Under A Tucson Sun: Part 2: Wet Stuff

A few other stories from Fiesta de los Osos...

Water

The pool of course, is the meeting ground, both above and in the water. The pool is heated, but I still find it a little cold to be in for a long period of time. One afternoon I was doing laps to stay warm. The pool in winter stays mostly in the shade due to the suns low angle in the sky. This was also the afternoon their was a couple that brought their labradors to the pool. Those labs, Lucy and Desdemona, were looking longingly at the water for more than an hour. Several guys in the pool were giving the pups a lot of attention, including other dog owners like CJ (prowlerbear) and Charlie.

Eventually one of their papas (who was pretty hot) brought them into the pool, one at a time. They really didn't want to do more than be carried around in the pool, but the did want to be in the water, and get the attention of all the boys. One of the dogs was brought towards me for a couple of pats, and she then paddled towards me, and proceeded to put her paws up on me and worked up my chest to try to find a perch on my shoulders so I could carry her! She was a lovely dog, but she really wanted to be held, more than she wanted to swim.

Still, it's always cold getting out and running to your hotel room from that pool.

The pool area also has a hot tub. I'm sure that any other time of the year, even when the hotel is busy (which I guess when there's a PGA tournament nearby or something) there's probably no more than five or six people in that hot tub. Still, the bears manage to get 20 in there. It also manages to put out a fair amount of foam for some reason. I tend to get a little shy when the number of people gets over 10 in that tub.

I also know they clean that tub in the morning, and they managed to clean it again in the evening at dinner time a couple of times. Still, late in the afternoon, when the timer would stop, you might notice that the water would have a rather, unpleasant color. I decided early on to limit my hot tub experiences to the morning hours. No matter how cool the pool got later in the afternoon, I really couldn't bring myself to swim in the bear broth that had been boiling in the hot tub.

Monday morning they were pulling the gel off that had formed, I think.

Pie

I almost didn't do the Pie ceremony. I was kind of feeling out of it, and my back was bothering me from doing a lot of standing around and talking, but I got pulled into it from the peer pressure of having the other boys do it too. In doing it, I got to talk more with Cameron (handlebear) on the way out, and sat with him and our ringleader for the event, Paul (bigredpaul), so I got a sort of back stage pass. Cameron asked me how I was doing so far, sort of doing a mid-run check of my psyche, and I really was doing pretty well.

Pie is what it is. It was smaller this year than last, probably because Paul had initially called it off, but other people had urged him to do it again. He announced that this was going to be the last one, after eight years, so I'm glad I had a chance to do it, but I'm sure someone would say it wasn't what it was, but there's always someone who will say that. Really the event is more the walk and the spending time with people than it is the pie itself.

Paul says the message is that Pie is Love, but I'd say that it's the coming together of people of people over pie is the real magic. So if there's a replacement, that's what needs to happen, something that brings people together. Especially because the walk back gave me a nice chance to have a conversation with Bill (blakes_7), that was nice.

Bukkake

Several of us were talking after a meal one evening, and developed a close circle. There was a chair in the middle of that circle and eventually, someone got the idea that it was perfect for a bukkake scene. Of course we were joking, but the joke was carried far enough that Steve, Kevin's partner and president of the Bears of the Old Pueblo got into the middle of the circle and sat in the chair for a bit. Everyone remained fully clothed, but we did close ranks around him.

Needless to say, we were laughing and being loud and causing a scene. Typical us. I remember Matty, Jeff, Sean, Trey, Stephen, Pete and a few others being around. Sean has pictures. Eventually Steve came up for air and the crowd around gave this big holler as Steve made a big fake wipe of his face. It was too good.


Alright. I still haven't covered Catchphrase and Doorway to Hatred....so there's still a little bit more. Dang.

Under A Tucson Sun - Part 3: Assorted Sunniness

Finishing up my Tucson thoughts for Fiesta de los Osos 2005

Trekking the Desert

Last year I didn't do a tour.  Still the idea of getting out and going to the Arizona-Sonora Desert Museum didn't sound like a winner at first, but the tour proved to be very good.  Alex (darke) and Jay (jaybear) were along for the ride, and Kevin (sonoranbear) led the tour.  Of course you know he had led the tour several times before, but he really does know his stuff about the plant life in the desert.  He made the tour very interesting.  Still, I couldn't help myself mimicking the Alamo tourist saying "a-dough-bee" after Jan Hook's tour guide asks then to say Adobe with her in "Pee-Wee's Big Adventure, when Kevin explained about the architecture of many of the older structures in the area.

The center itself, open since the 50's is a combination of nature preserve and zoo, with animal exhibits of bears and javalenas and cyotes and mountain lions and such. Borrowing on the retiree population, they had several volunteers doing presentations of various things along the few miles of paths.  The lady talking about Raptors, holding her hawk had all of us mesmerized, and of course, she was a bit fascinated with our own group, asking what we were all doing there, as she could tell from our Bear Identification Tags(tm) that we were from all parts of the country.  I always find it amusing as people try to talk their way out of trying to explain a Bear Run.   Someone in the van said it was the demented Promise Keepers.

The best thing was the cave exhibit that had been built there.  It was pretty real with stalactites and stalagmites that looked as real as any I had seen elsewhere.  The had some of the animals that would live in those environs there, as well as information about mining and the minerals of the region.  Of course a good part of it was dark, and actually attracted real bats.  From our group there were several mentions that there was a familiar feeling, and I mentioned that with the inclusion of some thumping music and some booze, most of us should feel right at home.  Hey there, come to the cave often?

Utilikilts

While I wore the new leather suspenders on Friday night, I pulled out Kip's kilt on Saturday night, and found I may have actually gained a little weight, damnit. (actually, Kip (scarabbear), I hope the kilt shrunk in the wash, because my pants don't feel tighter right now.)   The leather suspenders make me look fat - of course, that's because I am fat, but they sort of go around my belly.  Wearing a yellow shirt with that enhances the effect that you're a big wad of cheese or something.

The kilt though, wears well.  There were just several others that had kilts too, so it wasn't as unique as it could be.  I guess I knew this going in.  Still, there was only one other who wasn't wearing a black Utilikilt, and only David (scotbear) was wearing an actual plaid tartan.  When a guy actually made mention of David's kilt, I made sure I pointed out that David actually made that kilt, which is more than I can say for my borrowed one.

Of course, the difference in wearing a Utilikilt to a bear run and wearing one to Austin City Limits Festival is the fact that the bears are more up front about asking you if you're wearing it correctly, and not backing down if you tell them that they can find out for themselves.  Isn't that right Bill (blakes_7) and Carlos (carlosito)?

Kip's kilt is actually a slight bit short for me, which is kind of fun, since it moves well.  I wore it the night of the contest, so I was watching Bob's comedy set, and the contest afterwards.  Now I couldn't volunteer to wrestle with the ¡Mucha Lucha! contestants since I was in the kilt, and I wasn't going to show everyone my stuff if I got flipped over.  The contestants, in the Fiesta spoof on Bear contests were dressed up in Mexican wrestling masks, and asked to wrestle a lucky bear, and most were to shy to do it.  Well, the hot leather bear who spoke no English and was in his leather chaps was one I'd like to have gotten up there with, even though I know now the way he hog tied poor Carlos was a bit awkward, but still, the kilt kept me from doing it.

Of course learning what the hot leather bear was into later was somewhat troubling...pretty to look at though.

Afterwards, there was a dance, and I like how the kilt moves, but the DJ wasn't very good, switching moods way too often.  Just as I was ready to get out and boogie, he suddenly pulled out a "couples skate" song and I had no one to be there with, and he kept doing that, every two or three songs, never building up a groove.  Eventually I went back to my room to take off the kilt, knowing that if I ended up somewhere else taking it off, I probably couldn't get it back on easily, and might have to hold it on getting back to the room - and wouldn't that be a sight to see.  Better to avoid the later embarrassment.

Bobaloo

Just a few words about bobaloo.  He keeps me in stitches.  He's just damn funny to me.  I think he's better off the cuff, but that's probably because I had heard a lot of his act, and I could tell he was a little nervous, so I was thinking about his performance, and watching the audience for their reaction.  Bobaloo definitely plays better to a younger crowd, and a less uptight group.  You wouldn't think that people at a bear run would be uptight, but I think I found the twelve-steppers in the audience. Bobaloo's one night on cocaine story doesn't play so well with them.

Still, I enjoyed watching the guy who was translating into sign the story about Bob's sleeping with the boyfriend of Rip Taylor, and having to sign that Rip would have confetti coming out of his dick - hilarious. I think Bob will do fine, he just is working on honing the good stuff down.

He's still a master of the moment, allowing himself to run wild.  I wish I had a picture of him with the towel wrapped on top of his head, and the T-shirt tied up to enhance his man-boobs and his Jackie-O style lost & found sunglasses on as he left the pool on afternoon.  It was quite a sight. Still, we all know that Best Buy's media department still calls his name.

Bear Identification Tags(tm)

Remember the Bear Identification Tags(tm) (BITs) I spoke of earlier?  I forgot to put my city of origin on mine.  Apparently this is a big faux pas as the people who stare at your chest to identify you don't know where you're from.  Since this seems to be important, and often they catch you talking to the people surrounding you, you suddenly take on the geographical identity of those around you.  So if I were to be next to Pete (trapezebear), people would think I was from Boston.  If I were near Will (bigchicagobear), I would be from Chicago, and so on.  They would always as me first if I was from the same person as the person to the right or left of me who had actually been smart enough to include their point of origin on their BIT.  They never seemed to ask first, and they never got it right, since there were maybe only three other people from Houston around.  I guess it's the trouble with having friends across the country.

Still, where else am I going to see you guys?

She's going to blow!

The last night, after Pie, the word of a game night turned into reality, as an abandoned room off the pool became filled with much of the LJ set.  Richard (bear_with_me) had something he wanted to show, and they set up on Sean's (schnitz_mi) computer a police training video from the 1950's on how to deliver a baby in a car.  We settled in for some of the most wooden acting outside of a Steve Hurley film (Fuuuucker!).  Some quality dialog:

Deadpan Rhoda-Type Friend: "My friend is going to have a baby."
Police Officer: (Equally Emotionless) "Keep Calm" (wait 20 seconds) "Keep Calm" (wait another 60 seconds) "Keep Calm"
Pallid Woman in back of Car Who Doesn't Look Pregnant, Or Emotional: "I'm going to have a baby."

Truly, she doesn't look pregnant, nor did she look like anyone would get her that way, but in a couple of minutes she breaks water EXPLOSIVELY all over the face of the officer, and you have about 30 bears in a hotel room all screaming "EEEEWW!" not so much for seeing the woman's privates, which was surprising enough, but here's a fountain, and a live birth captured on film, from the 50's, in the back of a car!    Truly shocking.

After that, we played Electronic Catchphrase, the sort of cross between hot potato and Password.  You have to have your team guess the word without giving a part of it (like you can't use "not Arctic" to try to get Antarctica", Carlos) and give clues to have them guess the word or phrase.  Two guesses, wrong on both counts (I don't remember the words we were going for) were when Steve was asking for a phrase that meant something you would do for an enemy, and I said "Mercy Fuck" - and suddenly didn't know where that came from, and when Bobaloo said Marijuana and I responded "Gateway Drug"!  My mind connects in strange ways.  Still, unlike David (mnsourcer), I know that Moby Dick isn't a book of the Bible - love ya!

It took us a while to play a few rounds, just because there were 20 people playing in a circle, and probably another 10 watching. 

After that we started playing Doorway to Hatred, in probably one of the most delicious games ever.  There were about fifteen of us playing, so we played until the wee hours of the morning, and what made it better was the questions were made there, mostly by Randy (lostncove) who wrote them over pie, and not from the Loaded Questions box (where the original game comes from), so the were designed to let our minds go.  I don't want to give away what was said, but the game is sort of an interview type thing, where you're given a question, like "what kind of tree would you be?".  Now nice people would answer "larch".  People playing this game would manage to turn it into some big rant where that tree would fall and destroy someone's house and then get used to build a product that would burn and give someone fake cancer.  Because, the key to Doorway to Hatred, is making as many fake cancer references as you can.

Still Matty (mattycub) and Bobaloo took it on the chin, as did Randy and his love of Andrew Lloyd Webber and rollerskates. Getting to play this game, which is familiar to the Dallas circle, is a dream with Richard, Alex,  Bill, Sean, and others previously mentioned playing.  Will was surprisingly nasty!  Polyamory and Bisexuality were up for grabs, as well as my own eating habits.  What was fun was watching the two Steves, the two that weren't on Live Journal; try to keep up with all of the backstory business that the rest of us had on each other.  My problem is, my answers are rather easy to tell.  I need to work on that.  Half of the fun is trying to make it so that the person each round who's supposed to guess who answered what can't identify you.  Deflect and diffuse, not my best qualities.

Still, everyone ran out around 4:30am, saying goodbye to Randy who would be gone by the next morning. 

The End

Really, that's it, after lunch Monday; it was back to the airport where I saw some guys getting onboard for Salt Lake, Kerry and Stephen heading off to Chicago, and then nothing.  Unlike my flight in, there were no bears on the flight back to Houston.  Another Fiesta over.

This recap brought to you by COLORS, Tucson's Modern Gay Eatery, as opposed to the olde-fashioned gaye eatery your mom and dad (or likely dad and dad) went to back in the day. Or that Post-Modern Gay eatery down the street. They are so over that.


I'll have some pictures posted this weekend.