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Margaret Cho Is My New Friend
Mar. 1st, 2004 09:46 pmThe good continues to come from the editorial. I asked, and Margaret Cho's people nicely linked, my Chronicle article on her marriage site, love is love is love. Look down at the Editorials on the left column (I'm above Charlize Theron), and you'll see the link. Again, Thrilled.
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So Trevor and I went to my parent's last night. I also went up there to do early voting for the Texas primary. Texas makes you decide which party's primary you want to vote in. In Montgomery County there's barely a Democratic Party to speak of, so even though I would have liked to put in a vote for John Edwards, I had to go to the Republican one. Still, I probably did more good there, voting for the more moderate candidates and against the large fundamentalist contingent in the county.
I left the presidential choice, the only one, blank.
At home, Trevor charmed the folks, despite crapping on the carpet. [You wouldn't let me out, because it was raining. - Trevor] He was all over the place, running and jumping around. He can be one hyper dog for 12 years old.
On Friday, Sean (![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
schnitz_mi) asked me about how my parents would react to the article. He said:
Even though the cat is out of the bag with mom, does she happen to read this newspaper? Dealing with the fact that she has a gay son is one thing, dealing with having an activist gay son is a harder pill to swallow.
Well, I brought the paper with me. My parents take the small, local paper. As usual, mom was in one room, dad in the other, so I gave mom the paper first and asked her to read the article. She read it, and the disagreements started. It wasn't out of hatred, or trying to say that something was wrong with me, but she definitely felt that marriage was to remain designed for heterosexuals.
I could tell as I debated back and forth with her, that she had listened to enough right-wing voices to start saying the same things they did. I've heard every argument she had and was able to counter them, but she's really not wanting to be swayed at this time. I'm a bit discouraged, but not really upset.
Dad read it.
That's all the reaction I got. He certainly doesn't want to talk about it, and I'm seeing that dads definitely more troubled by it than I previously thought. Now me going public in the paper is doubly troubling. Still, my name is generic enough that there won't be people coming up to him at work asking, hey, Jailer Edwards, is that your faggot son in the paper today? In fact, my mom didn't realize i wrote it until I specifically said, that's my first piece in a major newspaper.
Mom and I kept talking during the evening, she continuing with her 200 questions, asking about Chris, and how long I've known and weather any of my aunts and uncles know (which is a no). I said that our family isn't close enough to make a difference. she told me that she wanted to know so she wouldn't out me, or cause trouble with some of the more fundy parts of the family. I told her not to worry, I'm not asking her to keep a secret, or to out me. It truly doesn't make a difference to me.
I also told my mom that I'm not trying to force them to join P-Flag or anything, but I did want her to understand. I'm thinking she's taking this far, far better than my dad. I just don't quite know what to do there. Not surprisingly, mom has tried to talk to him, and she said that he's really not wanting to talk about it at all. What I wonder is, what troubles him? Is it the perceived loss of masculinity in me? Is it the problem that I may not have kids? Or does he think he wasn't a good father? I think it may be the latter.
I know he felt that mom was too much of an impact on my life, while he worked. He lamented that his father was distant and I think he didn't want to be like that. Strangely, he's been becoming more distant, just like how my grandfather was to Laura and I. Of course Laura always was daddy's little girl. Still I wonder if dad understands that our relationship has gotten so much better as I've grown into adult hood. I want him to know that I love him, that i respect him, and that he's a good father. I worry about the distance.
Still, Dinner was pleasant. There was a lot to talk about and I felt a little more energized. It's not that my dad isn't talking to me, it's just the one subject. I could tell he was uncomfortable when mom asked some questions about Chris in front of him. Still I'll wait, I'm going to wait for him to tell me he's ready. It's going to take time.
Trevor whimpers - especially in the car. I figured out a way to quiet him on the way back. Sing. I sang Barenaked Ladies songs on the way back, and he calmed down My voice isn't that good, Chris sings much better, but I have the voice to soothe the savage beast.
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________
So Trevor and I went to my parent's last night. I also went up there to do early voting for the Texas primary. Texas makes you decide which party's primary you want to vote in. In Montgomery County there's barely a Democratic Party to speak of, so even though I would have liked to put in a vote for John Edwards, I had to go to the Republican one. Still, I probably did more good there, voting for the more moderate candidates and against the large fundamentalist contingent in the county.
I left the presidential choice, the only one, blank.
At home, Trevor charmed the folks, despite crapping on the carpet. [You wouldn't let me out, because it was raining. - Trevor] He was all over the place, running and jumping around. He can be one hyper dog for 12 years old.
On Friday, Sean (
schnitz_mi) asked me about how my parents would react to the article. He said:Even though the cat is out of the bag with mom, does she happen to read this newspaper? Dealing with the fact that she has a gay son is one thing, dealing with having an activist gay son is a harder pill to swallow.
Well, I brought the paper with me. My parents take the small, local paper. As usual, mom was in one room, dad in the other, so I gave mom the paper first and asked her to read the article. She read it, and the disagreements started. It wasn't out of hatred, or trying to say that something was wrong with me, but she definitely felt that marriage was to remain designed for heterosexuals.
I could tell as I debated back and forth with her, that she had listened to enough right-wing voices to start saying the same things they did. I've heard every argument she had and was able to counter them, but she's really not wanting to be swayed at this time. I'm a bit discouraged, but not really upset.
Dad read it.
That's all the reaction I got. He certainly doesn't want to talk about it, and I'm seeing that dads definitely more troubled by it than I previously thought. Now me going public in the paper is doubly troubling. Still, my name is generic enough that there won't be people coming up to him at work asking, hey, Jailer Edwards, is that your faggot son in the paper today? In fact, my mom didn't realize i wrote it until I specifically said, that's my first piece in a major newspaper.
Mom and I kept talking during the evening, she continuing with her 200 questions, asking about Chris, and how long I've known and weather any of my aunts and uncles know (which is a no). I said that our family isn't close enough to make a difference. she told me that she wanted to know so she wouldn't out me, or cause trouble with some of the more fundy parts of the family. I told her not to worry, I'm not asking her to keep a secret, or to out me. It truly doesn't make a difference to me.
I also told my mom that I'm not trying to force them to join P-Flag or anything, but I did want her to understand. I'm thinking she's taking this far, far better than my dad. I just don't quite know what to do there. Not surprisingly, mom has tried to talk to him, and she said that he's really not wanting to talk about it at all. What I wonder is, what troubles him? Is it the perceived loss of masculinity in me? Is it the problem that I may not have kids? Or does he think he wasn't a good father? I think it may be the latter.
I know he felt that mom was too much of an impact on my life, while he worked. He lamented that his father was distant and I think he didn't want to be like that. Strangely, he's been becoming more distant, just like how my grandfather was to Laura and I. Of course Laura always was daddy's little girl. Still I wonder if dad understands that our relationship has gotten so much better as I've grown into adult hood. I want him to know that I love him, that i respect him, and that he's a good father. I worry about the distance.
Still, Dinner was pleasant. There was a lot to talk about and I felt a little more energized. It's not that my dad isn't talking to me, it's just the one subject. I could tell he was uncomfortable when mom asked some questions about Chris in front of him. Still I'll wait, I'm going to wait for him to tell me he's ready. It's going to take time.
Trevor whimpers - especially in the car. I figured out a way to quiet him on the way back. Sing. I sang Barenaked Ladies songs on the way back, and he calmed down My voice isn't that good, Chris sings much better, but I have the voice to soothe the savage beast.
