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eggwardsThe other night I was out late and I needed dinner, so I went to good old Whataburger close to my apartment. Generally this is an out of the way location and is often empty, even when other locations would be full. Maybe this is because it is next to a 24 Hour Fitness location.
I pulled in and saw that the parking lot was fuller than normal, and there seemed to be several teens outside the location. After walking in, I noticed that one whole side was taken up by several more. After I ordered and sat down, and even larger group strolled in. So now the group was around 30 and of course, not all of them were eating.
There were a couple of girls with cheerleading outfits on, they had letters on that spelled SBS, or Second Baptist School. The large christian campus is nearby, and has a school. I had forgotten that they have a football team that plays other religious schools in the area, and apparently the game had let out, and here were some of the students, of course without their parents.
Here I was eating my burger and reading My Queer Life by Michael Thomas Ford. I'm not sure if this was really the best situation, but I had this feeling...and I get it often when I'm in a room of people from a christian organization...that I just want to jump up and waive a rainbow flag. I'm not sure why this is. I'm wondering if this may partially be from coming out so late, or just a frustration with fundamentalist society.
I watched the spoiled brats for a bit. I say that without irony, these are definitely privileged kids who don't know how good that they have it. It's just like those kids on that awful show on MTV, My Super Sweet Sixteen. Kids, you're parents are spending a lot of money to keep you sequestered from a lot of the world's ills, too bad that for most of you it will take years if you ever come to your senses.
Still, as I thought about it, There really wasn't a reason to jump out and be Mr. Hairy Fag to these people, heck, they may be more open to it than their parents, or their grandparents, but I'll never know, because I'll never know these kids. who knows if they are really fundamentalists like their school wants them to be, or not.
I'd probably just color myself worse if I did have a rainbow flag hidden somewhere on my person, being the big, in-your-face faggot. Sometimes being the normal out guy, like I am at work is the better way to change perception. You never know, some kid in that Whataburger might have noticed the book I was reading and figured it out, or not, but still, if any of them were to know, hopefully I put on a decent face...if you can call a guy who's alone at a Whataburger at 11pm a great role-model.
Of course it did cross my mind that really, doing or saying anything could get me in far more trouble than I could handle, too. I recently heard that the men who beat up and left for dead Houston citizen Paul Broussard back in the early 90's were up for parole this week. Those men were in high school in the Woodlands when they found their target, looking for a gay man to beat up one night. Again, sometimes you have to think.
So no, there was no big show. I'd have no idea what it would have been if I actually would ever do something like that, but I guess we always have to think about when and where we come out, whether to be proud of ourselves, or to prove to the world what being homosexual is all about. I know that sometimes I want a parade to happen, and it doesn't come, but that's just because I don't want to feel alone, like I did in that restaurant. Perhaps another reason we come out is just to find our place in the world.
As a light addendum to this, one little remarkable thing happened tonight that kind of set my National Coming Out Day for me. I went over to Jerry's (![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
goofycubb) to see tonight's Amazing Race episode and he had a guest staying over from New Braunsfels. As we got to talking, Tim was telling me that he used to live in Houston and grew up in the Woodlands. I mentioned that I had grown up in Conroe.
Suddenly there was something there...a recognition. he asked me when I graduated high school and I told him, one year before he entered, but the connection really rolled in when we talked about where we lived, a block away from each other! I said, "What's your last name?" "Bratcher," he said. Suddenly I was bowled over. Tim Bratcher was not only here, but a bear.
If I had only known this several years ago. I'm telling you, he's cute now, but it would have helped to have known him several years ago. Apparently he was much more able to come out in school and part of it is that he went to the new school, and not redneck Conroe High.
So we ended up talking for a while, especially how my family's ownership of a computer back in the early 80's helped him pick the career he has today. It's interesting the lives you touch, and you barely know it.
I pulled in and saw that the parking lot was fuller than normal, and there seemed to be several teens outside the location. After walking in, I noticed that one whole side was taken up by several more. After I ordered and sat down, and even larger group strolled in. So now the group was around 30 and of course, not all of them were eating.
There were a couple of girls with cheerleading outfits on, they had letters on that spelled SBS, or Second Baptist School. The large christian campus is nearby, and has a school. I had forgotten that they have a football team that plays other religious schools in the area, and apparently the game had let out, and here were some of the students, of course without their parents.
Here I was eating my burger and reading My Queer Life by Michael Thomas Ford. I'm not sure if this was really the best situation, but I had this feeling...and I get it often when I'm in a room of people from a christian organization...that I just want to jump up and waive a rainbow flag. I'm not sure why this is. I'm wondering if this may partially be from coming out so late, or just a frustration with fundamentalist society.
I watched the spoiled brats for a bit. I say that without irony, these are definitely privileged kids who don't know how good that they have it. It's just like those kids on that awful show on MTV, My Super Sweet Sixteen. Kids, you're parents are spending a lot of money to keep you sequestered from a lot of the world's ills, too bad that for most of you it will take years if you ever come to your senses.
Still, as I thought about it, There really wasn't a reason to jump out and be Mr. Hairy Fag to these people, heck, they may be more open to it than their parents, or their grandparents, but I'll never know, because I'll never know these kids. who knows if they are really fundamentalists like their school wants them to be, or not.
I'd probably just color myself worse if I did have a rainbow flag hidden somewhere on my person, being the big, in-your-face faggot. Sometimes being the normal out guy, like I am at work is the better way to change perception. You never know, some kid in that Whataburger might have noticed the book I was reading and figured it out, or not, but still, if any of them were to know, hopefully I put on a decent face...if you can call a guy who's alone at a Whataburger at 11pm a great role-model.
Of course it did cross my mind that really, doing or saying anything could get me in far more trouble than I could handle, too. I recently heard that the men who beat up and left for dead Houston citizen Paul Broussard back in the early 90's were up for parole this week. Those men were in high school in the Woodlands when they found their target, looking for a gay man to beat up one night. Again, sometimes you have to think.
So no, there was no big show. I'd have no idea what it would have been if I actually would ever do something like that, but I guess we always have to think about when and where we come out, whether to be proud of ourselves, or to prove to the world what being homosexual is all about. I know that sometimes I want a parade to happen, and it doesn't come, but that's just because I don't want to feel alone, like I did in that restaurant. Perhaps another reason we come out is just to find our place in the world.
As a light addendum to this, one little remarkable thing happened tonight that kind of set my National Coming Out Day for me. I went over to Jerry's (
goofycubb) to see tonight's Amazing Race episode and he had a guest staying over from New Braunsfels. As we got to talking, Tim was telling me that he used to live in Houston and grew up in the Woodlands. I mentioned that I had grown up in Conroe.Suddenly there was something there...a recognition. he asked me when I graduated high school and I told him, one year before he entered, but the connection really rolled in when we talked about where we lived, a block away from each other! I said, "What's your last name?" "Bratcher," he said. Suddenly I was bowled over. Tim Bratcher was not only here, but a bear.
If I had only known this several years ago. I'm telling you, he's cute now, but it would have helped to have known him several years ago. Apparently he was much more able to come out in school and part of it is that he went to the new school, and not redneck Conroe High.
So we ended up talking for a while, especially how my family's ownership of a computer back in the early 80's helped him pick the career he has today. It's interesting the lives you touch, and you barely know it.
