Wishin' and Coughin'

Last night I had a thoroughly enjoyable evening having dinner and watching American Idol and The Amazing Race with Jerry (goofycubb). I was hoping for Paula Abdul to totally break down, but unfortunately she sort of kept it together. The only thing that was troubling my night was the nasty cold that I've caught somewhere and is driving me crazy.

I don't know what it is this past year, but suddenly I've been more susceptible to colds than normal. Usually I'd get one cold a year and be done with it, but this past few months it seems to be hitting every couple of months. This current one is really annoying. I'm one of those guys who doesn't like taking cold medication. It's part machismo, part distrust, and part the fact that I don't like feeling like I did last night as I was driving home from Jerry's house, like my mind is locked up in a piece of luggage that's been unclaimed on the turntable back at Hobby Airport.

The fun part is that it's hard to sleep. When you sleep with a CPAP it's a wonderful thing to have the air trying to push back the mucus that's trying to leave your nose, and it drains into your throat. It's counter to what your body is trying to do. You end up coughing more.

Of course, it's well known that I'm happy to share my sickness with everyone at work. Personally, unless I'm feeling too bad to work, I should be there. Sick days are for fun, aren't they? Just kidding. I'm just stubborn like that. I do have to be on my deathbed, though. A cold rarely calls for it. Still, I will be on medication, so I'll be kind of out of it. It always makes life more interesting.

I noticed that I wrote a comment to a friend on Monday when I was on the good cold meds, and man, it was the most rambling, messed up paragraphs ever - much more than this is. I guess I should be embarrassed, but he responded as if he understood it. Sad thing is, I didn't.

I'll try to get my rest tonight.

Just another observation, the new Honda Ridgeline truck is so damned ugly. My god, some companies shouldn't try making a truck.

The Positively True Adventures of the Texas Cheerleading Censoring Legislature

Sure, our Texas schools are underfunded by a funding scheme that's bankrupting both school districts and property owners, as well as the demands placed by President Bush's No child Left Behind policies. The state also has needed child welfare reforms, currently held up due to a dispute over gay foster parents and tax appraisal reform and health care reform, but all that pales in comparison to one, leading issue that has caught our diligent legislature's attention.

Yes, the fall of western civilization his that much closer to being averted now that the Texas House has passed a bill to stop the lewd activities happening at football halftimes. those little tramps of the gridiron are in the spotlight. Finally someone's standing up to put a stop to those sexually suggestive routines that these little high school harlots do.

That young blonde chick with the rose petals won't be tempting Kevin Spacey anymore, at least in Texas. Not that we were really worried.

Well, that's probably a bad example, but it is true. The legislature, showing that time is meant to be wasted, and making moral judgments is better than having to create vital legislation, really did pass a lewd cheerleading bill in the House on Tuesday. The bill affects school drill teams, cheerleaders and even bands, but luckily won't be affecting their college and professional role models, such as the famous Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders. The Cowboys squad, famous for putting the sizzle into pro football.

Luckily it also won't affect the Strangerettes.

Of course the legislature must step in where society, and of course responsible parents fear to tread. The bill, with still must be sent to the state senate would allow the Texas State Education Association to - well - that's the problem. While it prohibits the little promising hoochie mamas from infecting our culture, it doesn't say what the the specifically prohibited behavior is or how it is to be penalized when students or schools cross the boundaries of good taste. Harsher language, including a provision denying funding to schools that allow the practice to continue, was stripped from the bill. Suddenly the shaky ground of "community standards" returns.

Of course, Representative Al Edwards (D-Houston, no relation) wants us to think of the children. "Why allow young girls 12, 13, 18 to be exploited like that?" he said. He connected the lewd shows and suggestive musics that accompanies it to the social atmosphere that leads to low test scores, criminal behavior, and teen sex and pregnancy.

What he's railing against is both sexy moves, such bump-and grind moves that have been seen not only in movies like Bring It On, but also in many music videos that mimic men's club dancers, but also cheerleading outfits that have gotten smaller, tighter, and more revealing. Some of this is blamed on older coaches bringing in clothing and moves that are age-inappropriate but also from the cheerleaders themselves who are influenced by popular culture.

"You can't legislate morality. This is a ridiculous bill. It's stupid and it's insulting," said Rep. Senfronia Thompson, a fellow Houston Democrat. "It's an embarrassment and indictment of this body that this kind of garbage has reached the floor of this House."

Rep. Rene Oliver, D-Brownsville, said it created "thought police" who could "decide for the rest of Texas" what is sexual and what is not. Critics also said it insulted a sport that is respectable and requires great athletic skill.

The proposed legislation is not popular with the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU). The Director of the ACLU, Will Harrell, speaking to ABC Sports said the new bill reminds him of the former Afghanistan regime, the Talaban. "This broad, morally restrictive legislation reminds me of the Taliban," he said. "Why not go all the way? Why not require them all to wear a burqa?"

The National Cheerleading Association is also unhappy with the legislation, and is based in Dallas. The association was founded in 1948 by Lawrence Herkimer, the cheerleader from Southern Methodist University credited with creating the pompom and the spirit stick. Perhaps they can offer censors to their services.

Of course Texas, is also the home to crazy cheerleader moms like Wanda Holloway, who was accused of hiring a hitman to murder the mother of anther girl who was competing with her daughter for the local squad. If parents are a little blind to what their daughters are doing, perhaps they don't totally realize what they are doing themselves.

Still others state that there are many responsible parties and it's only a few bad schools/drill teams that are the troublemakers. There's also the added pressure on the teams to prove themselves, as most schools demand extra curricular teams to compete interscholastically. School and instructor success are often based on the team's competition, so the pressure is on to have the edge.

Unfortunately there seems to be a lesser pressure on the state representatives to act in a responsible and time-efficient manner.

When the measure was finally passed, legislators waived pompoms as someone played Tom Jones' You Sexy Thing across the house floor, yet Representative Edwards, also holding a pompom, stated it was a "very serious bill".

No state senator has agreed to enter the bill in the senate at this time.