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Good weekend, beautiful weather, and running around trying to get things done before this week's TBRU festivities. Chris and I got our pre-run haircuts. We didn't spend as much time as we should have cleaning the house for our incoming guests. Especially bad as Joey has totally eviscerated a rope chew toy and there are strings all over the house.

I spent much of the day yesterday watching Chris play softball. I felt kind of awkward as I'm not on a team. I felt even more awkward as I don't know anyone on Chris' team, and most of the people we played with last year were playing a field over. I spend most of the doubleheader with my nose buried in a Series 7 book, studying the driest material ever. Did not make for a lot of fun. Perhaps I made the wrong decision about softball, but I didn't hear anyone clamoring for my poor playing skills.

As I had a lot of trouble with tickets for The Police, I'm kind of wary to buy tickets to the Cindy Lauper/Erasure/Margaret Cho tour - the one I'm calling Gays take over the Smirnoff Pavilion. What a great venue for a super gay tour. It's not so much the tickets price or the acts, but that the tour supports the Human Rights Coalition (HRC). I'd be much more interested if it benefited an organization that I felt did more for the community than make little stickers, have big, fancy fundraisers, and build itself new headquarters. I'd much rather support GLADD, NGLTF or Lambda Legal.

OK, in my way of trying to be the person who ends memes by doing them last...go ahead, ask me questions. I'll try to answer them soon, and it will get me up and writing. I've been kind of silent of late.
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So in Dallas, yesterday was not Pride. We here in Dallas have to wait until September to be prideful. It made me wish i could have gone down to Houston to see some of the parade. there really was only one thing stopping us, and that was softball.

So we finally reached the end of season tournament this past weekend. I learned to enjoy playing a little bit more when I lightened up and stopped worrying about the mistakes I was making. It's not like the team was filled with a lineup of all-stars, just guys who wanted to get out there and play.

It became clearer as the season went by that many other teams were taking the whole thing way to seriously and they were recruiting players that were too good for the league, and practicing five days a week. If they wanted to beat us, fine and if they were really needing to pile on the score, well that's their problem.

I dealt with some of this attitude a couple of weeks ago when there was a voluntary extra tournament. Our team wasn't going to play, and so another team was looking for a few extra players to fill in. what seemed like a friendly thing turned into a lot of frustration as Chris ([livejournal.com profile] f__k) and I, along with John went to what was supposed to be a team practice, but turned out to be a skills assessment to see if we were "useable". Folks, I really don't catch everything, and I can't run, so defensively, I'm a mess. I knew this, and no other coach had to tell me this.

So I'm on the bench for the first three games of the tournament. Chris and John are playing, but since the team never practiced together, you can tell it's not all gelling together. They lose all three, and we have one more game to be eliminated, and it's the next day. Sunday comes and more of the original team doesn't show, so I get to play - which I was fine with. I did my best, but when another person showed up for the game, back to the bench I went for the last inning. Let's don't forget that I did have some good hits that game.

Still, i come from a losing team. We won one game all season, and that team didn't even show for the end of season tournament. The tournament is designed to help the top teams from the regular season, and in the end, two teams are chosen to represent Dallas in the Gay World Series in Ft. Lauderdale. Needless to say, BCD (Bears, Cubs and Daddies) are not your champion team for 2006.

Still, we came really close to winning our first game on Saturday...like 20 seconds shy. Softball games in our league are timed and the game ends with the final out of the inning after the 55 minute clock has run down. well, we didn't slow down enough, and they got another chance to bat, and it they took us down. I'm not sure if that was our worst-feeling loss or not, but it really sort of capped the feelings for the season.

Still, we had one more game. Dropping into the loser's bracket gave us the early game on Sunday with one of those teams that was way to concerned with winning rather than being good sports. We got smoked...not super obnoxiously, but certainly by enough to make the last inning into a farce where we started slowing down so we might not have to go bat again.

My fun was actually getting to a ball that was heading down towards third, and thinking, "I'm going to get this guy running from second to third. This is my big moment in the game!" of course he barreled into me, and I like the newbie I am, I held the ball in my right hand, not my glove, which he jammed back into my wrist, and the ball flew out towards the dugout and like charlie Brown I had gone from being a hero to a goat.

This was when the score was already 15-2.

I'm not sure what hurt more at the time, my wounded ego, or my jammed up hand. Still, as the other players asked my status, I just waived it off, and kept playing. Later though, I found that I jammed my hand pretty good, and it's been sore ever since. I couldn't do much of anything with it yesterday, and today it's improved, but I'm still having trouble gripping and turning things without pain. as Mikel ([livejournal.com profile] soonercubntx) figured out last night over dinner, I wrecked the hand that writes, types and yes, jerks it.

At the end of the game, I still was hoping that we could keep much of this team together and play again next year. Now I'm going to be hard on myself, and want to improve, but even by these last few games, I was getting to a point where it was more about the try and not the win. i wish everyone else could have felt that. It changed for me to being frustrated by the whole situation, and whether or not I could contribute to the fact that I would get out there and do what I could (namely, hit consistently), and let the rest roll off of me.

Still, my big wins this season were a double play, and actually making it to home plate - once.

Some of the guys will probably not play again next year, others may look for a team with better skills. I just want a team that's willing to take me on and teach me more, as well as be a good group of men and women. I'd hate to play for a good team that I didn't get along with.

Of course, I really want to go and make that tag correctly, holding on to the ball, and my wrist and making that out that i should have had this year.
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Sunday was hot, hot hot. It's been blazing hot around these parts, and it seems like the drought we had during the winter is lingering into the summer. Of course it doesn't rain that much in the summer here on the south plains, but this could be really dry.

A few weeks ago I was hearing people at work talk about how humid it was outside (and again, not raining) and I said "Humid? You've got to be kidding me." They always talk about New Orleans being humid, but Houston gives it a run for it's money.

So, meanwhile in the dry heat of this weekend, our baseball team, BCD - Bears, Cubs and Daddies (I promise that I didn't name the team) played to more games in what was becoming a road to futility. We had lost every game , and in one game, in a fit of rage and frustration, i walked off the field, out of the dugout, and back to the car. I really wanted to give up. I was frustrated by our team's play, and more importantly the lack of competence that I was showing in the game.

Here's the thing, There's no real "bunny slope" in this league. Although the "D" league the lowest level offered in the Pegasus Slo-Pitch Softball Association (PSSA), there's people who have still played for many years, as well as some newcomers. Some teams are over loaded with stars, others are a little more in need of attention. I've found this year that my learning is coming more on the field than in practice - but that's sort of natural for me. I'm a sink or swim guy.

This Sunday though, we pulled it off. We finally got the elusive win that we had been waiting for. We won 17-1, truly slaughtering our competition. Of course our competition was Youth First Texas. That's right, it's the GLBTQ kids. While many of the teams are young, they aren't generally high school age. as for our team, I think our average age is 35.

By the end of the game, we were really just wanting them to get hits, and trying to slow our bats to have something left for the next one. Now the Youth First kids were looking very unhappy, frustrated, and tired, since they had played another game before ours. Their sponsors, namely the pitcher and the first baseman, were trying to keep their spirits up, but we all knew it was a tough loss for them.

We knew this because the last few losses had felt the same.

We kept the celebration toned down, and started to get ready for our next game, where we would go from playing one of the lower teams to the strongest one in our division. The Buli Boys were undefeated, and really, one of the reasons was that this group of mostly twinks could play pretty well. that afternoon they were being watched by the league's council to see if they really should be playing "C" level competition.

The Buli Boys (sponsored by a Starbucks style coffee shop called Buli, which is pretty much where the twinks hang until S4 opens) beat us well in a previous meeting, and they had developed quite a group of fans, including this one dyke who looked like Susan Powter after a long stint on the beach. She yelled like there was no tomorrow, hurling both insults to us and coaching tips to her team.

After an inning or two, and where I had not been able to catch the grounder that had come at me, I came up to the plate and she said "You can't field, but I bet you can hit." I connected with the ball and sent it into the gap between the shortstop and rover and ran to first. Running to first is more like wheezing quickly to the base, but I made it. i turned around to her and yelled back, "Yes, I can hit!" in fact, I managed to make contact each at bat, so there is one talent I have.

We even caught our heckler off guard when she was trying to pump up one of the Boys by inferring that we would "want him." Wen almost to a man we all said back to her "He's not our type", that took her out for a couple of pitches.

Still, the game seemed to drag when we got behind and it seemed like we were way to tired an exhausted to go on. The high point was being a part of the team's second double play of the year, making a timely catch at third base, by the end, I wasn't quite sure i could make it from first to second without ending up on the ground, heart pounding, sweating, and muscles aching.

Still, we lost. I think the score was 15-6, a better showing than we had made in the earlier part of the season, and I think we surprised the Boys with some aggressive play.

This is where I start to like that I've played softball this year. sure, I don't know what they heck I'm doing out there, but things are going better, and I'm starting to fit in a little better. of course there's only two weekends left to the season, and this weekend it's supposed to be 100 degrees, but there's always a chance for a win. I guess I'd better go buy some gatorade - now that I'm a jock.

McQueasy

May. 14th, 2006 11:49 pm
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I did actually play softball today. The team played two games, and I did scorekeeping the first game, and played 3rd Base the second. While I continue to hit well, I feel like my fielding is a complete mess.

We had a long wait between innings, and we even went out to lunch with the Mikes ([livejournal.com profile] starzcub and [livejournal.com profile] mikeybeartx). Unfortunately we went to McDonalds, and after waiting through another extra-inning game after that, I didn't know if it was my nerves making me queasy in the stomach, or the Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese.

Still, we were down a few players this week, so out I went onto the field, and nervously tried to wait for each ball to be hit. When I'm out in the field, I feel like I'm in some sort of odd Russian-Roulette meets firing squad kind of thing where the ball's going to be coming for your head at any moment. It's not necessarily being ready to catch the ball, but being more afraid that you won't catch it.

Of course not catching it means two things, either being hit by it, or missing it all together and letting the runners advance. I did more of the latter today. If it wasn't for our rather terrific shortstop, Forrest, the game would have been much, much worse. Forrest actually did get hit in the face at one point.

I'm not saying I was all bad. I did stop a few balls from getting past, and like I said, hitting doesn't seem to be a problem - except for hitting where they ain't, as the saying goes.

Still, there were a couple of times I had the ball, and I wasn't sure where to go with it. Do I throw to first? Home? should I have run up to catch something? All those years of watching and analyzing baseball, and I find I still know very little about the game. Of course, once again one of the players didn't trust me enough to throw to me in a play. that's getting on my nerves.

We lost both games. It's not all because of me, but still, I'm not sure I'm helping so much. I know that wisdom comes with continuing to do something, and learning. I guess i still need to be coaxed into continuing, though.

I'm a little sore right now, and still unsure about the game. Luckily i wasn't a total disaster out there, but no great shakes either.

Otherwise, tonight we went to TV night over at Matty's and watched Lost, which continues to amaze me. The show has gotten so intricate that I wonder if they'll really start to lose viewers with all you have to keep up with? I know that they will have trouble getting new viewers just because it's so difficult to keep up with events that happened a year ago that are just now coming to fruition. It's a difficult show, but I'm hoping the rewards will be good.
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Here's the last thing you need to hear at a $5 concert, "We're on our 25th anniversary tour, and tonight, we're going to play one of our albums in it's entirety!"

Yep, that was from the Go-Go's Belinda Carlyle who was playing with her band at the Taste Addison! festival tonight. Her band followed the Gin Blossoms. Last night, where luckily we had better things to do, the headliner was Hootie and the Blowfish.

Tonight's big album, Beauty and the Beat, which apparently had a couple of hits, and a whole lot of tracks that time has forgotten. Luckily, once they finished the album, they got to their other hits. I couldn't tell if Jane Weidlen was touring with them or not this time.

Sure, 25 years is a long time to be in a band, but you know, the Go-Go's among many 80's artists don't really have the gravitas to pull off a "here's some great art of the past" event in a concert. Springsteen, yes, U2, maybe, but the Go-Go's aren't that far away from being the Thompson Twins, you know?

We went out with Mikel ([livejournal.com profile] soonercubntx), and the large crowd at the event put me right on edge. I find myself less and less able to deal with being in a large crowd of people, and after running around the many food vendors a few times, I needed to get away to somewhere that was at least, less crowded. The people were all coming and going in different directions, and I couldn't seem to get away from them. I guess I start feeling a great need for physical space.

Finally, later I could come back, once they settled down to watch the show - or leave. Still, I felt the need to find my solace on a park bench at the very far end of the festival grounds. I his out, even from Chris and Mikel, who I should have told them that I was going to be leaving for a bit, rather than just disappearing, so they could have enjoyed the show more, rather than looking for me.

It's not the first time I've pulled a stunt like this, and probably won't be the last.

It's interesting how this contrasts with last night, when we were at the going-away party for Matty ([livejournal.com profile] mattycub). There, when I thought I was going to have to deal with a very crowded bar, it was actually rather empty and it was nice being able to talk to people on the upstairs balcony. It was good seeing Scott ([livejournal.com profile] xkot) againand getting to meet Ed ([livejournal.com profile] edbearaustin), and see several others who I don't always get to see.

We ended up in the more crowded Round Up, and for a bit I was uncomfortable, but eventually calmed down. I know that someone might tell me that I should drink more, but I think it would actually make matters worse, not better.

I've been very much on edge for the last several days, and I'm not sure why. I guess a part of it is not feeling that I'm living up to a lot of expectations, including my own. One of those expectations is softball. we haven't played much, due to rain and all, but when we actually have to play another team, I get anxious, nervous and down right irritable. I'm really thinking that I should just quit. I can help out with practice, but I don't want to be involved with the games. I feel that there's far too many people with grand expectations for this team - that we'll bee some big champion or something, and I just don't think I can play that way.

I don't want to let the team down by making errors and looking like an idiot on the field, so, in my usual way, I'd rather bow out than try to fight it. Those who have read this journal for a while know I'm really good at retreating.

It's also not helping that the coaches are fighting, part of it brought on by people who are being, in my opinion, far to competitive and serious about this game, so they are trying to play the coaches against each other to get what they want, more playing time, people benched, etc. It's really ruining any sense of fun I was having with the game.

Of course there's two games tomorrow, and I don't even know if enough people will show up to play, let alone allow me to ride the bench. I was hoping it would rain tonight, but it doesn't look like there's much chance of being saved that way.

Vacation...had to get away?
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I’m beginning – no, I take that back, I am having a love-hate relationship with softball. Over the past weekend, I’ve devoted about six hours to it this past weekend, and that’s thankfully without the Thursday practice we’ve normally had. To me, it seemed about three hours to much.

Here’s one of those things about me, I like to just go and do something. Preparation and practice leave me bored. This was a big deal in band, as I was there for two things, the thrill of the performance, and the social outlet that it was after all of the music and drill learning. If I could have had that stuff just downloaded into my head, and have the extra hours given back to me, I would be so much happier.

The one place where this doesn’t apply is trip planning. I love researching for a trip, and trying to line up all the things to see and do on a trip, in fact, doing that makes me less unhappy about wandering aimlessly thinking about all the things I could be missing.

Still, with practice and the games, it feels like it’s just too much – which of course makes me re-think the desire to join the Turtle Creek Chorale, yet another time-consuming process with even fewer performances than the softball games. It’s also an all year round commitment, as softball is only a few months in the spring. I know I also enjoyed marching season much more than concert season in band.

Of course, I have learned some things at the practices – both good and bad. I learned that I can hit a softball, and that I can play some of the positions on the field, but I’ve also learned that I’m not fast enough for the outfield, and I have a hard time knowing where to have my glove for any given play. I know this is something that Chris has learned with practice, but it’s going to be a little longer with me.

I easily get frustrated when I can’t do things off the bat – so to speak. The odd thing is with the bat, I’m not too bad. In my two plate appearances yesterday, I made contact both times, actually slapping the ball over 2nd base the second, giving me enough time to actually run to first base as the ball rolled to center field. I got a rousing cheer from the rest of the team for my first bonafide hit.

Still, when I can’t catch the ball, that makes me loose the excitement for the game – especially when I’m having to huff and puff to go get the ball. That, plus the temper tantrum I threw last week with the whole catching thing probably led the coach to write me in as a substitute for one game, and just a designated hitter for our second. There is a point where I do actually want to get out and play the game, not just sit around in the dugout, keeping score, but I come up to butting heads quite often with the fact that in this league, there are many people who want to lead, and they are often the most competitive. I am not one of those people.

I guess I’m expecting more beer league softball instead of something where the coaches actually scout other teams, and players actually slide into a base. Although I like a good play, and I’m sad when we don’t make them, at the end of a game, I really couldn’t care less what the score is. I want to hit, maybe run around a bit, and just have a reason to have actually put on some sunscreen for the day.

Yesterday I was in the dugout keeping score, and our coach was yelling at me to yell out what the last opposing batter did to try to give us the edge. There was all sorts of shifting and notifying and more yelling. There was yelling from the dugout, from the base coaches, and more out on the field. I wonder, with all of this yelling, does anyone get the message? Personally, I can do without it all, and truly, if you’re out in the field, just be ready when the ball is hit, because even the most consistent hitter will strike the opposite field. Trust me, only a handful of guys are actually consistent hitters. That’s why it’s D League.

We’ve already decided that we aren’t going to the Gay Softball World Series, so lets have a good time. So we’ve lost three times, big deal – especially since two of those teams – ones that are gunning for the trip to Ft. Lauderdale, look like their just a little too good, and too buff to be in our league. Someone get them a keg.

Of course, when I did reach first base – and held there, our coach comes up and asks me if I wanted to have another player run for me. Hell no, I ran to this base, and I’ll run to any other I can manage to get to. Just because my knees hurt and I’m slow doesn’t mean I’m not going to play the game. Of course there was no need as the next batter struck out.

So of course, the social aspect is the upside. Our yelling coach is actually a sweet man once you get him away from the desire to win. There’ lots of other good people on the team, and it’s nice to get to know some new people here in Dallas. Things like the barbeque we had after Saturday’s practice, that’s good stuff.

Still, I wish I had brought a swimsuit for the hot tub. It was a little full for me, with all the guys, but I could have used a good soak, because I get to do more in practice than in a game. Still, I was a little shy, not just to have to drop to my boxer shorts, but also to get in the hot tub with all the good looking boys.

Plus, after getting out, having to go free-balling in my jeans shorts- that, like getting all riled up about losing a game, that’s a no go for me.
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So I'm at work once again, trying to concentrate on moving millions of dollars for people I don't know and will never meet, but often taking the time to look out the window to see the people jogging along the road by the pond, the road closed for the 5K run going on here today.

I wonder about people who jog. They obviously have better knees than I do, since just running around on the softball diamond can make my knees ache for the next couple of days. I also think I'm starting to get the twinges of Arthritis, and remember that my Dad also was diagnosed about this age in his life. Can you say analgesics?

Still, back to the jogging, it seems like a useless battering of your body that doesn't end up getting you anywhere - of course this is from the guy who's been using the elliptical machine at the work gym for the last few weeks. The only things I see are the same view of the lake and Everyone Loves Raymond reruns. I guess i associate jogging with Jim Fixx, and his keeling over and dying out on some street somewhere doing the same thing that he professed to so many others as healthy.

I'm looking at the ducks out on the pond, the light breeze creating gentle movement across the water. i can't help thinking that I'd much rather be out there right now, than looking over another dang form, or another problem item. It's yet another day of overtime, overtime that's just lightly suggested is very important to your fledgling job.

I guess that's the thing I resent about it. I don't mind overtime, and I certainly love the checks that come from it, but I like to do it on my own terms. If I feel I can stay an hour later (don't dare make me come in early!), then I'll do it, or if I need to finish up something one the weekend, I'll do it. I spend a few saturday evening's in my old Greenway plaza office listening to phone calls, glad to be away from the bustle of the rest of the office.

Of course, now I have no projects, or management duties, I'm just a customer service jock, and my job can be done by many others just like me. There's no pressing need for me to be here, except for the fact that they need a warm body to do this job, and the work comes in in a greater volume than can be accomplished in the workforce's regular hours. So, one is told, you need to contribute 10-15 hours of overtime, weekly.

What the consequences are of not making that demand are unknown right now, but in a couple of weeks, when TBRU comes around, I guess we'll find out, as I'm already stuck here on Friday, and I'm not going to let the job eat into any more of my time with the bears than the eight hours I'm required. They won't see me on Saturday, either.

I guess I just want to have one whole weekend without anything to do but sit on the couch and sleep, and I haven't had one of those in months. I've been pushing myself a lot lately, with work, softball, working out. I've neglected finally getting out all of my stuff from boxes - or put them away, and I fear I'm really not doing enough to clean up around the house, but really, I need to be told what to clean.

All this week I've felt like a stiff, aching old man who should have gotten more sleep, rather than to try to run after a ball, or continue to be tortured by walking to Ray Romano. By the time I got home on Friday, I felt down, depressed and defeated, though I still fought going to bed early. Of course as a part of all of this, I find that I'm not writing, yet my mind, usually at work, is full of ideas for spinning yarns and critical salvos. By the time I wind down, they fall away, and all I want to do is give up again and sleep.

i'm worried that my current mood will carry over to TBRU and then I'll just have to stay away, for fear of another bad experience, full of promise, but missing on the grand expectations I've placed on it. I guess I tend to dream big, bigger than I should, for those thoughts always end up missing the mark.

I sit here, on days like this, and wonder what happened to those thoughts of being an actor, a celebrity, doing my own projects and just enjoying life. Or perhaps being a great entertainment or sports reporter or a writer of stories that actually had a plot - something I could never do. Of course back where those dreams live are strange things like being straight and being able to afford fine houses and cars and such, and money in the bank that would keep my life comfortable, just like the customers that I essentially work for - albeit remotely - now as I take their applications.

Somewhere I let my life go with the tide, and never really started swimming to change it.

I'm missing a softball practice, and get together that's happening at Chris' house right now. I guess it's OK, since I've seen all those boys a lot the last few days, and I think we practice a little too much anyway. There's also a practice tomorrow, so obviously I'm not going to get away that easily, am I?

I also need to go buy a glove and pay for the registration fees. I guess the obligations just to play a game don't quit, do they?

I love being here - in Dallas, and I feel I need to do more to get out and see some friends, but right now my life is a little caught up with silly things like Softball "Jersey Night", which I don't want to go to, but is a part of getting team funding. This is tomorrow night when I really want to be watching TV at Matty's. It seems like my life isn't my own right now, and I need to work on that, and being a little more assertive. Maybe I'm paying too much attention to the wrong things, worried about expectations and demands of other people, when I need to focus on me.

Of course, what I'd really like is a vacation - somewhere else - to get my wanderlust on, but that's not going to happen, as I can't get a Monday or Friday off until August.

For now, I'll have to settle for watching the ducks out on the pond, with the little forest beyond it, for my little getaway, but I'll also have to get some work done as well, just for good measure. Perhaps if I go work out, Friends will be on instead.
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So I'm at work today, and I'm a little bit bored. Surprisingly I can access LJ here, but I'm sure they'll cut it off now that they see that I'm checking in on a Saturday when I'm supposed to be researching files. Still, it's here now, so I thought I'd take a little break.

Besides, it's always a little tiring to see all these accounts with more money than I've ever saved, or even earned in my life.

I'm working some tax-season overtime, and it's sorta mandatory. Early this week they asked everyone how much overtime they would be working, including this weekend, with the strong suggestion that it be somewhere around 10 hours. Yes, that's quite a lot, and this is the most overtime I've worked in years - especially when my last employer cut everyone's overtime off.

Still, there's not that many people here, so I'm wondering if some of it's just lip-service, and I wonder if I'm being taken advantage of being the new guy and not knowing how the system works. Hmm.

Still, that's not what I'm here to talk about. As some may know, I'm inching closer and closer to playing softball this year with the team Chris was on last year. Why the softball season goes from March to July, I have no idea, but it is what it is. I'm trying to learn how to be a catcher, and after catching for about two hours on Thursday, there was one tired catcher who had let a lot of balls get by him. On Friday morning my knees, hip and back were really hurting.

I have to admit, the drills and such are not my favorite thing about softball. I'd rather just get out an play. I guess it's similar to my workout routine - warm up? What warm up? I've never been much for practice, or rehearsals, remembering back to my band days, but more about the actual performance.

Of course, this doesn't mean that I can just go out and catch a game. I still need to find a pitcher to work with, and just get more consistent. I also need to stop being afraid of the bat, and that it's going to hit me. Luckily in D League, they can't steal on you when the catcher passes a ball.

So, finally to my little point, I need to start getting equipment, you know, like a glove, for one. I have a little baseball glove that won't work for softball. I need some new shoes as well, but I don't think I really need a pair of cleats.

Luckily, the team provides the jerseys, but I'm going to need some shorts. I'm not so sure that I need baseball pants, really, and I'm not even sure that I'd look good in them, but what I am thinking of is getting some coaches shorts. My regular shorts are a little too loose to really be good for athletic competition, so I'm thinking if I can find some coach's shorts that may be just the trick.

Yes, I know they're out of favor being all polyester and all,but again, form and function, you know? Of course I'm finding it hard to find them, especially on-line. I look at Eastbay, and they didn't even have them, showing looser polyester shorts. I guess it's the basketball influence that's changed from tighter to looser shorts, even for the coaches.

Of course part of my reasoning is just those thoughts of the past, and often finding some of the men who wore coaches shorts rather hot. I think there's a few early, not-necessarily wanted crushes back there. Not that I'm thinking about actual coaches, since most of my school time was spent in band, which replaced P.E. classes.

Here's one other thing that I want - coaches shorts that have a lace-up fly, much like football pants of years gone by. I have some good memories of liking the look of the bulging laced fly of those shorts in my youth. I guess there was some secret desire of wanting to unlacing those shorts and peeking inside.

I'm not sure If I'd be able to fill those shorts out as well as those who fill my memories, but I'd be grateful if anyone knew where I could find some in about a 2XL size.

As it is Dallas, you have to look good out on the diamond, you know?
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♠The building at work has been open just a few years. Besides the odd fact that there are actual Longhorns out on the property, and ducks on the pond that I can see out of the window, one of the stranger things is the floor. The building is very tech friendly, so the floor is raised to allow for the cabling. There are small access doors all over the place. Stranger still is that the ventilation system is also in the floor, so at my desk, on the floor is a round port with holes and today since the air conditioning was turned on, there was a cool breeze blowing up from the floor. It's kind of strange feeling the breeze on the lower part of your elbow as you go to pick up the phone.

The building is also a showplace for indirect lighting. all of the florescent bulbs are pointing up to the ceiling, or concealed in little overhangs and alcoves. Still, this allows for the polished concrete floor in the bathroom to actually reflect which makes it easier to see if a stall is occupied from halfway across the room.

♣I went out to the batting cages tonight with some of the guys in the softball league, and was happy with my ability to make contact on most of the pitches. Really, it must be from watching all that baseball, since i certainly haven't played that much. It's actually making me excited about the season. I still have some reservations, like being somewhat scared of the ball, especially when catching it in the field, but i think I'll do ok if I can catch.

Chris was stuck in traffic, so I got to meet the other guys who were there. This is a bit of an accomplishment since I'm normally shy around new people, but heck, it was just softball, right? Of course the one I naturally gravitated to was the one who I was most attracted to, and he was nice, but as we were talking I found out something. On the gay softball team, he was the token straight. Suddenly it didn't bother me so much that he smoked, but it was a bit disappointing. Still, he was a nice guy. Unfortunately he plays for an opposing team.

♥I'd like to thanks who or whatever from saving me from the two motorcycle cops on 114 this morning as I was in a hurry to get to work.

♦So, Sirius Out Q will have their host, John McMullen, broadcasting his friday night show from the hospitality suite at TBRU. That ought to be something for you who are not coming to listen to, as that in the later hours could get really out of hand. Of course you won't be able to see it on the radio. They are also sending the overnight host, Jeremy Hovies. Too bad they aren't sending Larry ([livejournal.com profile] lfkbear) to make it a bear trifecta.

☣Despite reports, and dubious pictures to the contrary, my beard does not have anything living in it at this time, thank you.

➥Recent music purchases have been The Arctic Monkeys, The Magic Numbers and Morningwood, which thankfully keeps this from being three bands with "The" as part of their name. Each are enjoyable in their own way.

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