Send It To Zune

There’s nothing worse than trying to launch the next cool device than having Bill Gates in a brown coat made to match the color of your music player (the coat actually has the Zune logo embroidered on it) Well, you could also add an unknown Seattle DJ.

Microsoft launched the Zune this morning. It’s their iPod rival, or at least they hope it is. They are spending a great deal of money to get this initial product off the ground.

Bill Gates is not a hipster, no one sees the man, who’s looking a little more like the Simpson’s Mr. Burns here, as a guy who hangs with Bono – except when Bono needs some more cash to fund a charity. Kids are not down with Bill Gates.

Really, Steve Jobs is much more rock-star like, and the events show it. Apple events tend to feature John Mayer or Alicia Keys. This morning’s Microsoft event featured the Secret Machines. Really, not a bad pickup, but then not big news, either.

Sure, a potential Zune or iPod buyer probably doesn’t care about Steve Jobs either, but who would you rather have at your product announcement? Gates should have given the spotlight over to Ryan Seacrest, who has more clout with the youngsters, or perhaps Mark McGrath, former Sugar Ray singer and Xtra host on TV. If they weren’t available, how about John Hodgeman, the PC guy in those Mac ads?

Chris and I were out at Target last night and they were setting up the display for the device that included two tied-down non-working mockups of the device. They looked like bricks with a screen, and the brown one looks…well, as ABC is calling their new gameshow, shat-tastic.

I could go on and on about how it’s a Toshiba Gigabeat player in Microsoft clothing, or how the file-sharing feature is hopelessly crippled, at least at launch, but here’s one of my problems with the device. It doesn’t have the address book. I don’t know how often I use the address book in my iPod. Of course it syncs up to my Mac’s address book pretty easily. The Zune also won’t play games, and at this time there’s no TV shows or podcasts available for it.

I also think the name is dumb…it’s supposed to sound like tune, but with a crazy z, which apparently is the next “X” thing. Now I thought the iPod was a dumb name as well, but Apple at least had the foresight to think that the device might be used for more than just music.

Still, Microsoft has a record of throwing enough money at a problem to eventually make something of it. The old joke is that it takes MS the third release to get it right. Eventually, Zune could hit the right group of features and start selling. Still they will probably never catch up with the engineering style that Apple has.

My big question is why start out with a 30gb model? . Truly it’s the 4 and 8gb iPod nanos that sell the best, moving many more units than the full-featured video iPods. I guess that you couldn’t get the Zune’s big “feature”, the crippled wireless music sharing, into that small of a package.

Don't get me started on the scam that is Microsoft Points. Remember the scheme to make money in Office Space?

For now, the Zune looks like a pretty boring device, but Microsoft has been chafing watching Apple steal away the lead in converging media and hardware. Microsoft knows that they must work harder to make sure they sell more copies of Windows Media Edition, and re-establish Windows Media Player as the dominate player. Having iTunes take that away is bad for Microsoft’s business. Now with Apple prepared to offer it’s own video solution next year, it’s even more important for Bill to get back some market share.

I’ve always found it interesting that Microsoft keeps trying to be a media company, but never seems to know how to implement it, whether it’s with MSN, MSNBC, or with the opinion site, Slate (now owned by the Washington Post). Microsoft wants to be a part of it, but never can establish the cool factor that would bring partners along. Microsoft, and Gates are always seen as the nerdy coders in the backroom, while Apple hangs out with Beck.

Still, Microsoft will buy or control what it can to have its place at the party, much like Anna Nicole’s former husband. He may not have the looks, but he’ll eventually get the girl.

Welcome to the Social, Bill. Now we’ll all be waiting to see what the rockstar has up his sleeve.