The Voice (and Face) of Gay America.

[eggwards]

Last night I was online, and chatted away with some folks while watching An Evening with Kevin Smith on DVD. Mmm, Kevin Smith.

I have a profile on iChatFinder.com. For those of us using iChat on Macs, this is a way to find other users. Especially since iChat has audio and video tools that only work with other Macs. I bought an iSight camera, so I can do video chat now!

I have that on my profile there. It also says that I came out recently, and such. I guess I really didn't think much about it. It was just something I put there.

So I got a random invite for a video chat last night, pretty late. On came a guy, older, grayer. Not a bear, but he seemed nice. He saw my profile and decided to ask me some questions about my life. I told him that things are still changing, and new experiences keep on coming.

He asked about my being out. I said I was out to most of the important people in my life. I think it fascinated him. He explained that he was still closeted (somewhere in his 50's) and seemed curious on how I had done it. I tried to explain it. I don't know if I helped him or not.

We talked about my relationship with Chris. i think he was both curious and envious. he wants that. I don't know quite what keeps him from coming out himself. It was an interesting perspective. one I'm glad that i won't repeat. I'm glad to be out. Glad to be living this way.

I just didn't think I'd be asked to be the voice of experience just yet.

Comments

[fauxbear.livejournal.com]

There is always someone wiser and less wise than we are. (In my case, most are way, way wiser.) It's good that he found you I think. It's all still fresh and new and exciting for you. You're not a jaded and bitter old poof like me.

People remain in the closet for all kinds of reasons. For those of us of the "prior generation", it's largely a matter of course. It's what we do. It's the values we were raised with. Or it's the company we keep, or maintaining appearances at the workplace. There are as many reasons as there are people.

Perhaps, during your conversation, he made the decision to evaluate his life and maybe get some of the things he's been missing for himself. He may not, but at least he got wide-eyed optimism and enthusiasm instead of ennui and a sense that it's all pointless.

[sonoranbear.livejournal.com]

The internet has been such an influential factor in the lives of so many queerfolk. It's a resource where people can safely research, ask questions, and find connections to others with common interests, sexualities, and backgrounds. Livejournal's own bear enclave is a perfect example of that phenomenon.

Re: being taped as an experienced person - we all have something to offer and it sounds like you were able to use a good deal of your personal knowledge to really provide insight for this guy. I've encountered a lot of men his age who 'did the right thing' and married, raised families, and then realize that they needed to be true to themselves.

I'm constantly reminded that the impact we have on those around us is immeasurable. Thanks for being there for this fellow Michael.

*HUGS*

[latincub.livejournal.com]

Mmmmmm . . .. Kevin Smith. I have that Daredevil DVD that has an interview of him. Talk about yummers.

Living Well

[e-ticket.livejournal.com]

You just never know who you'll affect by being out.

And the more out you become, the more honest you live, the more people will notice.

iChatters

[e-ticket.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the link to iChatters -- there's also this great site:
http://www.ichatters.com/

Started by fellow bear Jeff Glover in SF....

Re: iChatters

[eggwards.livejournal.com]

I didn't realize that Jeff Glover had started iChatters. cool. I already have a profile there too.


Yeah, you never know what kind of effect you can have on others. I was surprised that this guy was asking me for stories about coming out.