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Even If Things Get Heavy
I continue to be a child in a man's body...an overgrown man in fact.
For a long time, I've been lamenting this fact, having trouble reconciling the fact that I get excited, like I did as a six-year old looking through the Sears Christmas Wish Book at the latest offerings, and making a list to give to Santa.
Then comes the disappointment when Santa doesn't bring you exactly what you want. I unfortunately find I still experience the same emotions, though the catalog has changed, greatly.
I keep expecting that somewhere the hormones will stop kicking in, and I'll be a mature man, making rational decisions, and not regretting my over-expectant hopes.
Of course I'd probably be mindlessly boring if it were to come to that. The endless beating up of my own ego would just be supplanted with a dull white noise blur. Sometimes emotions can be for the good.
"And we'll all float on ok"...Modest Mouse
For a long time, I've been lamenting this fact, having trouble reconciling the fact that I get excited, like I did as a six-year old looking through the Sears Christmas Wish Book at the latest offerings, and making a list to give to Santa.
Then comes the disappointment when Santa doesn't bring you exactly what you want. I unfortunately find I still experience the same emotions, though the catalog has changed, greatly.
I keep expecting that somewhere the hormones will stop kicking in, and I'll be a mature man, making rational decisions, and not regretting my over-expectant hopes.
Of course I'd probably be mindlessly boring if it were to come to that. The endless beating up of my own ego would just be supplanted with a dull white noise blur. Sometimes emotions can be for the good.
"And we'll all float on ok"...Modest Mouse
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Ryan
"if...growing up....means being like you...well i....i dont want to..."
from "I Don't Wanna Grow Up: from the Descendants
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Do I consider myself mature? Yes.
Do I consider myself Grown up? Hell No!
I think the difference is just being able to enjoy life and not to be consumed by "grown up" things. That's the great thing of maturity. You know you need to do certain things like pay bills, clean up, and general responsibilities. But allow yourself some less mature fun as well. It's all about balance.
As for the hormones and all that stuff......that's emotional stuff. If you ever lose the ability to show emotion you'll become that bland, transparent person that everyone dreads in becoming. So, enjoy being quirky. Have fun in the toy aisle. Just do things that will generally make you happy and fun to be around.
How's that?
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Do I consider myself mature? Yes.
Do I consider myself Grown up? Hell No!
Exactly!
If anything testosterone has rejuvenated me.
What those guys said...
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You and I should start chatting off-site. I read your journal everyday. Aside from truly enjoying your writing (you're quite gifted), I find that we often agree.
Hope you're day is going well... and that your feelings of disappointment fade soon.
xo
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We should chat more...I just know our schedules are a bit off, When i wake up, you've already been on the radio for an hour. when I get off of work, it's already 7 o'clock in NYC. And of course, work won't let me IM. (Boo work!)
I'll look for you on the weekend!
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[Post actually made for the benefit of
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