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Column Fodder: Super Star Struck City
Jan. 29th, 2004 11:57 pmSuperbowl 38 (I'm not doing that roman numeral thing) is in town this weekend, and Houston's pretty much gone crazy. The city is filling up with visitors, the strip clubs are filling up with spectators and apparently every mobile spotlight and stretch limo in the country is in the city right now.
The city has a bit of a self-esteem problem, and the way to try to battle it is to hold big, high profile events that put your best features forward. This allows bored reporters who have to be here for the entire week to find exactly what's wrong with the city.
Already the city's sprawl, lack of good public transportation, and miles of strip shopping centers. Houston's Beer Can House, flat terrain, traffic and oddities like TV personality Marvin Zindler, the inspiration for the Best Little Whorehouse in Texas. Still, there have been surprises, like the fine restaurants this town has, the tours at the Johnson Space Center, and that unlike New England and North Carolina, it isn't snowing in the dead of winter.
The city has hosted a Superbowl before, Superbowl 3 in 1971. Apparently the game back then was hardly noticed. The game was so small that it wasn't even held at the then, still new Astrodome. It was at Rice University's stadium.
Now, the game will be at Reliant Stadium, the result of the owner of our new football team making a deal with the other owners. It's big business, and it's bringing in lots of money in alcohol and rentals for the hundreds of parties being held all this week.
The city's even trying to throw parties, with street festivals, concerts and The NFL Experience, an interactive playland that's taking up the entire convention center. There's a whole area downtown that has been closed off to create a party zone, since Houston doesn't have anything like Bourbon Street. There was even a "opening ceremony" held the other night, but besides several Houston area sports stars (several live here due to Texas' lack of income tax), the best they organizers could do is get Yanni to perform for the crowd.
Star watching is the biggest game in town right now. Parties all over town advertised tickets and celebrities who had been invited to attend, but not necessarily attend. For $500 you can party with Puff Daddy and for less, you might be able to hang with Tom Arnold. Houston's a bit star struck, as rumors of Jennifer Anniston dining, Madonna buying coffee, and every rap artist who hasn't spent all of their money on diamonds and Kristal is just around the corner. the Galleria mall was filled with locals looking for the rich and famous, including tons of kids looking like rappers trying to look for rappers.
Still, some of the stars that have been spotted, people like Cedric the Entertainer, kid Rock and , yes, Kato Kaolin all seem pretty low-wattage to me. Our media outlets though are asking for any and every sighting. Television stations are running banners of who's been seen, and are pleading viewers to share pictures with them. Every station is playing up the game, with special stories, fluff pieces if you will, with party coverage, stories about the readiness of the city, and sports reports showing endless interviews with coaches and players, some barely putting together a credible sentence.
Our local paper is running story after story about the event, as usual, giving up journalistic excellence for pure boosterism. Today, shockingly, they ran a headline stating "The NFL's Dirty Little Secret". Had the paper actually got some balls and stopped sucking at the teat of our local owner and the League? Nope. The story was about gambling, which the NFL is strictly against, and this was the hard-hitting story to tell you that. Houston is very, very pro football, especially Pro Football, right now.
If there's anything that tells you that Houston's troubled by it's outward appearance, much seems to be organized to try to convince the country, and possibly the world that we're not only the country's fourth largest city, but that we can be a "World Class City". Houston's like the little brother who's reached adolescence and feels he can take on the world, just like any other teenager you know. Still, the city's got some acne that it hasn't grown out of.
Houston was convinced years ago that if we built the Astrodome, we'd be world class. Then, if we built another stadium, and another, and so on. In fact, Houston now has three major stadiums, two with retractable roofs, that have been built in the last 5 years. this was all with increases in taxes and the promise of wonders, like the Superbowl to bring cash, celebrities and validation.
Of course, the "World Class City" needs a light rail system, so one we got. it just opened this month, in time for that Superbowl. From downtown to the Astrodome, the five mile train runs along the street as an expensive trolley. Houston is a car city where people drive for miles from suburb to suburb and then out to the mall. The train runs a route that few run to themselves.
The problem with putting a new, quiet train on a city street is that drivers aren't used to sharing the road. the train runs on Main Street, a street that for all my life, never allowed a left turn...officially. Now we find that people had been illegally turning left all along. How do we know? Over the course of a month, 11 cars, all turning left, have been run over by the light rail. This included a reporter for one of the hard hitting television stations. Public service announcements have aired, telling Houstonians not to run into the train.
Sadly, the local reports didn't focus on the actual victims of the train wreck, but on what our visitors will think about us. Word has already gotten out that we've won the record for most light rail accidents for a full year. We couldn't be more proud.
Houston's hitting the big stage, and the stage fright has begun. Sure, we're not the frontier town with tumbleweeds that those who've seen too many westerns think of. We don't all work in the oil field, and we don't all go out to Gilley's to ride the mechanical bull. Well, not anymore, Gilely's closed in 1991.
We're just getting run over by the light rail while we look for Sammy Haggar drinking soy lattes, waiting for the big game.
The city has a bit of a self-esteem problem, and the way to try to battle it is to hold big, high profile events that put your best features forward. This allows bored reporters who have to be here for the entire week to find exactly what's wrong with the city.
Already the city's sprawl, lack of good public transportation, and miles of strip shopping centers. Houston's Beer Can House, flat terrain, traffic and oddities like TV personality Marvin Zindler, the inspiration for the Best Little Whorehouse in Texas. Still, there have been surprises, like the fine restaurants this town has, the tours at the Johnson Space Center, and that unlike New England and North Carolina, it isn't snowing in the dead of winter.
The city has hosted a Superbowl before, Superbowl 3 in 1971. Apparently the game back then was hardly noticed. The game was so small that it wasn't even held at the then, still new Astrodome. It was at Rice University's stadium.
Now, the game will be at Reliant Stadium, the result of the owner of our new football team making a deal with the other owners. It's big business, and it's bringing in lots of money in alcohol and rentals for the hundreds of parties being held all this week.
The city's even trying to throw parties, with street festivals, concerts and The NFL Experience, an interactive playland that's taking up the entire convention center. There's a whole area downtown that has been closed off to create a party zone, since Houston doesn't have anything like Bourbon Street. There was even a "opening ceremony" held the other night, but besides several Houston area sports stars (several live here due to Texas' lack of income tax), the best they organizers could do is get Yanni to perform for the crowd.
Star watching is the biggest game in town right now. Parties all over town advertised tickets and celebrities who had been invited to attend, but not necessarily attend. For $500 you can party with Puff Daddy and for less, you might be able to hang with Tom Arnold. Houston's a bit star struck, as rumors of Jennifer Anniston dining, Madonna buying coffee, and every rap artist who hasn't spent all of their money on diamonds and Kristal is just around the corner. the Galleria mall was filled with locals looking for the rich and famous, including tons of kids looking like rappers trying to look for rappers.
Still, some of the stars that have been spotted, people like Cedric the Entertainer, kid Rock and , yes, Kato Kaolin all seem pretty low-wattage to me. Our media outlets though are asking for any and every sighting. Television stations are running banners of who's been seen, and are pleading viewers to share pictures with them. Every station is playing up the game, with special stories, fluff pieces if you will, with party coverage, stories about the readiness of the city, and sports reports showing endless interviews with coaches and players, some barely putting together a credible sentence.
Our local paper is running story after story about the event, as usual, giving up journalistic excellence for pure boosterism. Today, shockingly, they ran a headline stating "The NFL's Dirty Little Secret". Had the paper actually got some balls and stopped sucking at the teat of our local owner and the League? Nope. The story was about gambling, which the NFL is strictly against, and this was the hard-hitting story to tell you that. Houston is very, very pro football, especially Pro Football, right now.
If there's anything that tells you that Houston's troubled by it's outward appearance, much seems to be organized to try to convince the country, and possibly the world that we're not only the country's fourth largest city, but that we can be a "World Class City". Houston's like the little brother who's reached adolescence and feels he can take on the world, just like any other teenager you know. Still, the city's got some acne that it hasn't grown out of.
Houston was convinced years ago that if we built the Astrodome, we'd be world class. Then, if we built another stadium, and another, and so on. In fact, Houston now has three major stadiums, two with retractable roofs, that have been built in the last 5 years. this was all with increases in taxes and the promise of wonders, like the Superbowl to bring cash, celebrities and validation.
Of course, the "World Class City" needs a light rail system, so one we got. it just opened this month, in time for that Superbowl. From downtown to the Astrodome, the five mile train runs along the street as an expensive trolley. Houston is a car city where people drive for miles from suburb to suburb and then out to the mall. The train runs a route that few run to themselves.
The problem with putting a new, quiet train on a city street is that drivers aren't used to sharing the road. the train runs on Main Street, a street that for all my life, never allowed a left turn...officially. Now we find that people had been illegally turning left all along. How do we know? Over the course of a month, 11 cars, all turning left, have been run over by the light rail. This included a reporter for one of the hard hitting television stations. Public service announcements have aired, telling Houstonians not to run into the train.
Sadly, the local reports didn't focus on the actual victims of the train wreck, but on what our visitors will think about us. Word has already gotten out that we've won the record for most light rail accidents for a full year. We couldn't be more proud.
Houston's hitting the big stage, and the stage fright has begun. Sure, we're not the frontier town with tumbleweeds that those who've seen too many westerns think of. We don't all work in the oil field, and we don't all go out to Gilley's to ride the mechanical bull. Well, not anymore, Gilely's closed in 1991.
We're just getting run over by the light rail while we look for Sammy Haggar drinking soy lattes, waiting for the big game.
