The Icon Speaks
Apr. 1st, 2003 09:15 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
eggwardsNow that the entire city of Dallas, and all of her visitors have worshipped at my feet, it's time to set a few things right:
1. All asian restaurants need to be closed, now, permanently. Yes, Pho, Sushi, seschuan (spelling isn't important, because they are closed) Dog, whatever, all closed, Forever.
The Icon has decreed it.
2. All hot Bears will now move to Houston, to create a beartopia. Stop bitching about the heat and humidity, there's air-conditioning, sweetie. All Bear, all the time in this city.
Everyone pack up, it's time to move. The Icon has decreed it.
3. The Icon gets his pick. You're all going to be in my city anyway. I'll get around to most of you. Most.
Again, Icon. Decreed.
4. All Major League Baseball players now play for me. Their salaries are reduced to regular, working class levels, and I get all of the benefits. I also get shower cam rights.
TIHDI.
5. My apartment needs help. The Icon can't live this way. A high-rise penthouse and lake house will be made available, IMMEDIATELY.
The Icon has Decreed It.
6. All of my favorite cancelled television shows will now be put back into production, and when appropriate, the roles will be played by hot, hairy bears, who like Captain Kirk in the original Star Trek, will lose their shirts as much as possible. Personally I'm looking forward to the return of the Six Million Dollar Man, and the all nude MST3K, hosted by Mike J. Nelson.
Yep, you guessed it.
7. Dance. I command you to.
The Icon commanded you...do it.
8. Those parking spots are mine. Screw pregnant women. Oh, that already happened, didn't it.
Still, prime, A-List parking for the Icon. It is decreed.
9. You will all wait on proper recaps of the weekend with baited breath. There isn't time now, but the New Bear Icon and his new friend John (who will promptly move to Houston with all others) is pictures, as he should be, on BearFilms.com (see the right column, second row here).
The proper recap will be available this evening to everyone but Tom, because the Icon is feeling charitable.
10. Everyone will have a fantastic APRIL FOOLS DAY.
The Icon Decrees It.
Huzzah!
1. All asian restaurants need to be closed, now, permanently. Yes, Pho, Sushi, seschuan (spelling isn't important, because they are closed) Dog, whatever, all closed, Forever.
The Icon has decreed it.
2. All hot Bears will now move to Houston, to create a beartopia. Stop bitching about the heat and humidity, there's air-conditioning, sweetie. All Bear, all the time in this city.
Everyone pack up, it's time to move. The Icon has decreed it.
3. The Icon gets his pick. You're all going to be in my city anyway. I'll get around to most of you. Most.
Again, Icon. Decreed.
4. All Major League Baseball players now play for me. Their salaries are reduced to regular, working class levels, and I get all of the benefits. I also get shower cam rights.
TIHDI.
5. My apartment needs help. The Icon can't live this way. A high-rise penthouse and lake house will be made available, IMMEDIATELY.
The Icon has Decreed It.
6. All of my favorite cancelled television shows will now be put back into production, and when appropriate, the roles will be played by hot, hairy bears, who like Captain Kirk in the original Star Trek, will lose their shirts as much as possible. Personally I'm looking forward to the return of the Six Million Dollar Man, and the all nude MST3K, hosted by Mike J. Nelson.
Yep, you guessed it.
7. Dance. I command you to.
The Icon commanded you...do it.
8. Those parking spots are mine. Screw pregnant women. Oh, that already happened, didn't it.
Still, prime, A-List parking for the Icon. It is decreed.
9. You will all wait on proper recaps of the weekend with baited breath. There isn't time now, but the New Bear Icon and his new friend John (who will promptly move to Houston with all others) is pictures, as he should be, on BearFilms.com (see the right column, second row here).
The proper recap will be available this evening to everyone but Tom, because the Icon is feeling charitable.
10. Everyone will have a fantastic APRIL FOOLS DAY.
The Icon Decrees It.
Huzzah!
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no subject
Date: 2003-04-01 07:55 am (UTC)Okay, so now I'm dancing my way to Houston with tapes of my all-bear 6 Million Dollar Man episodes, and bringing Kevin Millar along for the ride. Yum.
Trumpy, you can do magic things!