few times a year, but it was still special.
My grandfathers died about a year apart in 1977-78. My sister and I were still pretty young, so they kept us away from the funeral. I can only remember vague impressions of those two men.
Then, last year, my father's mother Gram, past away in a long, lingering battle with cancer. The family was on death watch (to put it cruelly) for three months as we watched her wither away. I drove to Dallas every weekend for for a while. About the mid point of the wait, we didn't expect her to ever recognize or speak to us again, and I said my goodbye to drive back to Houston. I said "I love you" and she quietly croaked back the same in response - which was the last anyone ever heard from her. I bawled for two hours straight in another room (I'm tearing up now).
(funny thing is that I knew it was coming. my dog, Fritz died a few months before she did. I was very sad, but I knew that it was all a set-up for what was to come.)
I served as a pallbearer - and cried then too.
This year, my maternal grandmother died as well. We just called her Grandmom. Same thing, cancer. It was like living the whole experience over again. She just wanted to have a remembrance service, and there was no casket, as she wanted her body donated to science. The closure didn't seem quite the same as it did with Gram. Strange.
So- to drop to the point of this long ramble, It's the first holiday season without any of my grandparents. No phone calls, no $25 checks (long gone are the days of the new Star Wars toys). Now that love is only in my memory - but it's alive in it's own way. It's just a different family vibe. I guess that's why I'm upset at my mother for not taking a little more time with Thanksgiving this year.
I'll get over it. but it's like being in a whole new world. Sadly, now thoughts start turning to when my parents will leave as well. Time's ticking.
Stay safe this Thanksgiving everyone. Time is precious. Enjoy a chocolate shake.
And then it came .. the urge... the urge for a Chocolate Shake. Unlike many people, I never took to coffee, so instead of Starbucks, it's Baskin Robbins. There's both in a 5 block radius. I almost chose to go for hot chocolate because it's actually cool here in Texas (most of you will laugh, but 44 degrees is pretty cool around here).
So, I get my shake before B-R closes, and decide to drive around for a while. I love to drive when there's no traffic and explore new parts of the city. I do some of my best thinking in the car.
I was driving around a neighborhood that had a lantern light in front of each house. Strangely, no one had Christmas lights on yet. It was interesting that these lights were to give character and a sense of security to the area, but they were so dime, that they actually did neither.
The neighborhood - which had nice homes built in the late '60s/early '70s (Houston Boom Time) reminded me of going to the Grandparent's houses in Dallas for the holidays. We usually saw them a few times a year, but it was still special.
My grandfathers died about a year apart in 1977-78. My sister and I were still pretty young, so they kept us away from the funeral. I can only remember vague impressions of those two men.
Then, last year, my father's mother Gram, past away in a long, lingering battle with cancer. The family was on death watch (to put it cruelly) for three months as we watched her wither away. I drove to Dallas every weekend for for a while. About the mid point of the wait, we didn't expect her to ever recognize or speak to us again, and I said my goodbye to drive back to Houston. I said "I love you" and she quietly croaked back the same in response - which was the last anyone ever heard from her. I bawled for two hours straight in another room (I'm tearing up now).
(funny thing is that I knew it was coming. my dog, Fritz died a few months before she did. I was very sad, but I knew that it was all a set-up for what was to come.)
I served as a pallbearer - and cried then too.
This year, my maternal grandmother died as well. We just called her Grandmom. Same thing, cancer. It was like living the whole experience over again. She just wanted to have a remembrance service, and there was no casket, as she wanted her body donated to science. The closure didn't seem quite the same as it did with Gram. Strange.
So- to drop to the point of this long ramble, It's the first holiday season without any of my grandparents. No phone calls, no $25 checks (long gone are the days of the new Star Wars toys). Now that love is only in my memory - but it's alive in it's own way. It's just a different family vibe. I guess that's why I'm upset at my mother for not taking a little more time with Thanksgiving this year.
I'll get over it. but it's like being in a whole new world. Sadly, now thoughts start turning to when my parents will leave as well. Time's ticking.
Stay safe this Thanksgiving everyone. Time is precious. Enjoy a chocolate shake.
