eggwards | Cleaning Day

It's Sunday, usually the day I'm cleaning the apartment. I've got the dishwasher running, the bathroom awaits, and there's a pile of laundry, too.

What's going through my mind, though, is John T (I'm going to add an initial to differentiate him from John Bland). I e-mailed John T with some thoughts a few days ago, and I haven't heard anything back from him. I'm afraid that I may have scared him off, since my naivety and enthusiasm have gotten the best of me.

I wrote him saying how much I enjoyed our time together the other weekend (though I would have like it if he could have spent more time together, it seemed that most of it was bedroom time). Then I pulled the stupid one, and outright asked where this was headed - friend - f-buddies - some romance? Perhaps I shouldn't have done that.

If it hasn't been clear, I'm really a newby to a lot of this. I've been out to friends, but not involved much. I don't go out too much, and haven't been involved with many guys, so I'm not always sure how to act, what to do, etc. It's a total Chasing Amy situation where the guy gets involved with the more experienced and daring (guy) and manages to fuck up the whole thing. I'm already scared I've fucked it up, because my expectations are bigger that John T's.

As usual, I feel inexperienced and juvenile (for lack of a better word).

I feel like e-mailing John T again, but that seems so desperate. Again, I could just be reading way to much into this.