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Coffee Anyone?
One thing that's troubled me about the move to Dallas is that I really haven't been able to build a circle of friends here. Yes, I'm whining a little bit, but i know that lots of it is my own fault.
I have my best friend. Chris is great and I talk to him about everything and anything, but beyond him I don't have anyone I can consistently talk to or hand out with. Some of the people I knew here before hand have moved on, and others have moved on with their lives and aren't as available anymore.
My problem is that I don't make friends as easily as I used to. Perhaps some of it comes from being burned, where I had put more energy (and sometimes cash) into trying to stay friends with people - not necessarily here, but consistently throughout my life. Who knows, maybe I've tried to often to be friends that I looked up to, or were more witty and smart than I. I'm down on myself as not being as smart or funny as I wish I was, and therefore not being good friend material.
I've also been a lot more closed off since I've moved here. I've been slow open up, and scared to go out and be social. I think its the fear of being pushed aside or unloved that keeps me on the sidelines. Maybe I'm just not comfortable with the meeting places in the community where many meet. Bars and pool parties are somewhat sexually charged, and I never quite know how to handle myself in those situations.
There's a new movies group, and we've gone a few times with them, but it's watching movies, there's little getting to know the other people. It would be nice to add a dinner or after movie coffee with that. I think that would be a better thing than bar nights.
I've gone to a couple of Denton Bears events, and so far so good. I haven't seen much out of the Dallas Bears beyond TBRU, but I know occasionally they do a dinner now and again, but they seem to be a rather exclusive group.
Here's the worst thing, I know I've been bad about keeping in contact with people. There's so many ways to get in touch with people, but I always feel like I'm imposing on people if I call or even message people. I know if I don't talk to them, they don't contact me, but when I want some connection with someone, I'm feeling too desperate and don't want to bother people (not even Chris) with my problem. If I can't keep up with people in the good times, then why bother them when I'm in a bad move?
Even when I have met a person around these parts, I don't seem to be interesting or good enough to become anything more than acquaintance, but perhaps I'm the one who's keeping everyone at a distance. I'm not entirely sure, but I'm certainly not helping myself by being an isolationist.
Maybe I shouldn't work the long hours and find some social outlets, but I've not been ready to join groups...even the softball league where I was last year. Those people aren't in my life, either, and I liked a lot of guys on that team. I keep thinking about the Chorale, but never really decide to make the commitment.
I need to work to make Dallas my home, not just the place that I live, hoping to move somewhere else and repeating the cycle. I need to do better to be open to people and allow whatever relationships may come.
I need to find some friends, old and new, and have some good times. It's not that things are horrible here in Dallas, but they could be better.
I have my best friend. Chris is great and I talk to him about everything and anything, but beyond him I don't have anyone I can consistently talk to or hand out with. Some of the people I knew here before hand have moved on, and others have moved on with their lives and aren't as available anymore.
My problem is that I don't make friends as easily as I used to. Perhaps some of it comes from being burned, where I had put more energy (and sometimes cash) into trying to stay friends with people - not necessarily here, but consistently throughout my life. Who knows, maybe I've tried to often to be friends that I looked up to, or were more witty and smart than I. I'm down on myself as not being as smart or funny as I wish I was, and therefore not being good friend material.
I've also been a lot more closed off since I've moved here. I've been slow open up, and scared to go out and be social. I think its the fear of being pushed aside or unloved that keeps me on the sidelines. Maybe I'm just not comfortable with the meeting places in the community where many meet. Bars and pool parties are somewhat sexually charged, and I never quite know how to handle myself in those situations.
There's a new movies group, and we've gone a few times with them, but it's watching movies, there's little getting to know the other people. It would be nice to add a dinner or after movie coffee with that. I think that would be a better thing than bar nights.
I've gone to a couple of Denton Bears events, and so far so good. I haven't seen much out of the Dallas Bears beyond TBRU, but I know occasionally they do a dinner now and again, but they seem to be a rather exclusive group.
Here's the worst thing, I know I've been bad about keeping in contact with people. There's so many ways to get in touch with people, but I always feel like I'm imposing on people if I call or even message people. I know if I don't talk to them, they don't contact me, but when I want some connection with someone, I'm feeling too desperate and don't want to bother people (not even Chris) with my problem. If I can't keep up with people in the good times, then why bother them when I'm in a bad move?
Even when I have met a person around these parts, I don't seem to be interesting or good enough to become anything more than acquaintance, but perhaps I'm the one who's keeping everyone at a distance. I'm not entirely sure, but I'm certainly not helping myself by being an isolationist.
Maybe I shouldn't work the long hours and find some social outlets, but I've not been ready to join groups...even the softball league where I was last year. Those people aren't in my life, either, and I liked a lot of guys on that team. I keep thinking about the Chorale, but never really decide to make the commitment.
I need to work to make Dallas my home, not just the place that I live, hoping to move somewhere else and repeating the cycle. I need to do better to be open to people and allow whatever relationships may come.
I need to find some friends, old and new, and have some good times. It's not that things are horrible here in Dallas, but they could be better.
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Send me a message sometime, and we can grab a meal or coffee.
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Yeah, we'll have to hang out more. Last night's dinner was good...well except for the waiter. If you want to go to Campisi's, I'd suggest another location.
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I'd love to have game nights. I guess I just need to work on organizing a core group of people. We've definitely have games that go unused here!
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Congratulations on the new job!
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Honestly, I feel closer to people I talk to on LJ, or speak with on Teamspeak for my COH supergroup than I do to people I have worked with for years.
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I need to actually talk more to the people on LJ. I know all these things about them and their lives, but i never really speak to them, personally, just storing up bits of the information they give.
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Have you found something similar in Chicago?
Im game for coffee!
I know some great independent coffee shops too. But I like starbucks as well.
Re: Im game for coffee!
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Now you, shouldn't you be building up frequent flyer miles? Come on back!
oh, and take pictures of your new place!