eggwards: (Uphill Climb)
Today is Valentine’s Day, and while many may be happy to express their love, or shun the day, for most of my years Valentine’s Day meant one thing, my sister’s birthday.

Laura would have been turning 37 today and it breaks my heart today that she isn’t here to celebrate. There hasn’t been a day since she passed in July that I haven’t thought about her, wishing I could just tell her something or get an architecture question answered. While the strong emotions are fading a little, I know today will be a difficult day for me.

Laura was a beautiful, smart accomplished woman. We had gone from sibling rivals to good friends. She had a career that was successful, and growing. I think she left a good mark on hospitals around the country and I’m sad that there will not be more buildings that she’s designed.

I had the opportunity to speak at Laura’s memorial service. I tried to say a few words about our relationship as brother and sister and bring a little bit of life into the service as the pastor didn’t really know anything more than what was written about her. It was interesting to try to bring some levity to the service as well. It’s tough to try to sum up someone’s impact on you like that. Just a precious few moments, or a few sentences.

If you don’t mind I’d like to tell a few of those stories about my wonderful sister whom I miss very much.

Read More )

Sometimes, since she lived far away from me for the last few years it just feels like we haven’t been in touch for the last few months, but right now, when I’d love to call her to wish her a happy birthday, to tell her that she’ll love 37 as much as I did.

It’s been a lonelier world with out her, and make for a very blue valentine for me today. I love you my talented and smart sister, my Belgium Idiot, Laura.
eggwards: (Default)
Time for a few answers...

First, [ profile] braddumm asks: "Explain the moniker "Eggwards"

Back in college all of the Tubads - the tuba section of the Univ. of Houston Marching Band - got nicknames. There's a some thought put into the names and a big naming ceremony for the new guys, much like what you see in "Animal House." I was given the nickname "Egg". Two reasons for that, first, I was new to playing tuba and second it was a description of my shape - belly shape mostly. Needless to say, the name stuck.

When first getting on the internet i needed a name, and I was surprised to see that Egg was already taken. Occasionally people would take my last name, Edwards, and mix it up with the nickname putting it together, hence Eggwards. It's been my online persona ever since.

Once i started getting involved with the bear community I still used the same name and never really changed to something bear or cub related.

Second, Peter ([ profile] texaspenguin) asks: "What's your favorite part about Dallas?"

That's a tough one. I like that the restaurants are easy to find. heh. There's some good people, but it's hard to get together, especially when you're not one to be outgoing and get everyone together.

Really, Dallas for me means a connection to my family, but it's more of a past connection when my grandparents were still alive. now that they are gone, i find I don't have that much of a connection with the rest of the family, or the city. For all the bragging, Dallas is pretty dull and average. Frankly, San Antonio and Austin are really more interesting cities, though I doubt I'd move to either one.

Sorry, I'm a poor ambassador for the city.

Then there's a barrage of questions from Carlos ([ profile] paladincub21):

"Have you ever found me attractive?"

Well, I'd have to say I've only seen a couple of pictures of you, and there's some good things, but I'd really have to meet you to know better.

"More seriously, being gay and being into sports is easy for some, hard for others. What has your experience been putting the two together."

Well, I'm not sporty. I seem to lack the physical makeup and the skills to really play sports well. I liked playing softball, but I knew I sucked, and the team wanted to be more competitive so it wasn't fun anymore. I'd love to play on a less-competitive basis, but there's not a league that I've found like that here in Dallas.

As for being a fan, i think I was a bigger fan when I was alone and sports were a good way to kill the time. Right now I just don't have many people in my life that really watch sports, so I find myself drifting away from getting involved there as well. I'll still watch an Astros game now and then, and I'll watch what's going on when we go out to sports bars, but that's about it.

Still, I'd love to get back to playing Fantasy Baseball again. I wonder if I should ask if people on LJ would be interesting to try it again.

"You weren't out very long before you started dating/partnered? I know you love your husband, but how do you feel about how quickly it all happened?"

It was fast, but I think I had gotten to the time of my life where I was looking for something like that. I was more than happy to have something solid and lasting among all of the chaos. I think if Chris wasn't in my life, and I was just going out here and there, I still wouldn't be out to my parents right now. I probably am still a little naive because I didn't spend a long time in the pool, a little less well versed about the community and such, but I think it's worked out great.

And lastly, "What do you like best about your partner? What do you like the least?"

Put me on the spot will you? I like that he understands me, mostly, and he does understand that I'm still a little undercooked and emotionally difficult. Heck, I don't always know myself who I am, and I'm less than confident in many ways. He deals with that well.

I think we both share the worst trait, and that we're both a little passive-agressive. Sometimes i'd like him to take the lead, and often it's the same time he'd like me to do the same. This often comes up when we are going out to eat dinner and we haven't decided on a place. We both just want the other to make a decision, but neither one of us wants to put out an idea that might be shot down. Sometimes decision-making can take a while for the two of us.

Should you be inclined to ask me a question, you can do so HERE, where comments are screened.


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February 2013



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