Schadenfreude

[eggwards]

I found out that my jr. high/high school nemesis, Scott Levantino ended up in jail over the weekend. Not that I wished him harm, but I have to admit I giggled a little bit at his situation. for years he bullied me and taunted me for being overweight. I don't know why it got him excited to do it. Probably because I would react to it. More than once he took a swing from me as I tossed my metal lunchbox at him.

I'm telling you, the metal lunchbox is the way to go for self protection. The plastic ones, even with a full thermos, just don't pack the punch.

Nevertheless, Scott always initiated these stupid interactions, taunting and harassing me. I have to admit that I'm glad this really hasn't happened much after High School. I guess most people grow up, or they get lives that prevent them from being so stupid, but occasionally these things still occur. Some of that same bully behavior happens on the roadways (which I can say that sometimes I can be a jerk on the road) and occasionally at a bar.

Have you ever thought that there's a lot of gay men who haven't gotten out of that high school mentality? They're still picking on people. Still trying to cut them down to make themselves better.

In writing that, I think I'd better say that I've done that. talked about people in a catty way, mostly to try to get a laugh. Still, I wouldn't taunt someone, I wouldn't yell at them telling them how fat they were, or what kind of a wuss they were. Maybe I'm only Chaotic Good.

Insert next geek reference here.

Still, there seems to be an immaturity, perhaps with finding yourself a little later in life, that comes with gay men, whether it's bulling, or self-acceptance or immaturity. Lord knows I have my issues. When you come out, you seem to be going through the phase all of the heterosexual kids went through so many years ago. Luckily, I think we'll be the last generation that will really have to go through this. It's getting so much better.

Scott came in for DWI. His first offense, but he had a record. His brother owns a successful CPA office. Apparently Scott has been working there for a long time, which doesn't surprise me, since I never thought he would amount to much. He's been arrested twice for fraud.

I had to admit I smiled at the karmic beauty of it all. What's the word? Schadenfreude? Taking pleasure in other's misfortune? I guess it's just childish of me, but he did it to himself.

Perhaps we never grow up.

Comments

[jdvsqz.livejournal.com]

Isn't it amazing how those memories and feelings from way back are still with us?

[quirkstreet.livejournal.com]

I think you're on the mark with a lot of this. There does seem to be some not-so-great immaturity among queer men some of the time, and I agree that part of it is about finding ourselves later. On the other hand, some of it is now "culturally" ingrained as acceptable behavior in our communities (e.g. some of the bitchiness) and is noticeable even in people who come out nice and young.

I also think that a lot of us DO grow up.

And that some of our straight peers, especially the men, lose a little TOO much of their childlike qualities, the good ones as well as the bad. I think we're fortunate at times in having more options about that. It's a little too okay to be mean and silly in queer men's settings, but it's also okay to be harmlessly silly, and that's a good thing.

You also realize, (I can tell, because you say so), that some of this is particular to you given how recently you came out. There is, indeed, a kind of "second adolescence" compared to a lot of our straight peers, for many of us. Mine took about five years. It was a slightly different thing from the parallel process of becoming an adult.

On my birthday this year, my Dad (who's straight) said "I feel as though men don't really become adults until their early 40s." I sort of agree. I think some straight guys who have family responsibilities LOOK and ACT more mature ... having people depend on you will do that (if you're the kind of straight guy who lives up to it, not a loser) ... but inside, they're still growing, in their "not usually very conscious about it" way. My former boss, at 43, is JUST starting to confront some of his stuff, even though he's married, two kids, stable career, etc.

[drood.livejournal.com]

I truly believe in karma like that. It's just rare that we get to witness the results in action.

[redgtbear.livejournal.com]

Strange. My school-days nemisis wound up in jail as well. Armed robbery I think. I wasn't exactly upset to hear that news. I used my metal lunch box as a defense weapon as well, but it was with somebody else. Dented a perfectly good Space 1999 lunchbox. *grr*

Schadenfreude

[scarabbear.livejournal.com]

Schadenfreude, lovely german concept , and thanks to my mother i learned its meaning all too well . delighting in the misfortune of others.. he he he see, i am still giggling .. i guess, i was the exception for gay kids in school, i was a bully for justice... i would always help the other kids.. i would see em getting beat on and i had to stick my nose in it , i am still that way. I still get into too many fights, and lucklity have developed a reputation for it so that people as a rule do not test me on it. I know it seems odd to be proud of it, but i was quite often a doormat as a child

[jrjarrett.livejournal.com]

My high school nemesis commited suicide.

[bassettdawg.livejournal.com]

yup, so did mine.

[left-turn-only.livejournal.com]

nothing impresses me less than someone who 'makes fun of' another person. i hate that ...

fat, whatever. everybody is only living up to their destiny or caught my their demons ... fucking with them accomplishes nothing.