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Three Little Rants From School Are We
Three little rants:
1. Strippers with licenses. San Antonio is joining Houston in requiring strippers to be licensed with the city. I still recall a few years back the Houston media having a field day showing the lines of strippers waiting to get their license from the city. Still, San Antonio wants the strippers to wear rather large badges that have their license number on it. I can't recall if Houston has this, but when I was at Hans' bachelor party, I don't recall seeing a "Hello My Name Is" tag on anyone that night.
San Antonio also wants to do a background check on each stripper. Is this really necessary? Are we worried that your stripper is working for Al Queda? What they'll find is that a few of them have some rap sheets, and a couple of them were teachers and police officers who found they get paid and treated better as strippers.
2. Malls. You know you love to hate them. I'd really love to have a patrol in there that actually takes all of the loose kids and corals them in some sort of kid lot (I guess all kids under 12, I wish it could be under 18) and holds them there until their parents come to get there so the rest of us can shop in peace. I really hate that it's a dumping ground for your kids.
Heck, I'd like some parents to be worried where their kids had gone once in a while. Sometimes I wonder if their kids were abducted, would they throw a party instead? Seems to be the attitude of some folks.
3. Jeans. I really have a hard time shopping for Jeans. The two pair that I own right now are getting old. I think both pair are some where around 3+ years. Since they are usually weekends only, and even there, it's pretty much non summertime clothing, I don't need a new pair all that often, but buying a new pair is an ordeal.
So, As I went out for a bit today, the few places I checked, with their full price wares (I'm kind of cheap when it comes to clothing. I love clearance) and the no-name stuff was around $45 for the big mens stuff. Naturally Name Brands will cost you more, going from $50 on up to $100. The problem is, for big men's sizes, most places only stock "relaxed fit", "comfort fit" or, even worse "stretch waistband" jeans.
First - I will absolutely never wear anything with a stretch waistband that isn't sweats. Stretch waistbands are made for people who don't want to wear a belt (or suspenders) and can't accept that they've outgrown their old waist size. "Damn, I tell you, I wear a 34. i don't know why they don't make them right any more...but wait, 34 in the stretch waistbands fit!" Get real.
I've had all sorts of Relaxed Fit Jeans the last few years. Their fine, but you know, their absolutely huge around the knees, and I wear mine a little low. When you wear them under your gut, then there's little chance it's going to make your ass look anything but absent in those jeans. Still, I refuse to wear jeans up over my gut...ugh.
Anyone have a suggestion? A jean that will fit my big waist and thighs, but not make me look like I'm drowning, but low waisted enough to actually make me look the sexxxy - plus have the belt-loops in the right place for my suspenders (one of my two pair doesn't).
1. Strippers with licenses. San Antonio is joining Houston in requiring strippers to be licensed with the city. I still recall a few years back the Houston media having a field day showing the lines of strippers waiting to get their license from the city. Still, San Antonio wants the strippers to wear rather large badges that have their license number on it. I can't recall if Houston has this, but when I was at Hans' bachelor party, I don't recall seeing a "Hello My Name Is" tag on anyone that night.
San Antonio also wants to do a background check on each stripper. Is this really necessary? Are we worried that your stripper is working for Al Queda? What they'll find is that a few of them have some rap sheets, and a couple of them were teachers and police officers who found they get paid and treated better as strippers.
2. Malls. You know you love to hate them. I'd really love to have a patrol in there that actually takes all of the loose kids and corals them in some sort of kid lot (I guess all kids under 12, I wish it could be under 18) and holds them there until their parents come to get there so the rest of us can shop in peace. I really hate that it's a dumping ground for your kids.
Heck, I'd like some parents to be worried where their kids had gone once in a while. Sometimes I wonder if their kids were abducted, would they throw a party instead? Seems to be the attitude of some folks.
3. Jeans. I really have a hard time shopping for Jeans. The two pair that I own right now are getting old. I think both pair are some where around 3+ years. Since they are usually weekends only, and even there, it's pretty much non summertime clothing, I don't need a new pair all that often, but buying a new pair is an ordeal.
So, As I went out for a bit today, the few places I checked, with their full price wares (I'm kind of cheap when it comes to clothing. I love clearance) and the no-name stuff was around $45 for the big mens stuff. Naturally Name Brands will cost you more, going from $50 on up to $100. The problem is, for big men's sizes, most places only stock "relaxed fit", "comfort fit" or, even worse "stretch waistband" jeans.
First - I will absolutely never wear anything with a stretch waistband that isn't sweats. Stretch waistbands are made for people who don't want to wear a belt (or suspenders) and can't accept that they've outgrown their old waist size. "Damn, I tell you, I wear a 34. i don't know why they don't make them right any more...but wait, 34 in the stretch waistbands fit!" Get real.
I've had all sorts of Relaxed Fit Jeans the last few years. Their fine, but you know, their absolutely huge around the knees, and I wear mine a little low. When you wear them under your gut, then there's little chance it's going to make your ass look anything but absent in those jeans. Still, I refuse to wear jeans up over my gut...ugh.
Anyone have a suggestion? A jean that will fit my big waist and thighs, but not make me look like I'm drowning, but low waisted enough to actually make me look the sexxxy - plus have the belt-loops in the right place for my suspenders (one of my two pair doesn't).
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But also, to make it difficult to do. If you can get the media to plaster pics of strippers up, maybe they will think twice about doing it.
It's the same reason many are against same-sex unions instead of full gay marriage. The more hoops put in the way, the less likely people will do it.
Besides, what's sexier than a stripper with a name tag?
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I hate how parents let their FT's loose everywhere without any pretense of supervising the kids. How about they start fining the parents of subteens for child abandonment.
For the Jeans question, I would have to get into your pants to give you an answer...lol
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I totally agree with you on the mall thing. Up here at Hugedale (aka Mall of America) under 16 aren't allowed in the mall without their parents on the weekend. It's made a HUGE difference.
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I'm all for the 16 year-old ban. Very good idea. They can go to Eden Prairie Mall. They have the Fashionably Male store.
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I think you would look REALLY HOT in Carhart's...
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I know what you mean with pants, but I have an extra strike against me. I'm 5'7'' and have an inseam less than 30.
Why exactly caused your authorities to decide stripers need a license? Did one of them have a 'wardrobe malfunction' and kills someone?
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One of the big problems is the rise, or the distance between the top the zipper and the place where the legs join together. The manufacturers, inasmuch as they expect ANYthing, expect you to wear your beltline over your belly, so the rise is HUGE for bigger waist sizes, and you end up with 1) a huge bulge of fabric over your crotch when you sit; 2) the place where the legs of the jeans meet hangs halfway down your thigh, hampering movement, causing chafing and looking Just Plain Stupid; and 3) the aforementioned No Butt problem.
I haven't come up with a good solution. When I go to buy jeans, I'm up-front with the salesman about the beltline-under-the-belly thing... and several times, the salesman has been able to point out styles that have shorter rises. I think the real solution, though, would be to have some jeans custom-made, if you can afford it. I have yet to find a single "make" of jeans that actually expects you to have your belt under your belly, so that might be the only way to go.
How do you like the fit of your Utilikilt? I was pleasantly surprised to find the "beer belly cut" option in their online catalog. It's the only time I've seen that concession to reality in any manufacturer.
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Now, why aren't you going to be in Dallas?
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The Utilikilt is borrowed, but it does fit pretty well. You'd think that with the obesity epidemic that's sweeping this country, more companies would look to sell jeans and pants that are cut with a beer gut cut. There's money to be made there.
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Still I do need to make a weekend trip to San Antonio and visit all of you guys...maybe in April. I'll have to talk to you about this at TBRU, but i don't want to interfere with your move.
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one of these days....