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For the life of me I can't seem to get overly excited about the Rick Warren thing. Sure, I think it's a lousy pick, and I think the Obama could have done way better, but in the end, they guy gets his few minutes on stage and goes back home.

Now I know, you are say, this guy's an ass, and he will use this so he can be seen as a power broker, just like James Dobson or Pat Robertson, an in that way I'll agree with you. While he doesn't have the television presence like Robertson, or the radio presence like Dobson, he has been finding a larger audience by attaching himself to political movements and politicians. It's a pretty strange place for a preacher in my book, and it is sad that Obama is giving this man more face time.

That's what's more upsetting to me than the actual invite. Heck, Billy Graham has been doing these things for years, and I don't agree with him, either. I'm sure someone like Episcopal Bishop Gene Robinson would cause a lot of furor as well. Warren is getting it from both sides as Fundies seem to not like that he's fraternizing with pro-choice politicians. We all have our battles.

I guess why I'm not outraged as much as other people is I see this as political payback. Obama seems to be making an statement for inclusiveness and for differences of thought, or at least trying to spin it that way, but I see it more as payback for not trashing him at the "Forum" Warren held and for not campaigning against him. Warren could have done more to rally his flock against Obama, but likely spent more of his efforts getting Prop 8 passed. Perhaps Obama is trying to use this inaugural platform as a way to keep this guy off his back for a while. I don't know.

If you want to protest this move, fine. write your congressmen and Obama and all that. It's good to stand up. I see this more as a blip than anything else, and there are much bigger issues. If you want to use this as a starting point to announce that you will be looking to the administration to do more for GLBT issues, then that's a positive. If you fell back on the idea that there was a democrat in the White House and we would be making great strides, I'd like you to look back to the Clinton Years.

We will continue to need to make our case for rights and a seat at the table. That shouldn't change no matter who's in Congress or the White House.

Disappointed, yes, outraged, not so much. Maybe I'm in the minority here, but I'm waiting on some bigger policies before I'm ready to write Obama off.

★ One bit of Rick Warren business, the Seattle Stranger's Blog (or SLOG) yesterday posted some interesting information from Rick Warren's church. Apparently he has a manual for church leaders out there. And some of the excerpts are pretty funny. Like many Non-Denominational and Baptist churches, they are against porn, against strong women, and against gays.

What I really found funny was the information on how to make church more appealing to men. Apparently churches have become to soft an feminine with quilts and banners and priests in Prada shoes and all, and church needs to get more butch in order to get the men involved. Warren suggests you take down the quilts and put up swords and animal trophies.

He also says, "years ago, I attended a church where everyone held hands across the aisles while singing a unity hymn. Men hate this — especially when they have to hold hands with other men." So apparently church has problems attracting men because it's too homoerotic!

No wonder churches want to put women in their place and "ex" the gays, they are ruining the church for manly men!

★ Speaking about making our presence known. There's a rally tomorrow. It's a candlelight vigil all across the country, and in most places it's taking place outside of shopping centers.

In Dallas it will be outside of the Galleria. Now I don't think this was the best choice as the Galleria is the place that out-of-towners shop, not people from Dallas. I think we could have done better by picking Northpark, but the choice has been made.

Is anyone here going to go to the vigil? I'm not 100% sure about this one, and I have my reservations about the format, but we'll see. Maybe I'm not excited because I don't care for the format. A candlelight vigil during the Holidays just makes you look like a group of carolers that aren't singing. We aren't supposed to bring signs, but instead have T-shirts with clever sayings. I'm not sure as people drive away from the Galeria they will get the message.

I'll consider it though, for the community and all. I'll have to find where I can get a good candle.

★ Lastly as the colder weather sets in, I can feel my joints tightening up. I always knew that I would likely start showing some signs of Arthritis as I got older, and can remember my dad having the same problems showing up as he got into his 40's.

My knees already cause some trouble, but that's from weight, not Arthritis. Luckily my ankles haven't been twisting and turning as much as they used to. Now my fingers get kind of locked up at times, and that hasn't been fun. I guess I'll have to start looking for Arthritis pain relief aspirin at the Walgreens soon.

Arthritis and some forgetfulness seem to be pointing to a bright future!
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I'm probably writing this way too late, but system problems at work yesterday made the whole day a total bitch, and I never did get around to writing down my final Olympic thoughts, so here goes.

First, credit where credit is due, NBC did do a better job of showing all of the different sports this year - if you had cable; and you were willing to stay up into the wee hours. Badminton? Sure. Wrestling? Yes, a day after it happened, but yes. Where NBC used to show a more diverse lineup of sports in their latenight segment, this year they just placed it all on cable. There's still the bias of showing events that American's are in, but not as much as NBC Primetime.

NBC does a lot to protect it's affiliates, holding many of the big sports for primetime. This year was very odd because some events would be taking place live in the morning, Beijing time, and others would be held back from the night before. Of course everything was highly edited. It's odd when they are covering just a small group of competitors and suddenly you find that someone has taken a medal and was never covered.

Lets reduce the amount of beach volleyball. it's an awful sport and only serves as a way to get scantily clad women on TV. At least they aren't underage, but still. They barely show the Decathlon, the classic Olympic sport, won by an American even, but they show hours of people in the sand.

The second week of the games just fell flat, not only because the Michael Phelps show was over, but because the US wasn't doing so well in the running events (we did fine in the field events, but they don't focus on that), that NBC seemed a little bitchy about it. The games seemed to run out of steam after swimming and gymnastics were over.

Lastly, the closing ceremonies certainly didn't bring the excitement and the wonder that the opening ceremonies did. It didn't help that NBC tried to stretch out a 90 minute event into 3 hours with tons of flashbacks. The large tower just made the floor show look like the worlds largest showing of Chinese Acrobats at Six Flags. The fireworks still amaze, though.

London really came in and rattled the whole thing with the rock-and-roll double decker bus. Leona Lewis and Jimmy Page? Talk about a change in tenor at the ceremonies. They really livened up the ceremony, and then China couldn't really comeback because their pop-spectacular features government friendly songs sung by Jackie Chan and a group of people you never heard of. "Beijing, I Love You" is no "Whole Lotta Love."

For the 2012 games London should just load up the entire opening ceremonies with world-class pop acts, Annie Lennox, Paul McCartney, Elton John, Pet Shop Boys, Spice Girls, and whoever is hot at the time. Screw the thing of we have a billion people, just show that a small island has put out a ton of pop culture over the last 50 years or so and have that as your opening ceremony. Done.

Hey, note to the Republican convention guys, if you also thought the second week of the Olympics was too much, so will the second week of political stump speeches. People are already tired of presidential politics this year, and will be even more so next week when your giant American flag is up in St. Paul.

Otherwise, I am sunburned again. I can't seem to use the aerosol spray cans of sunscreen without missing some very large swaths. I have stripes right now.

Off to work, from what I hear the software problem we had yesterday still isn't fixed, so it should be quite a day.
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I've said it before, but my doctor fully believes in better living through chemistry. Over the last few years of seeing him, I never seem to get away without getting some new prescription for something. Over the last year I've been taking two pills, one for cholesterol and one for blood pressure, even though I'm just in the high normal range for both.

He's also got me sticking myself with a little pen that has a diabetes medicine that he has me take more for the supposed weight-loss benefits than trying to actually control my sugars - though it does both! Of course, the CPAP machine was also supposed to help me lose weight.

I was disappointed that when I went into his office and was weighed, the scale showed me at 20 pounds over where I thought I was. I knew I wasn't wearing twenty pound shoes, so I actually had them calibrate the scale. That's when I learned that our gym scale totally lies. Sure, the gym scale is wildly inconsistent, but even the median weight was wrong - and that just made me mad.

Chris nicely says it must be muscle mass. I appreciate that, though I haven't seen it. I think my body is resistant to change.

Still, I thought I had come out of it with only the status quo of paycheck killing drugs until he got the labs back.

For some reason he hinted at something in his questioning phase of the physical, asking if I have been experiencing regular "morning wood." This is where it's nice to have a gay doctor and not feel odd about the question as we've discussed sexual things before, but this question I thought had more to do with blood pressure and sugars than anything else.

Nope, he was checking up on the aging issue. Now with the onset of 40, a whole host of new questions and tests come along. Part of the lab work included a prostate test where I did fine, and a testosterone test. When I called in about the lab results he said I was experiencing a drop in testosterone. He said as you get older the pituitary gland clicks a switch and turns off much of the production of such stuff.

He said I had dropped to about a quarter of a normal level. I'm not sure if that's a normal level for a 40-year-old, or for men in general.

So here it is, the newest drug designed to make sure I have abundant morning wood, I guess. It's called AndroGel, and I think it's what Mark McGwire was on for a few years. Right?

The odd thing is that it is a gel that I have to put on my belly or arms, but not on my chest. Don't these people know I want better pecs?

So there you have it. I'm now on steroids. Maybe finally I'll start seeing some better results from those workouts and be the muscle bear I've always wanted to be, and the total stud I wish I was. Aren't drugs great?

Of course there's a long list of possible side effects, including increased breast growth and discomfort (?), and prostate enlargement. Yikes. Of course it said it can also lead to sleep apnea. I've already gotten that naturally, so I guess I'm OK there.

Needless to say, I am a little worried about this. I was expecting more of a pill solution, and while yeah, I'd like to stay "young and virile", I'm not totally on board with this solution yet. I'll be watching the results very carefully.

What I can't wait for is the 'roid rage. Chris is going to have to make sure he doesn't bring up the man boobs now!
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Before I get into tonight's post, I'd first like to say I never want to hear this phrase again in my life - "The foreign DNA sample inside JonBenet's pants".

While Chris and I were having dinner, the television above us was featuring CNN's wall-to-wall coverage of the increasingly outlandish story, the "analyst" kept repeating the phrase over and over again, making me loose my appetite.

Alright, that's over.

Today I went to see my doctor, making it the first vacation day taken from work since I got there in January. The doc was pleased with the weight-loss, and that I'm working out. He didn't even give me a new drug, but I'm still on the old ones. Frankly I feel better and seem to be having less medical issues, so go me!

Since I had the rest of the day free, I did a few errands for my upcoming trip, and then picked up Chris who I convinced to take a half day off and go to Six Flags Over Texas with me.

What was great about heading to the park today wasn't just that the crowds were smaller, but the crowd was downright sparse because school has started up for most kids in the area. Of course the fact that it was 105 degrees probably kept people away as well.

Generally any ride we went up to, we could get on immediately. Sometimes there would be no one waiting for the next ride, and we could go again. Compared to the madness of the last days of Astroworld where I think we rode three rides for the 6 hours we were there, this was heaven.

I also managed to fit my big frame into almost every ride I wanted to be on. The notable exception was the Batman ride that required a shoulder harness, rather than a lap bar. Being big is one thing, but being big and tall makes it pretty much impossible to get that shoulder harness down, and the connecting belt affixed. I guess i still have a goal there.

Still, I was proud that i got to ride the other coasters, sometimes I was uncomfortable - like in the very bumpy Texas Giant - a wooden coaster that tries to cram you into a seat, and the hard seat dividers then slam your hips for the next 2-3 minutes. I was hurting there, and in my knees that were hitting the front of the car.

I need to loose the hips, I tell you! then I'll fit right into that small, designated area they call a seat.

Still, after the second time through on the Shock Wave, I found that I was getting sick and dizzy. Being jostled around, hot and a little dehydrated was not making me feel good at all. Suddenly I was feeling like the slow walking grandparent that only wants to sit down at the mall. Sadly most of the air-conditioned shows and restaurants were closed due to lack of teenage staff. Still, we made a go of it, continuing to slurp down water at each fountain we saw, then braving the heat. Had there been lines, I know we would have given up and gone home.

My clothes were absolutly soaked - and not from the infrequest misters around the park. When we went home, we needed a shower so neither of us would be mistaken for salt licks.

Still, a great day, and lots of fun riding rides I remember and seeing the changes in the park since I was last there - which I think was 1999. I bored Chris with plenty of recollections on how the park was in the 1970's and 80's, mostly dealing with the before PC usage of Indians attacking the French fort, scalping the settlers, and the fact they still called the southern area the Confederate area, with battle flags flying.

So we've gotten back in the coasters, now to work on fitting in them comfortably.
eggwards: (Uphill Climb)
So I'm at work once again, trying to concentrate on moving millions of dollars for people I don't know and will never meet, but often taking the time to look out the window to see the people jogging along the road by the pond, the road closed for the 5K run going on here today.

I wonder about people who jog. They obviously have better knees than I do, since just running around on the softball diamond can make my knees ache for the next couple of days. I also think I'm starting to get the twinges of Arthritis, and remember that my Dad also was diagnosed about this age in his life. Can you say analgesics?

Still, back to the jogging, it seems like a useless battering of your body that doesn't end up getting you anywhere - of course this is from the guy who's been using the elliptical machine at the work gym for the last few weeks. The only things I see are the same view of the lake and Everyone Loves Raymond reruns. I guess i associate jogging with Jim Fixx, and his keeling over and dying out on some street somewhere doing the same thing that he professed to so many others as healthy.

I'm looking at the ducks out on the pond, the light breeze creating gentle movement across the water. i can't help thinking that I'd much rather be out there right now, than looking over another dang form, or another problem item. It's yet another day of overtime, overtime that's just lightly suggested is very important to your fledgling job.

I guess that's the thing I resent about it. I don't mind overtime, and I certainly love the checks that come from it, but I like to do it on my own terms. If I feel I can stay an hour later (don't dare make me come in early!), then I'll do it, or if I need to finish up something one the weekend, I'll do it. I spend a few saturday evening's in my old Greenway plaza office listening to phone calls, glad to be away from the bustle of the rest of the office.

Of course, now I have no projects, or management duties, I'm just a customer service jock, and my job can be done by many others just like me. There's no pressing need for me to be here, except for the fact that they need a warm body to do this job, and the work comes in in a greater volume than can be accomplished in the workforce's regular hours. So, one is told, you need to contribute 10-15 hours of overtime, weekly.

What the consequences are of not making that demand are unknown right now, but in a couple of weeks, when TBRU comes around, I guess we'll find out, as I'm already stuck here on Friday, and I'm not going to let the job eat into any more of my time with the bears than the eight hours I'm required. They won't see me on Saturday, either.

I guess I just want to have one whole weekend without anything to do but sit on the couch and sleep, and I haven't had one of those in months. I've been pushing myself a lot lately, with work, softball, working out. I've neglected finally getting out all of my stuff from boxes - or put them away, and I fear I'm really not doing enough to clean up around the house, but really, I need to be told what to clean.

All this week I've felt like a stiff, aching old man who should have gotten more sleep, rather than to try to run after a ball, or continue to be tortured by walking to Ray Romano. By the time I got home on Friday, I felt down, depressed and defeated, though I still fought going to bed early. Of course as a part of all of this, I find that I'm not writing, yet my mind, usually at work, is full of ideas for spinning yarns and critical salvos. By the time I wind down, they fall away, and all I want to do is give up again and sleep.

i'm worried that my current mood will carry over to TBRU and then I'll just have to stay away, for fear of another bad experience, full of promise, but missing on the grand expectations I've placed on it. I guess I tend to dream big, bigger than I should, for those thoughts always end up missing the mark.

I sit here, on days like this, and wonder what happened to those thoughts of being an actor, a celebrity, doing my own projects and just enjoying life. Or perhaps being a great entertainment or sports reporter or a writer of stories that actually had a plot - something I could never do. Of course back where those dreams live are strange things like being straight and being able to afford fine houses and cars and such, and money in the bank that would keep my life comfortable, just like the customers that I essentially work for - albeit remotely - now as I take their applications.

Somewhere I let my life go with the tide, and never really started swimming to change it.

I'm missing a softball practice, and get together that's happening at Chris' house right now. I guess it's OK, since I've seen all those boys a lot the last few days, and I think we practice a little too much anyway. There's also a practice tomorrow, so obviously I'm not going to get away that easily, am I?

I also need to go buy a glove and pay for the registration fees. I guess the obligations just to play a game don't quit, do they?

I love being here - in Dallas, and I feel I need to do more to get out and see some friends, but right now my life is a little caught up with silly things like Softball "Jersey Night", which I don't want to go to, but is a part of getting team funding. This is tomorrow night when I really want to be watching TV at Matty's. It seems like my life isn't my own right now, and I need to work on that, and being a little more assertive. Maybe I'm paying too much attention to the wrong things, worried about expectations and demands of other people, when I need to focus on me.

Of course, what I'd really like is a vacation - somewhere else - to get my wanderlust on, but that's not going to happen, as I can't get a Monday or Friday off until August.

For now, I'll have to settle for watching the ducks out on the pond, with the little forest beyond it, for my little getaway, but I'll also have to get some work done as well, just for good measure. Perhaps if I go work out, Friends will be on instead.
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This is how these things get started...

While Valentine's Day was spent working, for the early part of the day, I came home feeling really sick. By the time I reached the house I was shaking, shivering and dizzy. Chris had come down with the same symptoms on Sunday, but it didn't seem to be as bad as this (of course, it's always worse when you've got it.

Needless to say, I didn't get to go out and get him anything, or take him to a nice restaurant or even cuddle up on the sofa. My evening was spent trying to stop shaking, and for the one time I did get out of bed, try not to fall down on the floor in a heap. All in all, a wonderful way to spend the evening.

Still, I appreciate Chris cooking some noodles for me, and making me tea and some Alka Seltzer cold medication. What more can you ask for from a partner, really?

It's not the Valentine's Day I was expecting, nor wanted, but i think it showed the truth in our relationship more than a card or box of chocolates ever would.
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So I signed up for the gym at work yesterday, and I'll probably carry a gymbag tomorrow to encourage myself to actually use the facility. Of course the place doesn't have a pool or anything, but it has circuit training machines, cardio machines, free weights locker rooms and the like. Except for tennis and racquetball courts, it's pretty much like the gym of the Houston City Club that I had a membership to for a while. Of course the city Club cost me $75 bucks a mont, and I never used the tennis courts or the dining facilities, so economically, it really wasn't a good deal.

The gym at work is $19 a month, no restrictions, quit at anytime. A pretty good deal, really. The problem is, it is a long way to drive on weekends and they only have memberships for people who work there. The other problem is that Chris can't join. It's not a discrimination thing, no partner/spouse can join, unless they also work for the company, at our campus.

Chris has been wanting to shape up a bit for a while, and has been thinking about joining a gym. Now I'm willing to participate in a joint membership because I would like to have a workout partner. It helps get me motivated. sure, it's an expense, but I think it will be good for the both of us.

Now Chris had found a coupon of sorts from the Discovery channel to test out Bally's for a few weeks, so tonight we went over there to see what the facility looked like. It's a lot further than a 24 Hour fitness location and several other privately owned gyms that are in our area. Still, there was this coupon...

now so you don't think that I haven't been around the block before, yes, I've been to a gym and gotten the sales pitch. Several years ago I went to Q, The Sports Club looking to get a gym membership, and suddenly I was being sold a package with multiple locations and options and all sorts of stuff. When they got me in their little car salesman room and wanted to get me on a contract and draft my account for three years, I knew that it was trouble, and I wanted to get out. The experience was a lot like car sales, where he even brought in his manager to "sweeten" the deal.

Here's some lines to avoid - "It pays for itself in a few months", "You can always leave after a month (but not telling you how to break the contract)", and the insulting "Well, you know you need this, how will you ever reach your goals?"

This is where you should run, not walk, out of the dealership fitness center.

So tonight we had Bobby who took us on a tour of the Bally Total Fitness location on Preston near Belt Line. The gym looked OK, and I have to admit, I liked the pool - though the smoothie bar and nutritional supplement center was unnecessary ("but you get a 25% discount on this stuff!"). Everything was going well, until we saw that we were going to go into that little sales room.

Yep, from here the spin started. Certainly we would want the full package, and we could try that out free for a month and it would give us access to many different bally's locations. Certainly this was better than the free Discovery Channel offer that would last for two weeks more than the one month offer! Oh, and we'll need your bank information for the full trial period (The one that you can quit after that month if you remember to shut down your checking account).

What was skeeving me out is that the guy kept talking and looking at me, not Chris. It was the classic couple divide and conquer technique where you sell the other partner on it and they can convince the main decision maker. Suddenly i was the easy to convince wife. I didn't much like this, and he wasn't going to get to me, because I already had a gym. It was all Chris' decision to make.

Seeing that he wasn't getting very far, he suddenly lowered the rate, though it was already on a second sheet that was already filled out with that special rate - oh, but we'd have to decide tonight, because "that rate isn't even supposed to be in the computer anymore!" Wow! Imagine our luck.

I had had enough, and pretty much shut up, while Chris tried to get another couple of questions answered, like what their real rate and enrollment fees were. Bobby, of course, deflected these inquiries. I wasn't playing the demure wife who knew we needed to get in shape, so why don't we pay this? When he asked me point blank if I needed to be working out, I said, "I'm really not making this decision, he is." I was now out of any further conversation.

Chris then asked for any paperwork we could take home, and Bobby said there wasn't any, so that pretty much sealed the deal. We asked if we could still use the "lesser" Discovery Channel trial, and leave it at that, and he begrudgingly gave us cards that we could use to get in on the freebee. Of course he shorted us a week.

Personally, I was pretty mad. I think this is the lousiest form of salesmanship around, and I wonder why this actually works with people. I know people buy cars under pressure, and they also sign these ridiculous contracts for these gyms, then never use them again, but can't get out of them. I had a co-worker who once did collections for another gym, and they were using tactics that would make loan sharks proud. Very few contracts are as iron clad as a gym membership.

I just wonder where they train these jocks on how to make these awful sales pitches. Certainly it's pretty intense, and it removes their hearts and conscience. Can you really think your really serving your customer, or just corporate greed?

Still, I'll take my fitness my way - but as Bobby says "If you don't come here at least three times a week, you'll never see results." He'd certainly know that insulting my commitment would do the trick to get us to sign. Of course, I'm convinced now. Just as convinced as I was by the guy several years ago at Q, who also told me that I had to have this, or the guy who tried to sell me a car at what ever payments were best for me without telling me the price of the car, or the APR percentage. Bobby also pulled the "so is this how much you expected to pay" line to see if we would cough up more information for his next pricing pitch. Sorry, i don't fall for the shifting price trick.

Really, if the guy had just been honest, and given reall answers, he would have gotten a lot farther. The he wouldn't have to convince the wife here of anything. We made a hasty exit after he delivered the cards to us.

Here's a tip, make sure you use your mental fitness before swimming with these sharks.
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It's almost the close of another World AIDS Day.

As I've mentioned before, I've only been lightly touched by the disease, possibly because of coming out so late, and just not having the circle of friends that others had during the most difficult years. Of course the disease hasn't passed, and while things are more bearable in North America, that's not saying that this disease is not still exacting a terrible price across the globe. Many places are still quiet about telling their citizens how to protect themselves, or even details about the disease. Now education might be more difficult as attention turns to the disease of the season. Last year SARS, this year Bird Flu, next year, who knows?

I have friends who are living with HIV, I have known one person who has died from AIDS-related complications, a drum major in college. I hope not to lose more. For their sake and ours, I hope there's a cure and a vaccine, soon.

Still, with all the extra news stories and the attention payed to AIDS, i heard something I didn't ever expect to hear. President bust actually used the word "gay". While he was mainly focusing on his continued abstinence program (I'll save judgement for now) he did pledge to expand AIDS programs here and abroad, and praised the gay community for their continued work in battling the disease. Heck, how could we not?

Still, it's the actually the fact he used the word "gay" and not the more approved homosexuals. He's stayed away from "gay", let alone "lesbian" for his entire two terms since the conservative crowd doesn't like "gay". It's perceived as being too accepting of homosexuality and that just can't happen.

Of course the President had trouble pronouncing "condom".

one more little tale, a personal one. In my short time out, There's been a minor AIDS scare or two, besides finding out about one partner's status a while after, there was also the odd call I got one evening.

Now I do try to take precautions, either through practice or through prophylactics, but you know I prefer the term "safer sex" because you never know. Still, when I got the call, I was in a bit of shock. This guy was telling me that he had reason to believe that he might have been exposed, and that I might have been as well.

After the initial shock, I thought about it, and realized that it wasn't anything to be too alarmed about because we were both responsible, and I knew this person was of good character. I declined to ask him why he felt he may have been exposed, since it really wasn't my business. I thought at least he was honest, compassionate and responsible for calling me, even though he was still waiting on test results.

In the end it was a false alarm. My regular test has come back negative, and in begin in contact with him, so did his. A relief for us both.

Still, sex is risky business, and should be thought of that way, but we must all balance our lives between what we must be responsible for in life, and enjoy the true pleasures.

Today, remember, prepare and fight, hopefully tomorrow we'll be able to live freely

Poke Me

Nov. 29th, 2005 11:41 pm
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I got the first Christmas Card in the mail. It's not even December yet! I'm not too surprised because the guy is super fussy, but I'm surprised that he mailed it prior to Thanksgiving. I wonder when I might get mine done.

Somewhere in the middle of my drive home from a long, extended weekend with Chris, I realized that I had forgotten my medication at Chris' house. The reason for this is because it's in the refrigerator, and as much as I tried to tell myself earlier that I needed to get it out before I left, but as I got all of the other bags, and chris helped me out to the car, all that thinking was all for naught.

Miles later I started to think about the heat being on in the car, and that the medicine needed to stay cool. Then I remembered, it was cool, miles away from where I was.

The medicine is a pretty new one. my doctor seems to be a bit of a mad scientist, and loves to give me something new each time I'm at his office. I have medications for cholesterol, blood pressure, and to keep my blood sugar in control so I don't kick into full-blown diabetes. He also likes to promote this or that into curbing my appetite to help me lose weight. The results on that last one have been...mixed at best. Not totally successful might be a better review.

So, the new formula isn't a pill, for once, but instead is a pen shaped vial with 60 or so does of liquid, called Byetta. I now have to take the clear medicine twice a day, before breakfast or dinner. Over the last week, I took it before lunch, because we never seemed to get out of bed to actually make breakfast.

The big thing about this is that this medicine must be administered other words, I'm now stabbing myself a couple of times a day. each time I use it, I have to screw on this tiny little needle, inject myself, and take off the needle and store the "pen" back in the fridge.

I'll admit that I was surprised when my doctor spoke to me about the new medicine. I never thought I'd have to use needles, and in a way, if felt like I lost the fight with diabetes, sort of using "insulin lite". My doctor didn't actually dispel that notion, so I guess there's something to it. It's something I guess I need to take a little more seriously, even though my doctor still says that I'm just bruising with the full blow disease.

The other thing is that i have to think about this's not just a pill that I can take wherever, since it has to be refrigerated, I have to think about what to do when I want to eat out, and if I go out, after work, i have to think about going home before hand. In going to Dallas, I need to place it in a small cooler (in this case, my lunch kit I take to work), and off it goes in Chris' refrigerator, where it currently resides. I'm not sure if he knows it's still in there.

Still, I was able to go to Walgreens and get a new pen of the stuff, so I'm set for now. There's a couple of other pill bottles that I guess I'll wait to get back later. Still, this new medicine is a definite change, it's supposed to help me, and even help me lose weight and gain energy.

I think my doctor thinks this a wonder drug. I'll reserve judgment for later when I see some results. For now I have to just get stabbing myself a couple of times here and there, and to stop forgetting these things behind.

Still, I can't help feeling like someone's science project.


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February 2013



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